hey baby girl you'll be fine open your mind
dark days are ahead but be kind
to others specially to yourself
don't say no one would help
because in you is where mending begins
It's true it's a cruel world
but don't let them bring you down through words
Oh baby girl I know after this
you'll laugh with bliss
you'll be okay
come what may
my beautiful soul
I know protecting others would be your goal
and if ever do it right
don't give up the fight
Don't let them feel your pain
because there's nothing to gain
oh baby girl don't cry
*soon those tears will dry

Hello, depression
you came back.

I didn't miss you
but I do remember you
quite too well.

I felt great when I was free of you
I was functioning, I was laughing
I was happy.

No, I do not need to be reminded of how worthless I am
The people who gave up on me have proved it all

No, I do not need to know how terrible I am
I see myself in the mirror everyday
I hide myself and my thoughts everyday

I do not need to know my flaws
because I already feel their presence even in silence
especially in silence

I despise you.
If you're going to **** me, do it quick
not creeping slowly when I'm silent, not when I'm alone, not when I wake up at 3 am, not when I still feel.
Do it. Please do **** me faster
so I'll be rid of you.

Go ahead
Take my heart
Take my soul
I would give these up to you
If I know
That maybe I would have a chance
A chance to make you stay
To make you feel better
Than the past you never said
Then when you did
You left
As if nothing happened
As if You were never broken
But the horrible effect
Is you left me hollow
For I have given my everything
Just so you could feel whole
I have given you my world
And all I could ever have is the chance
A chance to feel the way you did before I came along

I don't like dreams
For they are full of lies
Making you hope and feel this delight

Then when you wake up
It makes you yearn for it to be true

Such blissful vivid scenes
Such cruel jokes

I know you wouldn't care.
I know you  wouldn't listen.
You act like you're innocent— like everything's fine.
But its not.
You call yourselves friends but are you really?
You can't see the fake smile, so forced, so untrue.
You turn your backs on someone who cares for you.
You turn cold and silent at the person your friend doesn't like.
I reach for you even if you're remote but you choose to move farther away.
You leave someone who loves you dearly.
For someone who has done everything but.
I've grown tired.
I've learned where I stand and how to do so on my own.
I was blind, now I see.
Why they say the things they do about you.
It's true– somehow, maybe.
You guys are heartless.
So unreal and clueless.

I have no time for fair weathered friends.
They don't deserve as much love I give my true ones.

Vines intertwined.
Scattered leaves left behind.
Where can we seek what we need to find.
Beauty and chaos combined,
What is this that makes us blind?
Look around maybe search behind.
Then they'll see something undefined.

When can sorrow never reach our tomorrow?
How can we escape this tragedy happily without agony?
I want to cross galaxies.
Redefine fallacies.

But how?
How can you do what is unknown?
When will you know to dodge what is thrown?

Like lost birds we search
For a branch where we could perch.

sadly, since you came back
words are hard to say
thoughts were hard to form

His are the arms that makes me feel like I am home
His are the lips I wouldn't mind kissing everyday
He is the one I would like to spend my future with

You can never heal scars with words my love
So please don't say you're sorry
I just need time
And I'll be okay

Mom I wish you were here to say good night
These nightmares are becoming real
The murmurs are getting louder
The claws at dragging in further

Mommy save me
I don't want this anymore

I'll let you point the syringe
Its okay to feel the flow
Of that chemical of peace

Please be aware. Please let me have it.
Please save me make them go away

Your words in forms of whispers
Replacing what I call music
Your breathing warm and deep
Serving as my source of air
Your arms that envelop me
Providing refuge
Your touch that with every linger it
burns
It leaves traces
along those places
a contingence

Something vivid
Something surreal
Something perfect; impeccable


But then at one moment my eyes started to flutter
The vision of you beside me
Disappeared
Then I realized
*I woke up

You did nothing wrong
You shouldn't be sorry for something you cannot control

I remain awake in the dead of night
Holding tears and fear of sight
I cannot be silenced
says my mind with sirens

And I cannot be fixed
said by my heart with grief and anguish mixed

**I am dying slowly but surely

my love, can I ask you why?
why the stars I wait to see keeps shining even when the moon goes faint
why the stars last so long
why some die a quiet death, but some fall
and why it was easy to say you no longer love me the way you used to?
even when I chose to love you everyday, even when it hurts–especially when it hurts.

All my life
I've read novels and story books
I've watched them come to life in my tv screen

And just before true love's kiss is about to happen
They cover my eyes

I thought of why's
Are they afraid to let me see how what they say would look like?

