Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Cry Sebastian Dec 2010
There was a snail (named Dale)
with a very long tail
who ventured off into the world.
He said to himself
(Dale the snail)
I'd love to meet a bootiful goil.

So in a flash from space,
with mucus running down her face,
came an alien creature called Joan,
She saw a silver line
(it was a snail trail)
and followed it to see where it goes.

And far in ...the distance
she saw in an instance
at the end of the snail trail sparkling in the sun-
A slimy and sweet
creature she'd love to meet
with a shell on his back for a home.

She said:"I do declare,
you look dashing and fair"
as bubbles oozed from her eyes.
Dale just blushed,
as his face lit up,
and said: "aw you're just saying that you sassy young blob of an alien gawjus sweet thing with no hair :)"

She looked at this tiny dream of a slobber,
he was in awe at her globber.
But their hearts sank at their difference in size.
She was glandular large
like a bright yellow barge
and he was as small as a splarge.

A stick insect saw -
the tragedy of it all
and came up with a very cunning plan.
He knew a wizard once
who ate snails for lunch,
they could trick him to changing her small...

As he told them the tale,
their faces went pale
but their love was too strong for the fear.
So they  slithered and shlozzered
to Joan's flying saucer
to find the castle of Wizzy the ****.

The wizard was waiting
with his eyes full of hating
and a knife and a fork in each hand.
There was garlic and salt
that he took from his vault
and he drooled on his beard as he sang:

"Alien Shpeegle
with shnails in shmeegle,
a delightful shurprishe for a man!
Groggy my groach
with shome shlime on my toasht"
and he pranced and danced with his band.

The spacecraft landed,
unexpectant of ambush,
the couple wanderd on in.
Wizzy swung from a rafter
and trapped Dale in a corner,
and said: "My you'll go well with my Shtew!"

Joan got mad
and rolled on to her lad
and ****** the wizard into her goo.
She suddenly felt all tingly
as she turned into a twinky,
there was nothing more she could do.

The Wizard escaped
and poor Dale met his fate,
and was smeared on the twinky sliced in two.
Wizzy gobbled them up
with some glee in his cup,
and then succumbed to food poisoning goo.

So it seemed that it ended
on that dark cold September,
for the lovers who's loving was doomed...
But on a planet far away
at the early break of day
two souls bubbled in primordial stew.

An amoeba named Dale
and an amoeba named Joan
were floating in bubbles of gas,
So deep the attraction
-the magnetized action,
they could now be together at last. 
Allen Robinson Jul 2016
Possessing no real
nutritional value
of substance
we are still in deep
like with you
You little golden
spongy log of cream
filled cake named
TWINKY
we still like you
s  e  c  r  e  t  l  y
You may reside
at the bottom of
the grocery cart
well hidden from
judgmental eyes
A nostalgic cheat
of sorts which
comforts our souls
Some have deep fried
you, covered you
chocolate and flavored
you and yet the nothing
compares to stuffing
making you a two bite
treat revealing the filled
center of goodness
Once in a decade I may
revisit you as a reminder
and still you never change
Still need that cold milk
to take you down.
At goodwill Buy the Pound
every day is black friday
Hundreds of soccer moms line up their
white sneakers on a black and yellow caution tape line
zombie over it streching for yu-gi-oh cards
wait for hazmat suits to wheel out eight bins full of trash gone treasure.
When the bins are locked in place the hazmat suits go back to pack another load

The air horn sounds.
You do not want to be anywhere near that caution tape line when this happens.
At goodwill buy the pound
If you're not part of the fight,
you're part of the floor.
They need to find their
puzzle peices lost in cat liter
Johnny really needs
every single nerf dart
DID YOU TAKE A NERF DART?!
WE TALKED ABOUT THIS JO-ANN
THOSE WERE FOR JOHNNY.
Johnnys grandma is not the only elder throwing elbows
varacose veins are curb stomping dads hauling consoles to make a quick buck
Skinny College aged video game collectors swim through the mom-pocalypse
raid the stashes for disguarded NES cartridges
Jo-ann grabs a twinky boy by the black graphic hoodie.
Tosses him back into the horde
lunges for a barbie doll hidden under some wires.
This is not a place for nice children.
If you aren't willing to push around some nanas
you will leave covered in nike prints.
This place turns people.
Ever look at someones mom and think
She looks like she's always wearing a mask.
She is!
Buy the pound is her natural habitat.
One grandma keeps so many cats, her living room is a Petrie dish
I think she just wants to be in charge of a small third world countrey.
Granny needs to go rally up the soccer moms at buy the pound.
To lead those cats into a mother thirfting revolution
These woman leave feeling like they saved their family a fortune
Dumpster diving for sport.
Every tossed or trampled stranger
One flip flop closer to
feeding their children
clawing through poverty

