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"pickled" poems
it was a dark dance of an immovable body as she was taken by the throat, death, causing stupendous distortions and entrancements of lunar landscapes she reeled pirouettes between smothering and seeing through a miraculous inner eye deepening her sense of nothingness as if pickled in a jar,  suspended in formaldehyde held buoyant where there is no reason for anything moveless in a veiled corridor inhabiting innerness, a raven fog her ******* wet with the scent of fear and *** she fell through the earth into the infernal arms of Hades his tremulous kisses a thousand glittering eyes she could see through
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Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 10:35 AM UTC
Persephone
She was born of a forest And rests her heart   Shallow in pooled dreams Dripping further than her tears Falling to soft earth. She eats rosed lilies And pickled cattails All while Her footsteps leave no absence known As her lithe nymph body melts into foliage. And her arms permanently reach Into the void of All unknowable things. Grasping at gossamer threads, Like thoughts that can't be spun together.
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Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 1:07 PM UTC
I Saw Her
Every couple 'a years or so Our family reunites It takes a couple 'a years or so To recover from the fights A family like our'n Doesn't party like most do Ours gets a little out of hand That's why we have so few It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball There's daisy dukes and forty Lukes They're racing trucks and burning rubber There's jugs of moonshine everywhere And at least a hundred bubbas There's a smoker fired for the food the size of two large trucks It hold 4 cows, and fourteen pigs And at least a hundred ducks It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball There's pickled this and pickled that And things you just can't swallow That used to live down in the swamp Way back there in the hollow There's at least ten shotgun weddings there And the groom might be rail roaded But, the wedding isn't legal If the shotgun isn't loaded It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball There's greased up pigs and muddy runts And at least ten bobby sues and when they all get greased up You can't tell which is who There's horseshoe pits for tossing shoes And games of every sort Most of them aren't legal And would get you into court It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball But, it's the way we like it Drinking shine and acting out Tossing things that aren't tied down And wrassling about There's music there of just one kind It's country and that matters Any other sort of sound Sets the crowd off like mad hatters It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball There's always someone who's so drunk And it's normally the preacher Last year we married him off To the back up first grade teacher There's Chevy trucks of every kind And one covered in sod Mary Lou showed her tattoo "Jeff Foxworthy is my God" It's the best time of the year for us And it's sad when it must end but, you gotta haul your *** away When the cops come round that bend It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball
0
Jul 23, 2013
Jul 23, 2013 at 12:01 AM UTC
Redneck Family Reunion
Every couple 'a years or so Our family reunites It takes a couple 'a years or so To recover from the fights A family like our'n Doesn't party like most do Ours gets a little out of hand That's why we have so few It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball There's daisy dukes and forty Lukes They're racing trucks and burning rubber There's jugs of moonshine everywhere And at least a hundred bubbas There's a smoker fired for the food the size of two large trucks It hold 4 cows, and fourteen pigs And at least a hundred ducks It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball There's pickled this and pickled that And things you just can't swallow That used to live down in the swamp Way back there in the hollow There's at least ten shotgun weddings there And the groom might be rail roaded But, the wedding isn't legal If the shotgun isn't loaded It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball There's greased up pigs and muddy runts And at least ten bobby sues and when they all get greased up You can't tell which is who There's horseshoe pits for tossing shoes And games of every sort Most of them aren't legal And would get you into court It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball But, it's the way we like it Drinking shine and acting out Tossing things that aren't tied down And wrassling about There's music there of just one kind It's country and that matters Any other sort of sound Sets the crowd off like mad hatters It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball There's always someone who's so drunk And it's normally the preacher Last year we married him off To the back up first grade teacher There's Chevy trucks of every kind And one covered in sod Mary Lou showed her tattoo "Jeff Foxworthy is my God" It's the best time of the year for us And it's sad when it must end but, you gotta haul your *** away When the cops come round that bend It's a redneck family reunion everybody has a grand old time eating grandma's cooking and drinking grandpas shine You never go home hungry If you make it home at all You go home bruised and battered And you surely had a ball
