Press me against you
Like flowers in a book

I asked you
If you thought
You were capable of hurting me
You said you weighed 115lb
But a sliver of glass
Cannot weigh more than a few grams
Look what that can do
You are a shattered pane
That is all I feel
Your little slivers under my skin
You are not my mother
But I hear her in your voice
You have a mother's touch
It stings all to familiar
You broke the skin on my face
Open like a ripe peach
I suppose we are all capable of terrible things
But you burdened yours as love
Pressed it into my skin
And let me rot in silence

Humble in your regrets
Over all choose love
Under cloudy grey skies
Shameless against virtue
Empty though you be

Over all choose love
Under cloudy grey skies
Shameless against virtue
Empty though you be
Humble in your regrets

Under cloudy grey skies
Shameless against virtue
Empty though you be
Humble in your regrets
Over all choose love

Shameless against virtue
Empty though you be
Humble in your regrets
Over all choose love
Under cloudy grey skies

Empty though you be
Humble in your regrets
Over all choose love
Under cloudy grey skies
Shameless against virtue

Humble in your regrets
Over all choose love
Under cloudy grey skies
Shameless against virtue
Empty though you be

Empty though you be
Shameless against virtue
Under cloudy grey skies
Over all choose love
Humble in your regrets

If you asked me now
To my face
What I would have wished for
Since before birth
While I was still in the womb
To have, and carry
With me to the extinguishing
Of my numbered days
My answer would be such
And I would spit it
Into your face, your throat
And your eyes
So that it burned like hellfire
Into your stomach
I would need you to know
But more importantly remember
Like a scar
On the back of your hand
And a thought piercing your mind

It would be nothing foolish
Though futile nonetheless
I would not ask for a life without pain
Or the riches of the streets
That I awake the dust from
It would be just this

Spare me
Spare me the hopelessness
Let me not even taste it
Like metal in my mouth
And smoke from a dying fire
In my breath

Spare me the hopelessness
The mental end of the rope
The end of the line
The no more track,
We have already come to far
You can turn back
But for what
But
For what
And for who
And why

Just
Spare me the hopelessness

This life tried to take me by the horns
The world tried to lead me by a leash
And I choked
Choked out
On misery and despair
And I lay naked on the ice
With my nails scratching into the frozen ground
Trying to dig my own grave
Still trying to light my existence like a match
Just to feel
Feel something
And have it over take me
But still be unchanged
To taste
But not be consumed

I wanted to live
To wade in the water
To pour my love out
Like a river over the cliffs
And dash myself
With the waterfalls
Over the rocks
Again and again
And again

I would meet you in the stars
And we could dance with the sun
Coaxing her into a rising
To drench the horizon with her light
And the fill the earth with promise

And if you asked me
What would you take from the rest of the world
I would be silent
Fold my hands
Like a prayer in my lap
But my mind she would run
To the back of my teeth
And my voice she would catch
In the hollow of my neck
And what I wouldn't say is that, "I would take,
Take it all,
Ever bit of hope
From east and west and beyond the seas."

Because to fall into this
The tunnel with no light at the end
Is a death
I cannot live out

So spare me
Spare me the hopelessness

I will see the sun
Before it rains
Or the clouds die

I am a crime scene
There is blood on the walls

You asked me what I wanted
A soft life, I replied
You poured me another glass of red
In an iridescent cup
When I press it to my lips
It is sweet
I have lived
Through enough bitterness
A soft life. You promised.

Climb into my bed
Warm skin on gray sheets
I tilt my head back
One more kiss
Before the moon
Takes over for the sun
One more kiss

I could write many words that you would never read
Empty rant words and deep flesh wounds
I could tell you stories to make you laugh or cry
But it doesn't matter cause its all a lie
I could make you feel sorry for the girl behind the screen
But it doesn't count cause there is something inbetween
I used a crow bar to pry the hearts I mended
And I counted stitches sewn by the witches
I vainly pursued more than one empty shell
But it wasn't worth it oh the stories I will tell

Alex Parker had, split personality
Was sick with asthma
And struck by lightning
Split by authority
And full of love
But the he of she
Knew it couldn't last
But the she of he
Wouldn't stop looking back

The train tracks lead to an endless road
The briars and thorns make a heavy load

The stones are uneven the feet of travelers heavily scared
People trying to push through a gate with a heavy guard