When that airhorn sounds again.
They scurry back to their carts.
Tell their children
"Make sure nobody steals this"
as they line back up in haste.
Touch their all white nikes to the caution tape line.
Hold their family close like brass knuckles.
when that airhorn sounds.
It's time to fight.
Belle Nov 2017
why is everyone assuming im so good
"im so glad youre doing well"
"you seem so happy!"
"oh this is great that you are doing so much better."
but i am not
i am crying in grocery stores
and running because i ate a twinky
i am crumbling
i am not okay
this is not okay
Rachel Oct 2013
His rooms is horribly boreing,
Pyscho if you ask me,
But what if we shifted points,
Id take the highest ground,
If only I could girls.
He has a boy,
One of those tall,
Tattooed voodoo doll
of a man, I wish,
Oh I wish there comes a day,
What a day it would be.
What happens now,
I probably do something about it.
Id probably sing the blues,
All over again until
The hang over you gave me goes away.
Hover, stick around to know that I am not
your sweet cakes, im not no honey bun twinky
love sunshine palm tree,
******* if you wanted to know
what I knew.  His hund drew the window down,
The car smelt like a boat,
Could of been,
My name is mary tonite,
Hes henry, the worst possible name,
It had to be henry,
Henry jesus, henry,
Big foot henry.  
Kept a steady speed all nite,
He didnt try anything funny,
But he could of made a move.
The results,
Call the winner for her turkey shoot price.
He started getting drunk,
Wow really,
The only thing stopping me from leaping
Out drunk from my body,
Was the fact that he had a beard,
Bearded turkeys,
We arrived at the gas station,
Someone had a confession to make.
I dont feel like a girl anymore.
Its ok your an independent woman.
You decide we needed a bag of ****.
The oldest friend I have agreed,
We needed ****,
Im serious,
Swirly ice cream cones at dq,
I have some on my nose, you wife it off
With a sand paper napkin, it feels like
Im addicted to boys like you,
Military, im in love with one,
This time,
Im considering what I need to do.
My friend from band is having a crisis,
Frank died with the gunmen,
Low mobility god brought,
*******, do something more creative,
Cheap, your the cheapest ******* I know.

End of part 1
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2019
. i love being (the) third party iniciative... i romance the... romance of: i do not remember... it's almost like... life... limited to having to stage, being, pulverised... became limbo-staged for my peruse of; necrophylia-esque.

the american accent...
sim
not ***
michael...
and i start "thinking"
of...
       ha ha!
       twinky!
because i came to
boor you
with an alligned
circumstance
of 'floyd....
  what?
  pwetty pick'ah piq-
toor?
oh... right...
i too hate being
reintstated
by someone not
being boxed
for a haemorrhage's
worth...
oh...
did i forget to tongue
slip the part
of licking the postage
stamp?
i did?
oh...
   well... to recompase...
'ere's my shadow...
happy
'oo 'p' eeeeee!

oh but i want,
michael...
   like...
exotica...
   ***** name...
marph... thew!
    i too was a golden
'aired
boy waiting for
a ******* hamster!
no?
not good the wait?
good...
i like a screaming
quasi suffocating
*****;
like any ukranian
ought to want...

i suspect that...
the people...
who tease...
become
the most ridicule ridden
middle-people
of a worth of
an escapade for the
worth of adventure:
they will never have...

you are...
my most...
anticipated...
feeble.