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100
There's a Russian fairytale of snowdrops in January a girl meeting the twelve seasons in human form who lead her in the middle of winter to where snowdrops grow I never thought once that I'd live in a land where snowdrops grow in February rather than in April & where the snowy winter has become a memory & where in my childhood we weren't able to buy sauerkraut & pickled gherkins done the way we liked yet which now has become more international & where people smile & say ' sorry' to you politely if you tread on their feet as if their feet were the problem & where time is measured by the Big Ben & Greenwich instead of by the Kremlin & it always rains in summer but there are rarely any thunderstorms & people holiday in places like Majorca & Benidorm if they're working class & France, if they're middle class & where I went to a public ( private) girls' school & wore a red uniform & sang the hymn ' Jerusalem' believing in this green & pleasant land with all my heart until I left & came back again, this time, an adult, a European living through the British recession & shocked at the newly hostile attitude to migrants yet even now when I see those snowdrops in February my heart soars & I'm back living a fairytale a child in wonder just as before
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Aug 14, 2015
Aug 14, 2015 at 8:51 AM UTC
Snowdrops
The Peppered Pickle Clown (Peppered Pickle Day) This is a story you may not know And it's banned in pickle town It's about a peppered pickle That became a circus clown He started out his short life Looking through a stained glass jar Watching his sweet pickled brother Become a kosher star Although his peppered pickled life was sweet This peppered pickle wanted more He would join the circus as a clown And be a smash that fans adored At first it started slowly No fans would call his name But a peppered pickle as a clown Well thats funny just the same As time went on he made them laugh They started yelling for him more Then a show was given just to him And a peppered pickle day was born All the fans they ordered pickles On peppered pickles they would gorge Then one day there came a time When peppered pickles they ran short The peppered pickle clown knew right then That it was time to make his mark So he made a deal with Vlasic corp. To put peppered pickles in their jars Well Vlasic corp. invited him To come take a private tour They said that he would relish it And be a cut up in the stores They put the peppered pickle clown In a clown chair and tied him down They said it was for safety As the belt showed him all around The belt went slow when starting out Picked up speed as it went along The peppered pickle clown was sliced and diced Vlasic didn't clown around So remember the peppered pickle clown When you shop at your home store He gave his life for stardom And thats why you now pay more Today is peppered pickle day And should be known the world around Made famous by a sweet delight The peppered pickle clown Carl J. Roberts
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Oct 7, 2013
Oct 7, 2013 at 7:14 AM UTC
Thank The Peppered Pickle Clown...... ( Peppered Pickle Day)
The Peppered Pickle Clown (Peppered Pickle Day) This is a story you may not know And it's banned in pickle town It's about a peppered pickle That became a circus clown He started out his short life Looking through a stained glass jar Watching his sweet pickled brother Become a kosher star Although his peppered pickled life was sweet This peppered pickle wanted more He would join the circus as a clown And be a smash that fans adored At first it started slowly No fans would call his name But a peppered pickle as a clown Well thats funny just the same As time went on he made them laugh They started yelling for him more Then a show was given just to him And a peppered pickle day was born All the fans they ordered pickles On peppered pickles they would gorge Then one day there came a time When peppered pickles they ran short The peppered pickle clown knew right then That it was time to make his mark So he made a deal with Vlasic corp. To put peppered pickles in their jars Well Vlasic corp. invited him To come take a private tour They said that he would relish it And be a cut up in the stores They put the peppered pickle clown In a clown chair and tied him down They said it was for safety As the belt showed him all around The belt went slow when starting out Picked up speed as it went along The peppered pickle clown was sliced and diced Vlasic didn't clown around So remember the peppered pickle clown When you shop at your home store He gave his life for stardom And thats why you now pay more Today is peppered pickle day And should be known the world around Made famous by a sweet delight The peppered pickle clown Carl J. Roberts
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51
Begot Intentions can impurify Unsolicited Charity does attempt Even much as a Pickled Song can try Bites back at you; And bills you for Contempt What now the Rage of Imperial Process Punishes the Dreader to stock and refill? Nowadays you stick to perform your Best Later on you sit by the Window-Sill Still, check this Stubborn Loyalty in me Then decide if Ignorance you forgot My Words mean Truth; Even if Force-Believe Just to show your Radio, the Model-Lot. Still Deaf, eh? Even when the Snake has cast, Flashing films on such scales you know will pass.