They raise the flags and their voices
Cursing the rulers for their choices

The dogs bark and the people scream
We are all on the losing team

A call for freedom a call to fight
I call to end the dark and reunite the light

People stand and people fall
Those who stood strong and tall

Words falling on deaf ears
A path winding through the years

A silent scream to help the lost
But you turn and count the cost

You hurt the weak and beat the lame
But you should cry and turn in shame

You think you know what you stand for
But you stand behind a shut door

What do you want, what can I give
So that the ones I love can live

I only need water, I only need bread
But I only have my hope instead

You strike my head, and spit in my face
You need the thrill and love the chase

You don't know how strong we are
We are never close and never far

You can't always be strong
We lie in wait until the dawn

We raise our weapons and banners high
We must give it one last try

The statues fall into the dirt
A lesson taught a lesson learnt

The strength of our hearts and the sweat of our brows
Was a heavy cost, to bring a terrible ruler down

fishtail braids
sock and sandals
drawn mustaches
left over food
songs on repeat
semi stinky feat
sweatpants and suits
unicorns and cupcakes
phone charger cords
long summer nights

I wish I could dream in purple
Its dark cascading color
An  effortless flow of memory
And gentle goodnight kisses
Of silent starry wishes
And dreams sent to the clouds
Of angry methodical voices
Who will always take a bow

Chinese food on Saturday
and bulimia nervosa on Sunday
anorexic pancakes on Monday
and cold syrup on Tuesday
camels from **** day Wednesday
and a dessert of sand for Thursday
a week of weakness for Friday

when will it end
the voices in my head

Butterflies on her arms then can never fly
Released by pain into a deep red sky

Sharpie marker tears on a stone face
Glass cutter knives take her skins place

The ones who cry for her know her pain
She dare not stop unless she go insane

A artistic name written in scars
To a split personality trapped between bars

She isn't a mutation just a mutilator
But she views her own hands as a traitor

A rebuke from the angles who watch her sleep
Know what separates the strong from the weak

Draw into the future is her painful past
She will do whatever it takes to last

The tension was so hot

We could of cooked muffins on the hood of your **Honda

I matched the look in his steel colored eyes with my own gaze of determination

The angel Uriel descended in but a thousand broken moments woven together with the distinction of bliss

And he bade unto me in my slipping consciousness...

I could not tear my eyes way even for an eon, the sight to my eyes was a breathe to my lungs - as is a beat is to my heart, to be everything at once,in turn to the nothing I was but a lifetime ago

Could you kiss my soul?
In the way music breaks my heart
Could you sing a song at the footsteps of the eternal himself

His ways, higher

I think I take too much, you say I take too little, still you give as generously as you have before

What is this
That I would bare
My soul to you
With solemness, your eyes
Find me in the dark
Still you see me as I am
But a child
A fragile candle wish
Blown among the known
And wretches of night
To weep with the mindless

How can I return unchanged
To that which bore me
It leaves me in anguish
That which knew me
It let's me go
To those who see, but know too little
Reach with tendrils of hope and fire

Further still you lead me
Through loneliness I am not alone

In case no one has ever thanked you for you existence
I would like to be the first;

Thank you <3
For choosing, to be here.
To stay here.

I know sometimes it is hard. You will question why. A lot.

Thank you. God Bless you my friend.

Red walls made of bricks
Red walls between you and me
Red walls that are to strong
Red walls that wont fall

Red walls of separation
Red walls the touch the sky
Red walls of rough sandstone
Red walls in a green forest

Red walls by the see
Red walls ridged my dirt
Red walls between you and me
Red walls that don't end

Red walls covered in graffiti
Red walls that shield the needy
Red walls the blows against
Red walls blocking the tide

Red walls the disappear in night
Red walls the keep darkness at bay
Red walls between you and me
Red walls protecting you from me

under every seat belt
with every drunk driver
between all the car seats
are the wheels of time
that never stop spinning

I bit into a poisoned word and it tasted like your kisses

Just a dream
       In a bottle
       ( I lost its lid)
    I blew steam in your face
               And then we danced
     Until the dreams were drunk
           And the truth was smeared
             Like the makeup on my face

The little girl in the white dress that I used to see in the mirror visited me in my dreams, and the words she spoke to me crawled off of her tongue like a spider on the walls, she whispered, "you think you are the reason that the sun dies at the end of every day, fool, you are the reason she rises every morning."

