"nik" poems
the inflicted hallmark love is in the air
roses
chocolates
teddy bears
stuff you can buy all year
now made important
i love this foolish holiday though
with its cute glances
and little nik-nak gifts
its cute
the inflicted hallmark love is in the air
for its valentines
Feb 9, 2012
Feb 9, 2012 at 11:22 PM UTC
"Angels can't be black, stupid" she said to me
And she said it so matter-of-factly
To the eight year old boy with a figurine
That his mother gave him, looking so kindly
And I didn't know of her words nonsensicle
But everywhere I looked, in books, store windows and tv specials
I saw that angels in serenity with floating halos
And all of them were white
So I was down, not surprisingly
Because think of how mad or sad you'd be
To find Heaven's hosts had no minorities
And that an angel could not be made of me
And angrier I became as on tears I choke
To be the **** of that little girl's joke
And to find all the words my mother spoke
Might be only lies and fairy tales
And with my head planted on my desk
The angel next to me did rest
As my teacher saw my distress
And question my obvious bitterness
I shrugged her off and her query grew
"Nik Bland, what in the world's eating you?"
And I told her what that girl and the whole world knew
About the fable of my figurine
And she listened to my childlike woes
As tears streamed down, sobs did grow
And she nodded as I said I did not know
A single place in the bible where minorities showed
A trace and she went up to the class
And spoke that, scientifically, in the past
It's been shown that the brown skinned and blacks
Were the colors of the first of the human race
So that sparked a fire within my mind
To realize that if humankind
Found a way to travel back in time
They might be seeing an ethnic Adam and Eve
And she showed me on the map the Middle East
And my heart rate slightly increased
To see it held Israel and Bethlehem, doubts then ceased
As I saw the mixed skin color of their people
And as the class pondered this, she came to me
And told me very quietly
Of her and her Christianity
And of Jesus, whose chose his mixed coloring
And with tears in her eyes, she put that angel in my hands
And to me that I must understand
That God looks past the color of the man
For He painted us all
And Christian or not, you must admittedly
Say that the world is a piece of artistry
That is incomparable to any man has in the making
And that we are all living here equally
And show we pass on, some soon than most
But with belief in Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
That eight year old boy could proudly boast
About the angel, so serene... and black
Nov 27, 2012
Nov 27, 2012 at 1:23 PM UTC
din historie rodfæster en sandhed i mig
om cigarrøg og fremmede mennesker
deres magt over kønnet og min krop
i forestillingen;
jeg mister arme
jeg ser mit kød hvordan det forsvinder
(det nemme er at falde fra)
indersiden af låret
mavens rundhed brysternes buen ansigtets rene træk
mine læber; deres måde at skille på
nu vender jeg dem altid på vrangen før jeg går ud
i alle disse berøringer
disse berøringer
i én smeltet masse af hud og hår
*
I just want you to know (jeg ser ikke længere hendes ansigt)
i minderne;
kun krop
kun krop
kun krop
*
der vokser et svigt i mig
i mine øjenvipper
når jeg græder tårer som rammer andres hudlag
diffunderer
fra væske til følelse til en berøring to mennesker imellem
vores relation er ikke andet end tag på hud
og afstumpede nik gennem bevoksede ***
*
I metroen;
altid metroen et ikke *** vi kører imod
et transportmiddel der opsluger. du kan se det i øjnene på disse ”mennesker” i ikke-rummet.
og ud på skinnerne, de drømmer, stigende over kanten. En stemme;
attention à la marche en descendant du train
og jeg retter opmærksomhed, for jeg stoler mere og mere på stemmer uden ansigter
på højtalermagt
end på alle de mennesker, jeg kender.
*
I metroen;
jeg er så træt af at være træt af hans opførsel
catcalling som fænomen, der stammer fra metroens ikke-rum
det må det gøre !
den opslugende kraft, han kan lugte den den hænger i luften,
og alle er usikre
må man gerne efterlade sit liv inden man stiger ind?
attention à ton corps et ta voix
du ved aldrig hvilket ansigt han bærer
*
det er en forventning om at være utilpas, der bor i mig.
en forventning om
at blive catcallet
at mærke fremmede mænds hænder på min krop
at iklæde mig tøj jeg tør gå alene hjem i
at sove på gulvet hos venner for at undgå natbussen
*
jeg ved godt
at ikke alt er mit eget valg
*
og jeg brækker mig i metroen i en uber på gaden i min egen opgang
og jeg skammer mig over skammen
den skam forbundet med fremmedes ord og handlinger
*
du ventede engang på boulevard Saint-Denis
og en mand spurgte dig om hvor meget du kostede for at være hans
én hel nat
og det tog mig én hel dag at forstå din tavshed overfor ham
han kan ikke gå og forvente at alle kvinder på gaden potentielt kan være hans til den rette pris
VI EJER IKKE HINANDEN
OG JEG ER TRÆT AF MIG SELV
NÅR JEG LØBER VEJEN FRA MIN METRO TIL MIN HOVEDDØR
og ånder lettet op
bag en låst dør
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 22, 2019 at 9:08 AM UTC
Hello all!
First of all, thank you all for following and liking my work enough to be reading this. If you haven't noticed, I make it my business to thank you guys for clicking that heart button.
Secondly, I just recently got hired to do an hour of poetry for an art show in my neck of the woods. The only problem is that I write so **** much...
So this is where the favor from you comes in! Please comment on this and tell me which of my poems especially touched you, made you laugh, cringe, or just made you nod your head and say, "That is so true. Happens to me a lot..."
Please comment! Help me out! Thank you mucho!