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Mar 12, 2013
Mar 12, 2013 at 2:59 AM UTC
SONNET TRIBUTE SUNDRY - FIFTY-EIGHT - TOM DALEY
Ah! You're already here I've been waiting dear This you have to hear It's somethin' to adhere It's tongues dried and lungs fried Not other way around And I don't refund So let's get down to what you want The tastes I own; the ones you'll flaunt Cracked bones and hacked jaws Charred toes and bottled gore From pickled hearts to private parts Just say the name, I've got it all Just take your time and think it through And when it's right I'll come find you It's been a while Did you decide? Just ditch your pride and speak your mind So it's 'crispy skin'? 'kay, I'll let you in Let's taste your kin Yes, it's not a sin
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Nov 22, 2020
Nov 22, 2020 at 12:28 PM UTC
~Acquired tastes~
i am choking for words. i hacked off the tip of my tongue to spite my quick wit- stumble over it. lusting for beauty through text/ creation is hollow at best- a dollhouse a fantasy, dystopian as per usual for an idle mind losing hours and pickled in hate's brine.    salt in the wound    salt in the wound angst, angst, teenage angst. a kiddie anarchist. stop fighting it. turn up the stereotypical. depression playing on the radio. don't try to be more original. what haven't we seen? choking for words and stuck on painted portraits all is well, but never exciting i'm exiting this uneventful existence all for once and once for all. -and you thought there was a winner buried in this chrysalis- well, the rhythm has returned, but i'm sick of painted portraits and lost hours and sugar-coated expectations of the truth how uneventful, how unexciting and i'm tired of razorblades, but at least they're honest speaking down, insults and lies and i know i need to sleep but i'm fighting it. i'm ready to move on, but not for long not for long and you'll see me as a butterfly someday.
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Jan 14, 2013
Jan 14, 2013 at 4:19 AM UTC
déjà vu
but you are smooth in full regalia reptilian in your lounge suit your westchester upbringing shows in your brooks brothers snake skin boots so she knows your from old school money and plants a perfumed eye on your rear end it sticks there like sweaty glue every inch of her polished skin fermented at great expense and you thought suntans were hard to pay off try having the ***** pickled in whiskey but the divorce would leave you a destitute sideshow on rodeo drive with nothing but your mansion and your jag standing between you and the unwashed masses so you make her slap on another layer of makeup you drop another crotch rocket happy hardness pill and slip a few more bucks over the border to Switzerland and drop a quick prayer to the twin god of Morgan and Stanley that the market holds for one more day lounge lizard pushing seventy with a twenty two year old ****** on one arm and the keys to the rolls clutched in your liver spotted hand your ready for anything you may be king of the florida keys but gotta respect the cash flow if what your pointless poison bites off your **** more than goes into your mouth then ya gotta wonder kiddo if moving back to the homestead in Spuyten Duyvil might be better than lettin lifestyle carjack your life that twenty two year old ***** you got poured all over your lap has more spider in her than girlish charm shes a train wreck waiting to happen ill get ya to the border safe and sound don't 'cha worry bout that have you headed north fore they even know your gone may be the king of the florida keys but it high time we get ya back to brooklyn fore they bury you down here
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Sep 27, 2013
Sep 27, 2013 at 5:47 PM UTC
lounge lizard