Take a white woman and cover her in red paint
Take a black woman and do the same
Now you can't tell the color of their skin
You can only judge from what is within

We are taught from a young age
To hate what is different from us
Now it's your choice to be peaceful
It's not the paint that is deceitful

But we are the same kind of people
If you look in my inner reflection
It's not about thick thighs and pigmentations
It's about every heart in all of the nations

Who would you take a slug for
Who do you wish death upon
Don't waste your bad words
On the ears of that's all that they've heard

Speak life into strangers daily
I don't know you or owe you
But I can still call you my friend
And we will fight together until the end

We all bleed red paint
We all die sinners and saints
Don't label me something I ain't
This heart, is not for the faint

So bless my skin
An all that is within
From the tips of my toes to
Every part the good Lord to knows

You judge me if you like
I won't reflect on it
I have cracks in my skin
And all the paint seeps in

And so it fills me up
With all the love and the pain
Of those who bleed out in vain
Because fools speak words that sound insane

Different shades of acceptance
So judgmental in their minds
Because they fear what is different
It's not your fault they on ignorance

So color me blue
And let the sky watch
Because we have bigger problems
Than who's white and who's not

What could break my soul but this
The unnumbered skies
Still, free pouring, moments
Riddled with the thoughts
Of God himself
These thoughts are timeless
And these hopes - endless
As the days of the maker himself
Such that I could taste eternity

Let burn my soul dry
And whisper my ashes into the beyond
An abyss barren of kings, and quiet, and shame

You are everything
To my nothingness
Like an ocean, forever raging its waves
Upon shore,
Sand,
And soulless cliffs of desolation alike

Still no saltyness could compare
To that which we soaked our sheets with,
Secrets wrought in moonlight
To kiss yesterday's memories
As though we knew
They were dreams in passing
Dreams ever present
And dreams moving on

The rain clouds gather above my head
Another day just beginning
Already misguided and ruined

The sun is lost behind a dark expanse
I should have known my happiness was not to last
Like all good things, they pass

The blackness of the sky
Cannot frighten me anymore
Its is just another closed door

I learned so long ago to shut out
To curl into a ball and block out the world
To become numb, to survive

I cannot depend on anything or anyone
Love is weakness and I am strong
On my own I know I cant make it

Take my heart but please don't break it
Use my broken glass
And you can build a window

Then even though I am scared
You can see clearly again
Frame me and place me on a wall

Out of sight out of mind
In a another dimension
Another time

This world has no magic
But this world has so much power
How do you survive

In a world filled will lies
The eyes watch and they burn my soul
They keep me at bay from my purpose

Is this life all but worthless
A birth into a sodden grave
With one reason to survive

No one
Has ever let me
Feel like this
And just let me, let it go
Without letting me go
It is so beautiful
That even when
You are apart from me
I feel your hands
Cradling my heart
The only one
To let me fall apart
But not let
A single thing break

I can go back years in my mind
and still
that changes nothing for today

I am such as I have never been before
and still
she is not enough

For to me all things
even dreams and death
are tangible

And such that I could touch
life and love alike
but the world spins in it's own way

I retrograde in my emotions
and there is no center
to loss and losing

My only comfort is this, you
and still I cling
knuckles white and bleeding

There is none and nothing to surround me
Still my body chokes
On air fouled with memories

And dreams
oh nightmares
that they would leave their scars and go

But the world and whims of life
are not as such
and such I should have known

Fools live and die
and I am still afraid
of life and death at once

The coffin of my mind is unburied
and such these memories renew
a soul tired in its journeying

This is now still
a day to remember
though many I still forget

For time passes like water
through this life
and on into the next

These scars I carry
though the weight not the same
still I feel its presence

Let me pass
just as I am
in the shadows of the overgrown

Into that which calls me
by my own name
in the dying light of the stars

This day is still only a rising
that will set into the past
and I will let you go

As I have done so many before
such is the way of the world
still she spins, in fields of flowers

We used to climb
Stairs of light together
I've done a lot of dying
Since you left
A lot of living too

I am just your average nut case
Searching for her soul mate
Inside endless cartons of ice cream

Your coming home
I'll see your face
I missed you more than the sun
I always knew you were the one
Let the rain wash away
All the pain of yesterday
I know a heartbreak awaits
But I've forgiven your mistakes
You coming home
Your coming home
I'll kiss your face
I miss your more than the stars
Cuz you sparkle so afar
Your coming home
And my heart wont be alone

I remember growing up in the city
I did not know where my next meal was coming from
Or if I would have boots or a winter jacket
But some things were consistent
My neighbors, shooting straight up in the street
My parents screaming about rat traps and paying last month's damm rent