Little years added in my life
At times I could see
How they both hold hands and then close their eyes
Sharing something gross at first
Yet magical as you see the silhouette of they're future made but what they called love

For  some time I have dreamed of finding a prince
Though I may not be royalty by blood
I imagine someone who treats me like one

Someone who gently touches my skin in fear I may get hurt
Someone who says nice things
But still joins me with my mischievous tasks
Who'll dance with me through midnight then kiss my hand good morrow
Someone who's my foundation when I become weak
Who'll be the knight of this heart full of bliss

I understand that it may never come true
For reality is no where near fiction
But inside of every one of us
Is a person in hopes of finding what they call true love

No matter how cruel the world could be, hope is the answer that makes us find a better tomorrow

To my sweetheart
who has that perfect set of pearly whites
who likes to smile with chocolate on her teeth
just to make us smile and give a laugh

The girl who always wants to be in the middle
Who has loads of stories to tell
The girl filled with insecurities
about her nose, height and at times, her hair

This lovely girl
who likes to read stories
loves to eat chocolates
and is fund of taking selfies

She needs love
And gives it too
She's talkative and smart
Frank yet true

She's sad at home
Seeking for the affection
of her families attention
She needs a listener so we'll be here

And the truth is she is not ugly
In the eyes of many,
She is pretty
Having the radiant smile
Her best friends love

She's not bad
But she is human.
She's frank at times,
Weird at most moments
But they all loved her anyway

She's been through a lot
I've understood that she,
Is a strong young beautiful woman
Whom not all can understand.

That is life.
Not all can be understood.
She's one of the unique souls,
Ever rarely found.

But in the arms of her loving friends
That rare unique soul shall be held on to and loved.

You saw me crying right in front of you
Did I have to yell too?
You just walked away and said it wasn't your problem
Like you didn't care at all
Why do you have to be so heartless
I just needed you to help
I needed and wanted your comfort
It was obvious
It was shown
But I guess nothing is really like that
Then I realized no one would really care
The rain then shared the sadness
My only confidant
My own tears

He's someone I have to wait to be with,
Even so I feel Him in the silence.
In my heart, in my being.
He's my peace, my rock, my sanctuary.
In His arms I feel the love everyone craves to have.
I'm not perfect yet He never judges whenever I commit a mistake.
Unlike the people that surrounds me
I'm not the best but He loves me for me
He knows me inside and out
He's my hero and I am His.
He made me feel better today
I guess that is my faith in His prevalence.

I have decided not to let people take away my happiness
I already know that nothing lasts forever
If people will leave, I'll let them
I believe they were part of my life for a reason
And if it's all at loss
Something better would replace them

I have learned that some people are worth it and some are not

I guess it's all measured by who stayed at your darkest and dwelled in the happiness

You are different, they don't have the heart like yours
So be weary child
For they will not return the same love you give

Sometimes you have to let people go
Specially when you're the only one holding on
Trusting that they will undestand you
But they don't

That will always be life
Choose who is worth it

Go ahead and drown in that shallow well
Let yourself replenish from all those lies
My life would continue to change chapters
With or without you

But if you ask me now
I would prefer without
For I already have enough people I don't want to lose

You being there would not be your loss but mine

Oh darling you don't know
how your every decision affects someone.
Someone who was always there for you
Who had been with you for the longest time
Who has seen you mad, crying or the happiest being alive
And has always stayed even when you were at your worst

Don't make them feel like you have replaced them for someone new
For someone you've met and then became your world
they made you a part of theirs
but right now, you have not
They don't know what has been happening
Your presence is there- yet your mind is not

Have you noticed how hurt they are?
Have you given time for them, or have lessened it?

It wouldn't hurt to communicate without other things in your mind
It isn't bad to enjoy your time with them
Please I know that feeling..
It's bold, dynamic and new
But don't grow tired and seek comfort in something foreign
Don't be unfair like that
Remember them, Cherish them
for you may regret and lose them too
They love you darling
You would not want to hurt any other,
but darling,you've wounded some
You made a choice,a decision
without thinking about it's consequences
You can never keep all
For somethings never last the way you want them to

How do I begin to tell you the story of my old lost love?
When our book has already closed
And our chapters give me paper cuts
How do I reminisce?
When with those ecstatic moments
In a brief span of time
Would hurt when remembered
Like being in snow beautiful but cold
Like being near fire but being inflamed
Like drowning but you see people breathing normally

Plundering into a familiar yet uneasy state
Thats how I am now
now that my love's gone.

I have this strange habit of getting left behind.*

I guess it was my fault, I never made myself someone who would be loved.

I guess I spent all my time on you
And yet you have other plans.

But darling
All I wanted was to hold your hand
To have your eyes locked on mine
To have you all to myself
To be mine and mine alone

And now I'm full with guesses, never knowing answers

I now know what they say is true.
Never give your heart away.
Never give your all to a person.

Because at the end–when they leave– you will have nothing left, not even yourself.

