Today I went to my control panel and I uninstalled Love.

Thats right, I clicked add/remove programs, I clicked Love, I clicked uninstall.

But you know how it works, it didn't all get removed. Some "user files" got left behind and I'm supposed to remove them myself but I can't find where they're kept. I can find "the day you met me at the airport" with nooooo problem whatsoever. But I can't get rid of it because I don't know where its kept. So it haunts me. Same goes for "the closet" and "the mirror". Instant recollection. That used to be huge, that used to remind me that it was real and not just some dream I'd had.

But now its torture.

I though if I uninstalled Love then it would take all that with it and it would stop hurting.

But it didn't

and it hasn't

I should have uninstalled Love years ago when it wasn't being used and it just sat there doing nothing. It wasn't taking up any resources, it wasn't interfering with anything or slowing things down.

But then you came along.

And it sprung into action. Suddenly it consumed everything, it was running all the time and sure it slowed things down a little and sure some stuff didn't get done but it felt good. It felt so good. Every day felt like the first day of Spring and every night was spent dreaming of lying in your arms and it felt great.

But then the network crashed

the connection got broken

and while Love kept running it started to cause problems, its ground everything to a halt. It became like one of those viruses that just slowly chips away at your resources over time until you got nothing left.

After a few months and numerous attempts to get the connection back I finally admitted defeat and accepted things were over. And it hurt so much, too much.

So now I have no use for Love. Sure its nice when it runs ok but it crashes, every time it crashes. And I dont need that kind of hurt again.

So its gone.

Removed.

Uninstalled.

All I gotta do now is remove the fragments left behind.

And I'm pretty sure if I install enough Johnnie Walker I can flush those right out.

Admit your defeat
relinquish your will and depart from the weapons you held against me
no amending
no treaty or a political stunt to get you back in office or my cubical
I'd rather commit career suicide
but, you've lost
and I will accept your resignation except you expect a pardon
that is *******,
yet hilarious
your building is up for sale in my life
and compared to your surrender is air:
Unbreakable

This morning, I uninstalled (BBM) BlackBerry Messenger
And to me, that was an eye-opener
I remember few years back,
It was the most sought-after

(At least, in the country I was at the time)
You were highly regarded if you carried a BlackBerry phone,
Even if it wasn't your own
At most, every 10 minutes you would hear the PING tone

The news carried guys who committed all sorts of crime to buy a BlackBerry phone
I heard of girls who sold their bodies for the same thing
I'm sure, when they look back at those days
They won't be proud of what once made them "fly"

The lessons for me are...
Things don't last forever
Whatever it is you can't reach legitimately,
Let it go and let it come organically

Do all you can while you can
Because time and season changes
When the season is favourable for you,
Do not step on toes and
Do not burn bridges, it could transport some help at a later time!

Defeated in depression
In your lonely little life
Trapped within a world of others
Since the one you knew is rife
With inequality, injustice
Inconvenient truth denies
And weaponized disinformation states
Of lies and data spies
Now analyze the Analytica
Chlamydia contagion
Viral marketing campaigning
Stagnant wage a war
Sensation
Burning Californication
To diffuse the situation
At the border firewall
Just spark another conflagration
Global changes uninstalled
But still enthralled are the spectators
Haters waiting on a savior
To deliver Hunger Games
And ever in their favor wager
That a litany of killing spree
Appeases free for all to see
And that the guilty party be
News feeding, eating your I.D.
Until the next, same old reboot
Loots pockets like colluding suits
And muted destitutes
Excuse the Pruitt's crude pollutants
When it's Houston under water
Flint still sippin' on the squalor
Slaughter stains our hands in Yemen
Where the kids are cannon-fodder
But your daughters and your sons
Are safe
Your belly's full
You're not displaced
So waste each waking second
On your daily fake intake
You're only making the stakeholders'
Promise
Easier to break

Well, this is now almost a year
that i'm stuck here
install and uninstalled.

I can't wake up every morning
and feels heartbreak.
it's just no fair

The moment that you play guitar,
is how i surrender
to the fact that i can't lie to myself no more

The moment that i look at you
and you fret
is complicit madness, comic of despair
falls through midnight sky
where those poetic stars are shining so awkwardly

"What a waste i could have been your lover
What a waste i could have been your friend"

Danger,
something is telling i can't be your friend.

I'll be right here no matter how hard i reject and plow myself out
I'll be right here if you could just feel warmth beneath and heaten some joy.
I'll be right here to make sure that flowers could bloom for you, and all ecology of caring is all yours.
I'll be right here looking at your still picture, an evidence of how unrequited love is required since no one cares.
I'll be right here staring in a distance because you wouldn't allow me to get so near.
I'll be right here

And i'll be gone.