And I come from nothing
And I ain't never gonna be good enough

And yo man my brothers and my sisters we don't got nobody but ourselves
But that's all we ******* need

Like, I walk in a joint but I don't smoke it
And y'all so inconsiderate and call it joking

You've never been where I've been
So you will never be where I'm at
And yeah it's hard to deal
But I ain't never finna go back

And it's fresh in my mind like air Jordan's till the day I die
Y'all watch me live my god damm life a way you will never understand why

Y'all gotta Mercedes you drive around there bendz
And all I have are my family and my ******* friends
But people will always be greater that possessions
Man things are **** compared to this life's lessons

And I wish to God I had someone to relate to
I look in the mirror and I say; this ain't me, this ain't you
But we from the streets we do what we do
Get in my way I still do what I gotta do

But it ain't my fault, I didn't chose the don't **** with me life, the don't **** with me life chose me
And now I make my choice, for the now and the tomorrow, I'll smile through all the pain and sorrow

Because you brought it all back to my mind like a whole *** fool
But ***** your a peasant so let the queen of the streets rule

I was so caught up in the art of giving away
That I misplaced myself in the cardboard boxes at the end of the driveway

A kiss on the forehead, a touch in the dark
A cold winters night, the heat of a spark

A freezing sensation, but warm and wet
A hope that Winter's not over yet

A season of ice, a season of cold
A time to tell stories new and old

Crouch by the fire, stand in the storm
Let the snow fall, and the snowflakes preform

How do I know?

It because of the songs you sing
And the answers you give
The pause in your thoughts
They way you barely smile
I know its been moments
I know its been a while
And I am so sorry
I couldn't speak right away
Didn't have the words
I don't know how to reply
I can't see in your mind
But still I know
You pretend
That you are okay
And I am so so sorry
It turned out this way
I didn't leave
I still have time to stay
So sleep away the night
Because I know
This morning will be better
Though it won't be easy
I'm fine
And you are okay
But you aren't alright
I know
And I am glad that I do
I am sorry I smiled
Its out of our mouth
That the truth came
And found its place
It took minutes to settle
And I couldn't respond
I wish you the best dreams
Ever to be dreamt
I wish you the sweetest sleep
Ever to be slept
And when the morning comes
Let your heart
Have some left
I wish you had listened
When I told you
That I would only
Break your heart
From the start
I warned you
I just leave hurt
Because of the mix
Of fear and feelings
So I just walk on
But I don't move
Please don't ignore me
When we meet tomorrow
For the first time
Don't mix fear with sorrow
And that's how I know
That you are just like me
You never let go

Touching is not a sin
Within these pillars
The temple of my body, I call home.
There are no prayers to be found
Between the dryness of my lips
And where you left me
With the wetness of my eyes
Singing its hymn to the martyrs before

Their hands have gone cold
In the silence of my secrets
These martyrs knock their bones together
As if trying to make fire
Could turn back time
As if their ivory stamina
Could voice its plea
There is blood on the walls in their temples

I hear the foolish cry out
With a voice that has never known lack
That condemned buildings are only meant to be torn down
That the bricks of my house were meant to return to dust
Buried in the mortar of my memories, blown in the wind
Unbuilt with no remorse
Leaving mortar scars in the earth

If the walls of my temple could speak
Her concrete lips would part
Revealing timber teeth
If her tongue was not sewn shut with shame
She would begin with a whisper
For she has never brought her voice up from the basement before

Her breath, stumbling over the threshold finds its footing
A guttural cry makes its way forth
A voice that blows doors off its hinges
A voice that only does cosmetic damage
As it attempts to touch your heart
Where it has never been reached

The cornerstones
Begin to talk
You were told even the stones cry out
It is too late for them now and too dark
The sky was almost crying
The heavens on the verge of tears

It is too late
I came undone
Because you can't tether fingers
As much as I wanted to tie ropes
To the nerve endings of my extremities and pull with all my strength
Pull them back to my heart
So they could be safe
Feel safe
Carry to the grave
Words I could not whisper to you in the dark

What prayers could I offer
To a temple torn down in anger
What words would I give
To the grave of my being
Whose hymns still ring out
Into the night, crying
Dust to dust
Ashes to ashes

My heart is screaming help me
My body yells it loud
But the voice of reason
Is hidden by the cloud

A foggy depth and no perception
A deep fall without a rope
Just another broken heart
That has lost all hope