What would you like for dinner, Honey?
Pork? Beef? Human?

Ah, I’m never sure about human.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a free range or organic human ever,
Which has always surprised me, seeing as they choose the environment they live in.
Haha, they have the most ridiculous hierarchy of alpha males and leaders,

The psychopathic lead the docile.
I find it hard to eat this animal,
Always in the back of my head are the rumours
That they have a conscience
Somewhere underneath their thin skulls.

And all the controversies,
About it not being quite human meat,
Or being diseased,
Or the weirdoes, with their
“where did humans come from anyway?”

They barely have any meat in them anyway,
Useless animal really.
Sometimes it’s just fat, sometimes just bone.
I don’t like the chances.
Too much risk.

I think I’ll have some foie gras, or maybe some veal.

I want to drive slowly
So that I can see
The sky here's too pale
I almost can't see the clouds

They say "you're one of the weirdoes"
But isn't it in a good way?
Don't you think so?

Once a day is ok
Why take it more?
Why take it slow?
Nothing's the best
But this is good though

If I can drive fast
I won't go down
I'll stay with the cloulds
Won't you be around?

They say "you're nothing but the best"
Yes I believe so

I want to drive away
I want to come back here
And never again

To be mute
  Yet to be heard.
    To tremble
but be unafraid.
       To be shy
    Yet voice opinions.
      All these are
     contradictions.
Sadly those people
  who are full of them
are pushed aside
  like a broken toy.
That is a mistake.
  We should listen to
        these people.
    These weirdoes,
        visionaries.
These walking talking
    breathing contradictions.
Take it from
               one
We know what
     we're doing
           We know what
        we say.
          So please just
                 stop
     and listen.
               Listen
                for a day.

I know movies start off with a quirky girl. Otherwise known as the Manic Pixie Dream Girl Trope. Not all weirdoes are like that. We weirdoes come in all shapes, sizes, personalities and colors. Guys can be weirdoes too. I know so. This isn't about fixing a boring ***, depressive guy who can't get his **** together. This is about Hollywood wanting to objectify a person with dyed pink or blue hair to make a romantic narrative. This is about calling out Hollywood on it's abusive romantic narratives. You can't follow someone around forever like a puppy with a tight leash; that's called stalking.
You can't quilt someone to love you; that's called emotional abuse.
You can't force someone to kiss you; that's called ****** assault.
You can't act like someone else by stealing their life; that's called identity fraud. You can't lie on your resume; that's called lying. These are the plot holes Hollywood forget. Do better Hollywood.
The ****** Always Cares! Unless you objectify them you are in for a rude awakening.

For those so narrow minded bigots
here is a small chance
to show us freaks and us weirdoes
a little tolerance.
We are perhaps too strange and too foreign
to fit your world view
and perhaps, perversely, too loving
to tolerate you!

I COULD MOVE BACKWARDS WITH YOU - The faster I go the more grating the loss. It's like I'm stuck in a fog-bound realm with no Stirling Moss.

BOWIE'S LOST LIVER - Give me David Bowie's liver or else! I can't do that! Why not?! It was cremated with the rest of him! Why would anyone do such a thing?! Because he kept company with weirdoes who didn't know the value of a malignant liver! ******* wankers!

A DOZEN MILLION HAITIANS COULD NEVER **** MY DREAM of a paradisiacal Haiti! The grass is greener because of mold control failure. The weeds are weedier than before and chafed lips aren't meant to be necked with, and solids that pass easily make Burger King salads more valuable than a romantic poke to the ****. I loved you 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 the injectable botulism, but you couldn't stop.

BEING A ****** ON PURPOSE (and deliberately and other words that mean the same thing) - To the shore I will row when my boat has a hole bigger than a vole. I will butter my bread till the butter's exhausted, like Pinocchio was when he got jaundice.

BURNED BEETLE - "You're not my gynecologist! Where's my regular **** doctor?!" Kim demanded to know. "I'm his colleague, doctor Randy Scanland," the guy informed. "Beat Pest?!" Kim asked. "More like Pete Best," the impostor doctor replied.

SAVE A CAVE FOR A SLAVE GRAVE - Ronald (before he became a McDonald) sat in the forest with hamburger-starved tourists who were the poorest. 1 day, after it rained a little, Ronald puked up a gob of spittle. It was his congested heart again that was giving him more trouble than Fred Flintstone ever caused Barney Rubble.

THE DRUNK CLOUD ABOVE ME is intoxicated with concentrated peroxide. It's a puff-ball from which I must hide.

TOMORROW ALWAYS KNOWS - I expect to die on the same day as others, people of equal weight and in similar financial straits. Once, when my father died, I had a premonition that my sexiest neighbor would be on her back porch naked after breakfast. I waited and I waited but she didn't appear. Later I learned her terrifying secret that defies the nature of human existence. More on that tomorrow.

THREE MANLY GYNECOLOGISTS SWAPPED GYNECOLOGICAL STORIES till their ***** went limp. "I like the one about the nurse who fell off the Empire State Building," one began as large fragments of his teeth fell to the floor. "You need to see a dentist," another gynecologist said, even though he was blind in both eyes and couldn't hear good either.

YOUR CRIMES AGAINST THE OLYMPICS - You started urinating before the referee blew his whistle, thereby disqualifying yourself from the urination speed trials. You 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘻𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 afterwards, brutally decapitating 4 spectators. You tested positive for 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘺 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦. Five witnesses to your 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 are missing, presumed decapitated.

BLINDED BY PITY - I've always wanted to be popular with cave people, especially blind ones. There are caves behind my house that are empty. I want to fill them with blind people. They don't need lights at night because of blindness. Some blind people are okay, others are really stuck on themselves. I saw a blind person yesterday, but he didn't see me because he's blind.

YOU STOLE MY HEART and you wouldn't give it back even after my sister pointed a gun at you.

BOWIE'S LOST LIVER - Give me David Bowie's liver or else! I can't do that! Why not?! It was cremated with the rest of him! Why would anyone do such a thing?! Because he kept company with weirdoes who didn't know the value of a malignant liver! ******* wankers!