and yet....
    everyday
I   F
       A
           L
         L
    deeper
Into Your Eyes
      Into Your Words
             Into Your Voice
    The feelings my heart.
            and mind
      have created
Leave me very little choice
          I cannot control
   the musings in my soul
        the desperation in my heart
     or the erratic thoughts in my mind
           That keep tearing at my insides
      Making me want to fall apart
                perfection
                         =
                      you
      Especially, in regards to me
I just wish you could see
          I know I sound crazy
     But, sometimes we just can't help
            how we feel
       It's too much to ask of you
   But I'm a fan of the truth
          and I know these emotions
      that I'm trying to conceal
          desire
               chemistry
                      love
        they're all real
  I tried and tried and tried
         but I just can't control
            what's deep in my soul
     and how my heart feels...


Just thought you should know...

You told me I'd be happier if you and me didn't exist but you forgot you're my happiness

Your love was my favorite lie.
But my mistake was I fell, and I fell hard.
It wasn't a mistake though,
Because you were worth it.
But you've changed.
And you won't let me know you again,
No matter how hard I try.
Your love weakened, mine deepened.
You promised you wouldn't hurt me.
I forgot promises were made to be broken
You made me believe
You were also the one who put me down
I missed you even before you left.
And I should have held you tighter.
Because I know something will always keep us strangers.
You were my favorite almost, love.
Our forever ended sooner than I thought or did it just not exist for us?
Lie to me one last time, love, just one last time.

Life is beautiful.
They said.
Only if you make it.
I replied.
We live only once.
They said.
We die once.
I replied.
Smile is the best ornament.
They said.
Only if you were it.
I said.
Love is beautiful.
They said.
Only if you fall with him.
I said.
And this war between me and them,
Will remain never-ending...

you always asked me
why i sleep so much
but the truth is i don't
get more than a few
hours of sleep
i lay awake all night
waiting for someone
to notice i'm alone and
i'm scared and i can't
seem to find a reason
to live
i wanted you to notice
i was dropping hints
i was leaving clues
i was waiting

My darling, if only you knew how much I think of you everyday

How every waking moment I say that I'll see you later
Then jump out of bed
You're almost my reason to live

How everything that I randomly see has a connection with you
Then smile
you really left your mark, not on my mind but heart as well

How every time that I'm alone I stare at a remote place
Then realize I'm thinking of you, again
why is it– how did you do it?

How every night before I go to sleep, after I pray, I imagine a life with you
Then drift to a blissful sleep
you made the bad dreams go away

But really how everytime I'm with you
The whole world becomes a distant place and you're the only oneI want to be with
I really love you

My darling, if only you knew how much I think of you everyday, you'll say I'm obsessed

Here I am
Lying on my bed
Staying awake longer than I should be
I think of life, studies, family, friends, myself, but often of you
I think about possibilities
Of you doing what I'm doing right now
Of us going through hardships together
Of a future with each other
I like thinking of them as much as I do
But doubt creeps in and it eats me whole
Will I be enough?
Am I going through with something worth it?
uncertainty
Then when I fight with hope and see the lighter side,
right before I fall asleep
I guard myself again letting my hopes drop
Saying you will never think of me like I do with you