“Divide it among nobody!”
they say,
“Share it with the numbers!
Feed it to the armies that await!
Don’t let the dead starve in their graves-
For they hunger and thirst most of all.
Let the water grace their lips!
Let the it splash upon the despised desert
that once was a field full of flowers.
Let food fill the stomach with a stormful sea!
Let their harbor rest in peace!
For they hunger like a haggard man holding on for hope.
Let them take a breathe and exhale it.
Let their lungs fill with life so they can shout and sing!
Let their brains buzz and be, so ours no longer must!
-For only they have the notes and the lyrics to sing what once was dear!
For they only can sing the long forgotten years!
Let us not forget their voices in vain!”
they shout,
“why should we let their bare bones be satisfied in their somber slumber?
For they only are in alive in a memory,
Only awake in one’s sleep-
And even those shall cease to be!”
They say,
“Please listen to our candid pleas.
We speak for those who do not speak.
Their whispers only leave a faint trace of beguile on a painted cheek
that grow quieter and quieter still.
For they wish to be more than teachers
whose mistakes and triumphs are showcased for all to see.
They wish to be more than di’en.
They wish to be alive like you and me.”

They were wrong.

Like the calm before the storm
Like the calm before your sleep
Until the nightmares come
like the waves on a stormful sea
They pull you in without consent
Hooking you with razor-like fingers
You are forced to fully submerge
as the waves pummel you over and over
Just before You are about to drown
You are spit out

after the waves have left your bones bruised
after the waves have left your and skin scarred
a second of relief and a moment of breath
then the waves come again and again without the mercy to let you take a single breath.

Of course
You fight
Like a fish struggling for water
The waves become harder and harder still
Relentless in their beating of you
Their destroying of your Heart
So that you can no longer call it yours
But it’s still beating

Sometimes you begin to think
Maybe if you drown
Maybe you'll wake up
You can't call out for help
your lungs are full of water
Kicking and thrashing only does so much
You can't win because the waves are so much stronger
You can’t see a way out
The sky is devoid of light or signs of life
There is no lifeguard on the shore to see
There is no innocent bystander to call for
There is nothing
There is a void of empty where there should be something
Should be something
Other than the waves and you
And your heart that is no longer yours
But is still beating

All You can do is watch as you drown
From a first person perspective
Watch your body be shattered and ripped to pieces
Underneath each and every wave

But through it all
The only thing you are sure of:
You are drowning miles away from an ocean
But your tears do taste like the spray