...
      and i...
squint eyed,
and...
oh so many variants....
and...
prior to a ******,
a psychology...

          to ingest a
replica feast of intelligence
for...
      ich...
   schattenkind...
ich:
     wollen zu töten...

it's when there's a narrative
readily available...
that...
   things... become...
"apparent"...
i have forgotten being
a res cogitans...
like the observation
of Kant..
i am a res per se...
with a hiccup of
an undertaking of
Berlioz...

               ich
   bin die
        dieselbe
                     blondkind
  
                                     ja...
ich heben
die ketzere'
                     zu töten
wie...
                              w'rden
               ­    z' 'eben...

i almost wish...
what if Michael
was not Matthew?

dead-end...
buying vinyl.
Foot  Rhythm ~ Feel the rhythm of my foot as I bury it up your ***.
You **** my raunchy *** 'cause you are gay from Monday through
Thursday for a full week's pay, regardless of what you playfully say
I'm in love with 48 married women who are in love with each other
because they were co-workers in a factory mixing Jiff peanut butter
with a long-handled-wooden dingus that looked like a ship's rudder
I bleed thick arterial blood profusely as fat lesbian medics leisurely
truck me to a big city V.D./A.I.D.S.-*****, public, quack hospital or
some place of some sort for some reason as old, devoted Christians
bring the pine Christmas trees in during the crucifixion of our Lord
Jesus season as it's seen that this ritual to Jehovah is 100%  pleasin'
Me love white Yankee conquerors with ****** B & ricin nerve gas
who ****** all my **** family long time ago in long-time-ago past
when it wasn't kooky to alphabetize ***** as **** A, B or **** E
Let us carry out & sally forth with de-icing an iced brake pump like
C.P.R. on ******, “Papa Adolf, for the love of Jesus God wake up!”
A warrior of 9 holy wars asks, “Who is the ****** with you fella?”
I don't know for certain but I think this *****-**** answers to Stella
as this wild Geechee ***** rat snake only babbles in coastal Gullah
These doughnuts ain't fresh! How do you know? I tasted them. And
these kitty turds ain't fresh either! How do you know that? Shut up!
Half a doughnut in to my doughnut experiment I am puking chunks
like a twinky modeling ***-pink ****** for Hungarian hunky hunks
who sail *****-ships in reverse, payin' sailors like winos pay punks
After Friday's Catholic fish-fry with our ******* dry we pray to God
a lot, to force Staples to honor the idiotic warranties that we bought
Truly, because only our richly-blue Heaven's God-on-high has ultra-
holy Biblical God's godly-god power, I seeketh graves to desecrate,
infidels to hang, virgins to de-flower, **** to fling off Eiffel's tower
The miracle of Glen Campbell? Each time I play a song by Glen Q.
Campbell my Chihuahua takes a ****. I wonder now, now that Glen
Q. Campbell has crapped out, will Chico be constipated a little bit?
5 bullets into John Lennon = big curtailment of public appearances,
hand-holding, bun-baking, Greek shipping-magnate disappearances
Hello Isabelle, my neighbor's uncle used to go to the island of Cebu
to fight in the style of Kung Fu to whip his **' ******* black & blue
To be alone & dead is sad but no sadder than a few other dead ends
that entail crappin' out among ***** who'd ripped you off as friends
I saw a film today oh goy, Prince Jesus Christ had just won the war
by Himself, without Dad's help, Jesus extirpated Haifa's rotten core
I saw a film today oh Troy, Jewish King Jesus had just won the war
by cursing grain with white blight to despoil Judea's vast food store
I saw a film today oh joy, our Divine Messiah had just won the war
by afflicting the children with pox to exterminate Judea's rural core
so as to crush the crushing penury inflicted upon the ******-*** poor
I bleed thick arterial blood profusely as fat lesbian medics leisurely
truck me to a big city V.D./A.I.D.S.-*****, public, quack hospital or
some place of some sort for some reason as old, devoted Christians
bring the pine Christmas trees in during the crucifixion of our Lord
Jesus season as it's seen that this ritual to Jehovah is 100%  pleasin'
Me love white Yankee conquerors with ****** B & ricin nerve gas
