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I'm learning, you see.
It's never fast to achieve,
Never hard to believe.
They say it sets one free.

But, how?
It started off with fears,
ended up in tears.
What now?

I let it scare me too much.
You let it overtake your mind,
you were so hard to find.
I only wanted to touch.

But hey, hi, hello.
Now I'm yours and you're mine,
since we erased that old line.
I'm so glad, I won't let you go.
pretty girl,
beware,
the boys are out to get you
they'll take away your flower
they want what's only yours

pretty girl,
blossom slowly,
stay in your cocoon for now
for summer can only last so long
and soon it will be over
Flashes of yesterday’s garden,
deep green under a gray sky--
I step into the canvas, moving
slowly, regretful and watchful,
with the weight of past light.

So many colored years,
some bright, some somber,
and you, the voice that ripened
youth, the accented syllables
opening the hours between
cliffs and sky, your presnce
re-appearing in soft explosions
of living, so painful to let go.

I pray for change, impermanence,
for last year’s dust to settle to
acceptance, to turn over the pages
of the past and to forgive everything.
She lies

Because I lie

I lie

Because I am insecure

She lies

Because she no longer trusts me

I lie

Because she hurts me

She lies

Because she doesn't want me to see her pain

I lie

Because I fail to understand

She lies

Because she can no longer see the truth of me

I lost her

When I could no longer see the truth of her
© 12/29/2020 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
 Dec 2020 Walter W Hoelbling
jude
society makes us all believe
that we are
not good enough.
but in reality;
everyone is good enough.
more than good enough.

especially you.
she never believed she was good enough for anything or anyone. ever. but she is.
i like guys...
but i also like girls
why?
i dont know
how could i not

the soft curves and delicate touch
my favorite lipstick, just can't get enough
the sweet perfume
and her lighting up the room
the long legs and mischievous smile
feeling things that took a while
to fully process and realize
that i cannot continue living lies

now don't get me wrong
i still like men
but i can't resist  
my cravings for them
still figuring things out
Then a lawyer said, "But what of our Laws, master?"
And he answered:

You delight in laying down laws,
Yet you delight more in breaking them.
Like children playing by the ocean who build sand-towers with
  constancy and then destroy them with laughter.
But while you build your sand-towers the ocean brings more sand to the shore,
And when you destroy them, the ocean laughs with you.
Verily the ocean laughs always with the innocent.

But what of those to whom life is not an ocean, and man-made laws are
  not sand-towers,
But to whom life is a rock, and the law a chisel with which they
  would carve it in their own likeness?
What of the ******* who hates dancers?
What of the ox who loves his yoke and deems the elk and deer of the
  forest stray and vagrant things?
What of the old serpent who cannot shed his skin, and calls all
  others naked and shameless?
And of him who comes early to the wedding-feast, and when over-fed
  and tired goes his way saying that all feasts are violation and all
  feasters law-breakers?

What shall I say of these save that they too stand in the sunlight,
  but with their backs to the sun?
They see only their shadows, and their shadows are their laws.
And what is the sun to them but a caster of shadows?
And what is it to acknowledge the laws but to stoop down and trace
  their shadows upon the earth?

But you who walk facing the sun, what images drawn on the earth can hold you?
You who travel with the wind, what weathervane shall direct your course?
What man's law shall bind you if you break your yoke but upon no
  man's prison door?
What laws shall you fear if you dance but stumble against no man's
  iron chains?
And who is he that shall bring you to judgment if you tear off your
  garment yet leave it in no man's path?
People of Orphalese, you can muffle the drum, and you can loosen the
  strings of the lyre, but who shall command the skylark not to sing?
I just need to kick over the traces
break the bank place a big bet
and win a ** fortune on the races
I want to break a lifetime's habits
stop keeping to every rule
stop the Universe
and all that's in it
for taking me for a law-abiding fool
I want to stop seeing that pile of washing to be done
I want to stop being straight-laced
and start to have some fun!
rebellion!
Covid has claimed some of my close family
and it has not finished yet
maybe if just one other person had bothered to take precautions
somewhere on this Earth
My Father would not be dying in hospital, all alone.
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