but you are smooth in full regalia reptilian in your lounge suit your westchester upbringing shows in your brooks brothers snake skin boots so she knows your from old school money and plants a perfumed eye on your rear end it sticks there like sweaty glue every inch of her polished skin fermented at great expense and you thought suntans were hard to pay off try having the ***** pickled in whiskey but the divorce would leave you a destitute sideshow on rodeo drive with nothing but your mansion and your jag standing between you and the unwashed masses so you make her slap on another layer of makeup you drop another crotch rocket happy hardness pill and slip a few more bucks over the border to Switzerland and drop a quick prayer to the twin god of Morgan and Stanley that the market holds for one more day lounge lizard pushing seventy with a twenty two year old ****** on one arm and the keys to the rolls clutched in your liver spotted hand your ready for anything you may be king of the florida keys but gotta respect the cash flow if what your pointless poison bites off your **** more than goes into your mouth then ya gotta wonder kiddo if moving back to the homestead in Spuyten Duyvil might be better than lettin lifestyle carjack your life that twenty two year old ***** you got poured all over your lap has more spider in her than girlish charm shes a train wreck waiting to happen ill get ya to the border safe and sound don't 'cha worry bout that have you headed north fore they even know your gone may be the king of the florida keys but it high time we get ya back to brooklyn fore they bury you down here
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45
There was an old man of Blackheath, Whose head was adorned with a wreath, Of lobsters and spice, Pickled onions and mice, That uncommon old man of Blackheath.
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3.9k
There Was An Old Man Of Blackheath
I. I'm a growing polliwog, not a butterfly-- pickled legs hang off of my fish body and gills close off so rapidly. A minute ago I could caress the water and make oxygen bubble in my throat. Now beating, pulsing lungs intrude like pink bubble gum ready to pop. What a sadistic word, oxygen. II. After a little nap in a sleeping bag butterflies are monarchs, stained glass fluttering perfection, symbols of luck, symbols of beauty, Their wired bodies are scribbled together like starving supermodels. III. And my seams are !slowly!   pinching themselves open, a la Frankenstein. I want to think these body parts are mine: A tentative nose, very green pointillism eyes with lashes like brittle grass or bent nails, These white playdough thighs, and stretchmarks like remnants of lace chewed up by my insane canine. Pink. Dainty and tangled on my legs, I think they look like jet-streams lit by sunset.
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Mar 4, 2012
Mar 4, 2012 at 9:39 PM UTC
Metamorphosis
My limbs pinned and flayed. A curious crowd of men hover overhead, Floating faces bobbing closely Like great bearded balloons. In a flash of white and sharply gleaming silver, They swiftly strip my leather skin And, upon prying the cage, are astounded to have found Only a cavity in the place a heart should be. Throughout my warren of vein sits the last true proof That anything once flowed there— A thickly pickled ichor to make sickened Wives’ stomachs turn at their evening roast.
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Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 5:00 PM UTC
I Am a Fetal Pig
They sit like the curve of a parabola facing in. Though they do not see each other. He sees only himself amidst the gore and rot which once passed as a picnic lunch. Pickled spines and curried thought processes to name but a few of the delectables today. In he reaches, grabbing handfuls of cured flesh, and not leaving any time for chewing. The yellow fog is syrup and makes him heavy-headed. The trees are old men, curved backs and withered from living. They only want a kind ear to hear their untold stories of life, love and death. Glutton wants food. he guzzles and guzzles and never listens to those who want him to listen. So he eats, they cry, they die and they are all alone together.
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Jun 7, 2011
Jun 7, 2011 at 4:59 PM UTC
The Picnic
I dream of rigged lacrosse matches won in 4th quarter overtime of chess games won with en passant (what exactly is that?) of horses falling at the first hurdle. I dream of Martian landscapes through sand-dunes of heartache because as a child, at McDonalds I was never allowed a milk shake, while in my waking hours I have absolved a multitude of sins for lapsed nuns, ringmasters and troubadours. I have filmed riots, marathons and abortions. I have seen things pickled in jars holding open heavy doors. I have tried, like an idiot to commit all this to memory.