who ****** all my **** family long time ago in long-time-ago past
when it wasn't kooky to alphabetize ***** as **** A, B or **** E
Let us carry out & sally forth with de-icing an iced brake pump like
C.P.R. on ******, “Papa Adolf, for the love of Jesus God wake up!”
A warrior of 9 holy wars asks, “Who is the ****** with you fella?”
I don't know for certain but I think this *****-**** answers to Stella
as this wild Geechee ***** rat snake only babbles in coastal Gullah
These doughnuts ain't fresh! How do you know? I tasted them. And
these kitty turds ain't fresh either! How do you know that? Shut up!
Half a doughnut in to my doughnut experiment I am puking chunks
like a twinky modeling ***-pink ****** for Hungarian hunky hunks
who sail *****-ships in reverse, payin' sailors like winos pay punks
After Friday's Catholic fish-fry with our ******* dry we pray to God
a lot, to force Staples to honor the idiotic warranties that we bought
Truly, because only our richly-blue Heaven's God-on-high has ultra-
holy Biblical God's godly-god power, I seeketh graves to desecrate,
infidels to hang, virgins to de-flower, **** to fling off Eiffel's tower
The miracle of Glen Campbell? Each time I play a song by Glen Q.
Campbell my Chihuahua takes a ****. I wonder now, now that Glen
Q. Campbell has crapped out, will Chico be constipated a little bit?
5 bullets into John Lennon = big curtailment of public appearances,
hand-holding, bun-baking, Greek shipping-magnate disappearances
Hello Isabelle, my neighbor's uncle used to go to the island of Cebu
to fight in the style of Kung Fu to whip his **' ******* black & blue
To be alone & dead is sad but no sadder than a few other dead ends
that entail crappin' out among ***** who'd ripped you off as friends
Half a doughnut in to my doughnut experiment I am puking chunks
like a twinky modeling ***-pink ****** for Hungarian hunky hunks
who sail *****-ships in reverse, payin' sailors like winos pay punks
Half a doughnut in to my doughnut experiment I am puking chunks
like a twinky modeling ***-pink ****** for Hungarian hunky hunks
I bleed thick arterial blood profusely as fat lesbian medics leisurely
truck me to a big city V.D./A.I.D.S.-*****, public, quack hospital or
some place of some sort for some reason as old, devoted Christians
bring the pine Christmas trees in during the crucifixion of our Lord
Jesus season as it's seen that this ritual to Jehovah is 100%  pleasin'
Me love white Yankee conquerors with ****** B & ricin nerve gas
who ****** all my **** family long time ago in long-time-ago past
when it wasn't kooky to alphabetize ***** as **** A, B or **** E
Let us carry out & sally forth with de-icing an iced brake pump like
C.P.R. on ******, “Papa Adolf, for the love of Jesus God wake up!”
A warrior of 9 holy wars asks, “Who is the ****** with you fella?”
I don't know for certain but I think this *****-**** answers to Stella
as this wild Geechee ***** rat snake only babbles in coastal Gullah
These doughnuts ain't fresh! How do you know? I tasted them. And
these kitty turds ain't fresh either! How do you know that? Shut up!
Half a doughnut in to my doughnut experiment I am puking chunks
like a twinky modeling ***-pink ****** for Hungarian hunky hunks
who sail *****-ships in reverse, payin' sailors like winos pay punks
After Friday's Catholic fish-fry with our ******* dry we pray to God
a lot, to force Staples to honor the idiotic warranties that we bought
Truly, because only our richly-blue Heaven's God-on-high has ultra-
holy Biblical God's godly-god power, I seeketh graves to desecrate,
infidels to hang, virgins to de-flower, **** to fling off Eiffel's tower
The miracle of Glen Campbell? Each time I play a song by Glen Q.
Campbell my Chihuahua takes a ****. I wonder now, now that Glen
Q. Campbell has crapped out, will Chico be constipated a little bit?
5 bullets into John Lennon = big curtailment of public appearances,
hand-holding, bun-baking, Greek shipping-magnate disappearances
Hello Isabelle, my neighbor's uncle used to go to the island of Cebu
to fight in the style of Kung Fu to whip his **' ******* black & blue
To be alone & dead is sad but no sadder than a few other dead ends
that entail crappin' out among ***** who'd ripped you off as friends

— The End —