There are somethings only we know
Those hidden touch
Those forbidden vows
You are my secret not meant to be shared
I know its selfish but this I swear
I treasure you dearly
I wish you do the same
Words you've said spin in my head
Memories of you flash before my eyes
My skin still feels your touch that send tingles up my spine
I replay the whispers between us that sends butterflies amidst my stomach
I fear it may go far but at times i regret it didn't
This mind is in chaos
But one thing still remains clear
The picture of me and you.

I find death fascinating
I guess it's because we won't know where we'll go or what will happen
The few good things I could think of are:
You won't have to feel invisible because you already are
You won't have to do things you don't want to do
You can be alone and no one would care
You can haunt people for fun
You'll have peace
You won't have to please people
They can't hurt you physically

But:
words would sting
Memories would fade
You can see them...
You can see them happy without you, okay that you're gone
You would know if they cared or if you were just some measly being that could be replaced

A farewell never said but felt by the heart
A one way ticket to a world forever apart

Its sad how so many people could be self conceded.
I admit I am sometimes too
But to create stories?
How low
How foolish
How weak
Sad person, full on imagination
Go write them on books
Not gossip about your made up world

*we are the main characters about our life but sometimes not everything would be about you

They spend the waking days and setting suns
apart, away
and every day
they yearn for their lover's touch

It's sad how I realize it was always them , you and me– never just the two of us.

I know you'll never
notice my stares
guess my thoughts
How come my eyes are sore
when they became like that

But I admit these scars, are getting deeper.

My thoughts are already blades
*who needs physical self harm

Don't repeat the mistake you once rued
For if you did you already know what's next
You can't keep hurting people and expect them to still stay

Why all at once
A person can only take so much

"I know"
I've said this hundreds times
But I don't know why I say it a hundred times more

Not a single astronomer
Would study this super nova
No matter how long it waits
They don't

It continues to hope
But then it burns and explodes
It's ****** by the black hole it, itself has formed

Have you ever stopped yourself from crying
that your whole body is shaking so much
Your hands cant even type properly
And your eyes can't see clearly because of the tears that are coming
I hope you haven't
Cause this pain is something I don't want you to suffer

I might explode
For i love you too much
I might burst from the hurt that i bear
But i don't care
I know i'm young
Too young to know if this is true
But i just know it in my gut
I would never leave
Unless you ask me too
I may get tired but if you love me back
You would cheer me on
Give me strength to bear the pain in return for loving you
I was broken or so i am because of you
Everytime you come so close you still feel so far.
I might explode
But i know you wouldn't care

It's not yet time oh darling I know
You really can't be there all those times
I need you
But honestly, it would feel better if there's nothing to need at all

It just keeps my hopes up more
And the more it grows, it doubles the pain

In you I found solace
In you I found my weakness but you've also given me strength

And I don't know my heart can take this all anymore

I know I promised I would never
Never fall for you
Never be jealous of people who come near you
Never feel weary of the uncertainty
Never leave
But I did fall for you, everyday
I was jealous for they could still touch the one I treasure beyond myself, they could hear the thoughts of your beautiful mind
They could see the things I saw that made me love you even more
And I know I can't force you to stay
But I want you to
I know I shouldn't but I find myself unsure
I know I said I would never leave but I fear that my love for you may be too intense that it wouldn't just break you, it would destroy me
I'm scared beyond reason
Uncertain of what I should do
For I am breaking torn between two
It would hurt me to see you hurt
But it's pain that eats me up when you're getting father away
I guess I'm left with the choice
Of staying and bearing the grief
Or leaving and destroying myself

This is the temptation of barely holding yourself together.
This is the pain you feel when you find out the truth.
That no one would choose you.
No one would love you as much as you thought they would.
Friends don't turn their backs on friends and neither do they make you feel alone in a crowd.
They don't turn cold and choose a side. But thats the problem.
Are they true?
Truth hurts are the true realization even more.
I'm broken and tempted but I'm barely holding on to my last hope.
I know now why people said those mean things about them— about us. They're partly true now that I realized that.
No one will save the other no one will care.
I'm alone and I know it.
Shun by the world I've known.

You don't have to say the words i want to hear
You don't have to the things that would please me
I'm not one to judge I know
But sometimes I do
And so do you too
I won't care as much probably
If you didn't do the things you do
Or say the things you say
I've learned not to depend my happiness on people that could take it away
Because if I do, with you gone, it would take my heart too
I won't please you either for I have grown tired
Tired of not being enough
Tired of doing wrong things for your perspective that are not for mine
I am enough and I am worth it
I may not be for you but for someone else maybe I could be.
I was made and born to existence
I was well taken cared of not for you to bring me down but for me to be better
Better than who I am each passing day
Better that who I was in the past
I am me
And you are you
I won't mind you if you don't mind me
We are separate and thats how it should be