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Dec 31, 2012
Dec 31, 2012 at 2:15 PM UTC
I have tried to remember to much
Your Clouds, judged be it pickled or disdain Have mostly trained your canaries to think Whether to ruffle more Feathers; Then feign Those Truest Notes dipped; And begroom your Mink For who could solve what your Tampered Mind spies Then translates such Harvest for a Desert To Good Sense cheer; From Truth becomes a Lie With Random Calls ring your Body to advert And whilst you do, any Cause to forget Those Taped Pioneers who endured your Phase Pray for your Interview; And chance to beget Which Startled Sweets was the Sweetest at base. Yet still Occupied to that Video owned Belittle what Possum's Cry now reknowned.
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Mar 13, 2013
Mar 13, 2013 at 2:38 AM UTC
SONNET TRIBUTE SUNDRY - SEVENTY-SEVEN - TOM DALEY
The 7 wonders of the world Is quite a sight to see But it don't compare to what we have In the hills of Tennessee Uncle Zebs cow is a big ole thing Quite a sight to behold That cow's so big that when they milk her Her udders even have to unfold Cousin Zeke has a six-legged mule And man that thing is fast One time he raced a bobcat And the bobcat finished last My granny's teeth are made of wood Of course, they were bought from a store But ever since that termite season She don't use them much no more Aunt Imojean has a twine collection That she started when she was three I guess if we unwound that thing It'd reach clear 'cross Tennessee Cousin Jake has a rattlesnake He pickled and stuffed in a jar He caught that thing a year ago Trying to run off with his car Uncle Randolph has this chicken Who howls and barks at the moon That poor chicken is so dadgum old That she has to be fed with a spoon Uncle Sam has the seventh wonder An invisible moonshine still We ain't seen it since he made it But it's somewhere on that hill So, after you think you've seen it all You haven't seen anything yet Come to the hills of Tennessee And see things you'll never forget
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Oct 8, 2010
Oct 8, 2010 at 9:07 PM UTC
Hillbilly 7 Wonders
A Pickle is Many Things A Kosher Dill, A Gherkin You can Pickle Beets and You can pickle pigs feet Pickles for Bread and Butter Sweet Pickles Canned by Mother Pickled Herring can be found or Pickled Eggs that are so round A Pickle's a fine thing to be But...don't get yourself in a Pickle All the Work here is licensed under the Name ®SilverSilkenTongue and the © Property of J.Flack
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Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015 at 11:42 AM UTC
Pickle
There was an old man, I once knew Peaches was the name he used He was the drunk, set on our trunk his body old and abused Sharing his beer with an old horse who caroused in the end stall Each day by three, they'd walk by me and stumble but never fall His liver was a lace doily alcohol pickled him thin He'd been turned down, all over town no one ever took him in He drank his beer with ole Nellie she could tip a bottle too Swig and sway, like Don Quixote as they staggered, swirling, brew We were headed for the races this blustery afternoon Each planned the trip, we had to ship I knew we'd be leaving soon From where we trained at the fairground we carted them to the track Where all would race, and take what place each earned in front or in back Peaches rode in back of the truck so he could drink the whole way My uncle said, he'd soon be dead drinking had seen his decay We sat apart from others there he and I were best of pals He'd tell me tales, of life’s travails while I ogled all the gals That day he shared a sordid tale of pain he caused his own son He had shouldered blame, bore the shame for this thing that he had done Back when he was just a young man a pillar of support He took his boy, his life’s great joy to play their favorite sport They went to a picnic that day he had drank one too many On the way, to watch his son play of fears he hadn't any His boy was riding in the back not thinking they skipped the seat belt He'd rolled his car, the door ajar surprise was all he had felt His boy was tossed out in a field sweet clover of timothy The child's light hair, seen lying there remembered so vividly "I was a Veterinarian" said Peaches to my surprise "I went insane, called out in vain but God never heard my cries" "So now I ride where I belong In back of my self-made bar Hoping he, will come to take me by tossing me from the car" Just then a tear fell from his cheek the pain enveloped me too Here cried a man, much deeper than any of us ever knew Tate