-Nik
Oct 25, 2013
Oct 25, 2013 at 11:02 AM UTC
he’s so much more than meets the eye
he’s the scars on his body and how he will tell you the story of where they came from a million times
he’s his clammy hands and the way he will hold yours against his chest and grin when you keep it there
he’s the way he brushes your hair behind your shoulder as you speak
he’s his contagious laugh and how his eyes squint at the corners or the dimples in his cheeks
he’s his tight hugs and on his really good days the way he picks you up in his grasp
he’s his adventurous nature and the way his company makes you feel alive and at home all at once
but he’s also the way he shuts you out when he hurts you because he can’t face the fact that he did
he’s he fits of jealousy and how ridiculously he can act
he’s his urge to numb himself and his hate for life because he thinks it’s so pointless
he’s his bad days where you sit on the phone reminding him that he’s worth more than he puts himself through
he’s his snap decisions where he doesn’t think of the consequences of anything he does
he’s all of this and more
he’s intelligent
kind
handsome
reckless
amusing
good hearted
passionate
he’s perfect in his own way and i was in love with him
my god, i was so in love with him
still am really
but i can’t be anymore
two years later and i have to let him go
because i still have the small hope that i might get him back
that it wasn’t all for nothing
we feel unfinished, but maybe that’s just how some things end
i know i would go back to him at the drop of a dime because he was my everything and i miss him so much my chest aches
but i suppose some people just weren’t meant to be
i never fell out of love, i just accepted he wasn’t in it anymore and let it go
so this is the last time i will write about him even though as i finish this there’s so much more i could say
we might have been a mess
complete chaos really
but he made me feel safe and loved and important
i would never be able to thank him for all he’s done for me and how he’s helped me grow
even with the **** he put me through i always forgave and defended him, or tried to, because that was my boy and i loved him
he’s the best first love i could have asked for
he’s one of my best friends
he’s one of the best people i know
and he’s going to do amazing things in life and grow to be an amazing man
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 5:45 PM UTC
about a year ago I started self harming. my good friend made me a little stuffed animal to keep close during those lonely times.
I was holding it and felt something in it. I opened it and found this note:
"dear heavenly father,
please watch over nik. let his emotional pain dissapear and his scars fade. help him to forgive himself, please.
amen"
it's honestly the nicest thing I've ever experienced.
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013 at 2:51 PM UTC
Chorus
Who's got the thing to help us all feel sound
and after all of that help us to come around
who's got the thing to keep us in the middle
in case we feel the need to get up or down
Where is this thing that can take the mind higher
and ease up on the loss of the souls' desire
burning dark memories faster than fire
where is this thing that kidnaps motivation
then drops us at an imaginary station
What is this thing that rules the low skies
while finding any reason to hypnotize
what is this thing that tries to fake surprise
and only ask questions of when's and why's
The answer lies in the now of eternity
even then some still wonder and plot
even the spies in this dark fraternity
can't get enough of what they've already got
I've seen how to keep asking why can actually **** you
along the way this thing will soothe you and thrill you
at first it would open you up and then spill you
then again in the nik of time it will fill
???
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 1:27 AM UTC
Have you ever vibed so comfortably that you ached to be in their presence?
I hung out with ***** after *****
Man after man
Boy after boy
Just to see if I could move on from a man who treated me differently
Spiritually I was broken
I'm never going to say I'm Anti- ***** but I was sure feeling a way
Then he showed up & boy is he showing out
Who told you to come into my life & be amazing?
I look at him & that's all I see
Such a positive soul
Who I don't think is completely open with me
He hasn't lied but he hasn't let me in
It's like looking into a house through giant glass windows
I see you but I need to know you
I want to know all of him
I try to be honest with myself & I try not to get my hopes up
I know about me & disappointment
We don't work well
My brain spins with this every day
But when he is in my face
I just need him to touch me
Fill my soul with the light of his vibe
& maybe, also **** me
I need that personal intimacy
I sometimes yearned to be wanted
That's the submissive side of me..
That freaky, scary, hidden side
That side of me that wants a fairy tale
I wish to be wanted. Cherished. Loved.
Pin me against the wall & **** me like a stranger but let's get dinner after & maybe watch some soaps
I am also a realist
My soul is so old
My years will never catch up
So I spend my time trapped trying to play catch up
I'm learning to manage money better
I have goals to move
I want to eat better. Look better. Feel better
I want to be better for myself
But now that I've caught this frequency
I think I like it a bit too much
But I am going to ride it as long as I can
Little NIK, you carchbheart eyes so fast but is this different?
I understand the love of a challenge but be honest with me
Everything sends a vibration
From the rough scratch of his working hands on my thighs
Our tilted kisses so we don't bump noses
My lips covering his... as full as they are
The feel of his healthy beard which always smells nice
Especially when coming from between my legs
I like how he can call me every day
come lay with no ****** intent
It's all new to me
I feel kind of drunk
Anyone who knows me knows how I love my alcohol
I'm not trying to be too drunk to see.. this is a different kind of personal intimacy...
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 25, 2018 at 1:43 AM UTC
His name was Nik
thats how I called him
desperate, I was
unknown, he was
years ago something in me realized
desperate, he was
unknown, I was
Aug 12, 2016
Aug 12, 2016 at 4:07 PM UTC
He doesn't respond!!!
He said he's sorry
I am too
But I dont want him
To **** himself
Too
What have I done!
I caused all this
I had to love Gabe.
I had no choice
Nik is jealous
And he's trying to blackmail me.
Help!!
Nik is hurting after his last
Breakup.
He isn't the same.
And Gabe wasn't the kindest.
Nik is mad
Nik wants to hurt Gabe.
But I love him.
I would
Never
Ever
Hurt Gabriel
For a friend's sake.
Even if it hurts me
Makes me panic
Makes me cry
Makes me want to die.
I'm very sorry.
I'm very sorry!!
Don't do anything rash.
Plz.
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 6:24 PM UTC