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May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014 at 2:12 PM UTC
Peaches
There was an old man, I once knew Peaches was the name he used He was the drunk, set on our trunk his body old and abused Sharing his beer with an old horse who caroused in the end stall Each day by three, they'd walk by me and stumble but never fall His liver was a lace doily alcohol pickled him thin He'd been turned down, all over town no one ever took him in He drank his beer with ole Nellie she could tip a bottle too Swig and sway, like Don Quixote as they staggered, swirling, brew We were headed for the races this blustery afternoon Each planned the trip, we had to ship I knew we'd be leaving soon From where we trained at the fairground we carted them to the track Where all would race, and take what place each earned in front or in back Peaches rode in back of the truck so he could drink the whole way My uncle said, he'd soon be dead drinking had seen his decay We sat apart from others there he and I were best of pals He'd tell me tales, of life’s travails while I ogled all the gals That day he shared a sordid tale of pain he caused his own son He had shouldered blame, bore the shame for this thing that he had done Back when he was just a young man a pillar of support He took his boy, his life’s great joy to play their favorite sport They went to a picnic that day he had drank one too many On the way, to watch his son play of fears he hadn't any His boy was riding in the back not thinking they skipped the seat belt He'd rolled his car, the door ajar surprise was all he had felt His boy was tossed out in a field sweet clover of timothy The child's light hair, seen lying there remembered so vividly "I was a Veterinarian" said Peaches to my surprise "I went insane, called out in vain but God never heard my cries" "So now I ride where I belong In back of my self-made bar Hoping he, will come to take me by tossing me from the car" Just then a tear fell from his cheek the pain enveloped me too Here cried a man, much deeper than any of us ever knew Tate
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65
a late harvest in Brigadoon plucked from good earth by strong hands hauling uphill, until a gentle slope rewards a stiff back; easing a grateful burden that levitates famine [ bushels ] now ziggarats in a root cellar a Sumerian skyline of parsnips and rhubarb with fennel minarets where Gilgamesh slept in a pantry of pagan loot underneath a corner room at the very back of a round house. where four seasons bunk with an almanac mason jars of pickled beets breathing their own blood hanging gardens from the ceiling of the Underworld like fliers of missing children on telephone poles i go outside and wander off you stay home
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Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 2:02 AM UTC
Migrations [ Your Agoraphobia ]
Pickled on quixotic tonics he strives for a polyglot's poise, balancing plaster peas at the end of his tippler's tongue. But the rough-surfaced pearls prickle his too-ticklish bed of pink, and gulped down, he administers only a lessoned indigestion. Flipping the flop, he prevaricates himself into the tight-fit corners of a parallelogram traced by unsolemn processionals bedecked in platitudinous finery. Their porous smirks drip sticky reminders of a plethora of previously pernicious exercises and dampen his fluffy ambition, prodding procrastinations until his drunken promise dries out to become a posthumous wish.
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Apr 7, 2010
Apr 7, 2010 at 5:03 PM UTC
Pickled
An ogre set out to have a feast one day. Dreaming of all the creatures he would slay. He'd have bowls full of trolls. And fairies buttered on rolls. He'd eat hairy mountain goat coats And fattened up ducklings full of their oats. He'd chomp on legs of forest elves And pickled gnomes feet from his shelves. This fearsome young ogre planned quite well, Except for a troublesome oyster shell. It landed quite wrong deep in his gullet. And never more was heard from Ogre Trullet.
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Jun 10, 2011
Jun 10, 2011 at 4:12 PM UTC
Hungry Ogre
Lapsang Souchong two sugars n me, are owft on a charabang jaunt to the sea, with pickled egg Mary- her three pekinese, who are hairy quite scary n chopped owft at the knees, we are bringing darjeeling and Oolong along to twiddle their tootsies and fire up their ****
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Nov 2, 2012
Nov 2, 2012 at 11:42 AM UTC
"- Tiffin by the sea -"
Let me tell you a story From a time gone by The tale of a greedy butcher And a pig that could fly In the little village of Piddle Brook There lived a butcher named Mr.Ham He was bearded, bulky, and a belcher And was rumored to eat his own toe jam A lover of all meat Pork,beef,duck,chicken, and mutton All this gorger did was eat He was a professional glutton But Mr.Ham’s appetite was not satisfied He longed for some thick greasy bacon Just a few strips, nicely fried Served with pickled daikon He peeked through his window And with one beady eye Spotted his neighbors hog And pictured a flaky pork pie His mouth watered "What a delicious midnight snack!" "I will barbecue,braise and fry her" "But first I will launch my attack" "Oh but I shan’t become a thief!" "T’was only a whim!" But Mr.Ham’s thin scruples vanished His growling belly got the better of him He grabbed a pitchfork And the hefty hooligan set out He advanced on the sleeping hog And grabbed her by the snout Her piggy eyes shot open And in a flash She darted past the butcher And ran past the fence in a dash Mr.Ham bellowed in rage And waddled after the beast But the pig was too quick Yet Mr.Ham never ceased And so the chase continued A wild game of cat and mouse They ran through the streets Row upon row,house after house Finally the swine was cornered The escaped pig let out a squeal And great feathery wings sprouted from her back Said the pig “Thou shalt not steal” And with one final snort Two leaps and a hop The winged sow flew away And Mr. Ham collapsed with a plop "I suppose it was a sign from above" Mr.Ham sighed with defeat From then on the rotund carnivore Gave up on eating meat
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Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 8:18 PM UTC
Ham versus Hog
Let me tell you a story From a time gone by The tale of a greedy butcher And a pig that could fly In the little village of Piddle Brook There lived a butcher named Mr.Ham He was bearded, bulky, and a belcher And was rumored to eat his own toe jam A lover of all meat Pork,beef,duck,chicken, and mutton All this gorger did was eat He was a professional glutton But Mr.Ham’s appetite was not satisfied He longed for some thick greasy bacon Just a few strips, nicely fried Served with pickled daikon He peeked through his window And with one beady eye Spotted his neighbors hog And pictured a flaky pork pie His mouth watered "What a delicious midnight snack!" "I will barbecue,braise and fry her" "But first I will launch my attack" "Oh but I shan’t become a thief!" "T’was only a whim!" But Mr.Ham’s thin scruples vanished His growling belly got the better of him He grabbed a pitchfork And the hefty hooligan set out He advanced on the sleeping hog And grabbed her by the snout Her piggy eyes shot open And in a flash She darted past the butcher And ran past the fence in a dash Mr.Ham bellowed in rage And waddled after the beast But the pig was too quick Yet Mr.Ham never ceased And so the chase continued A wild game of cat and mouse They ran through the streets Row upon row,house after house Finally the swine was cornered The escaped pig let out a squeal And great feathery wings sprouted from her back Said the pig “Thou shalt not steal” And with one final snort Two leaps and a hop The winged sow flew away And Mr. Ham collapsed with a plop "I suppose it was a sign from above" Mr.Ham sighed with defeat From then on the rotund carnivore Gave up on eating meat
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Do not talk of the honey I pickled in your light bulbs They do not have the map to help us reach The Alps Just talk of the hungry flower growing on my lungs At least they have the address to the hut on my palms That’s drawn by the little girl who feasted on the chalks The butterflies long ago planted along in their pulse. Quick,   Incinerate the 1800s post-mortem portraits In black light's faked midnight perfumes For you are my forlorn apostrophe high on gas That might ask questions while telling us your tales Or reluctantly whisper ****** things about Laqus Who is wasting us to the wistful hell flowers.
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May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 10:47 AM UTC
m'i's'a'p'o's't'r'o'p'h'e's