A coffin came my way,
They said, therein you lay;

I could believe them nay,
Until they said they could flay;

Wild I went,
I could not vent;

The expression remaining,
Before it started draining;

I was no longer composed,
I had to be dosed;

You were ethereal,
This had to be surreal;

No enmity could matter,
When everything had shattered;

You had been battered,
When you had me flattered;

I can not apologise,
You have been baptized;

I seek not your forgiveness,
I need not your liveness;

For you’ll always be,
Right here, in my heart;

I woke up, to find you gone,
For EVER in your zone..

I need not repent,
For I have your scent;

Your memories alive,
Shall always thrive;

You were one of a kind,
Never out of your mind;

It is not cowardice,
For it requires courage;

It shall not be despised,
For it was your suffrage..

Breathless Words

Soul to soul her words flowed the letters were elegant as she they had this bolden quality a richness
then her face was superimposed on the paper up in the left hand corner the paper was it self able to
evoke emotion light brown flowers and buterflies colorfuly purple ran down the right side then the
writing seemed but whisps visible but tendrils that are so cast as tiny to the point of airyness but that
was where the emotional timbres they struck a cord divisions inserted into layers that lay heavy on the
page pure heart some what disturbing crackled a liveness cried to be heard a call was spreading across
a waste land this velvet verdue capitalized on scarsity the emptyness gave it greater apaeal it spoke in a
whisper and you strained to hear you must hear when wonder sings there is always an audiense she
divised words that were robed in color and vibrancy your breath was cought ebbing and flowing her
thoughts were winged angels they called with hallwoed tounges their words were counter weights to
the usal run of the mill chit chat her perpodours words stood in great banks in the sky her words were dark and
raging at times and then turned white it was as she was fencing great sections of land then the storm
broke the pain came in torents this liquid rain expressed demoanized parts of what she vehemitantly
sought to express and then it slowed to a roll over the landscape of her life then it was glory noble it was
as you were whisked in to a great white church you stood by the altar as she pureified her deeepest soul
she confronted loss those dark corners in the lives of lovers it is not perfeclty clear but possibly one had
strayed it seemed she was making marks that represented death black and treacheous she wrote from
the very whip lashes on her heart they had healed but they left scar tissue her fingers passed over them
then she transfured them to the keys shame disgrace visted in the most beautiful chamber of their love
now it would forever remain a darkness in otherwise the show place of love and its achievments she had
a fire that was exzilarting it had the element that burned untamed places and when the new growing
came it was now clean the visual mastery that when observed is stunning she detailed the defining
moments that only love can birth this was one thing she said I love that magic. I hope it is a magic that
last “forever” be enthralled when you kiss your beloved know not you are planting seeds that drift over
filelds of forever they rise on the country breeze they travel to as the song says ole tangers and amid the
Pyrimids along the Nile they stall speachless at the foot of Kilamajoro they traverse the bluest sea to the
swaying of the hula and then they with this romantic thickness bend under the weight there only
definition and reality in this case lies at your feet live the dream girl

All these poems
We write
To save our lives.

To preserve like amber,
Only more futile.

To hope and pray our children
May live on and bless
What’s left of mankind.

May move them with their liveness,
Their boldness, their plain old truth.
Even if all they ever did was express
How they really felt to be alive.

Lisa and I played a round of frisbee-disc golf today—let’s reminisce.

I love the ‘live performance’ of sports, how you must physicalise
discipline. You get this instant feedback that you have to own and
lean hard into. The being present to adjust, the internalised mechanisms of performance—the ‘liveness’—is the most exciting thing about sports. And, of course, the one who does it best wins—there’s a simplicity to it.

Being Sunday, the course was crowded with guys. Most of the groups were college teams of five or six guys. Since there were only two of us, we were playing faster.

I don’t like going up to a group of guys and asking to play through.
They always let us but we get these appraising looks—not strictly golf related—that you can feel. So we skipped around the guys and played open holes—still playing 18—they just weren't contiguous and it took a bit longer.

It was great to get out in the sun. The course was all rolling fairways, there’s no grass greener and no sky bluer. I came in 14-under (straight brag). I’m a little competitive, my ego loves to be placed in a hierarchy, and winning seems to give form to me, it’s such a pleasant and coherent narrative.

As we were leaving our escort Charles stepped away for a minute and a couple of Yale looking guys offered us a ride back to campus—which was all very innocent and chivalrous—to save us waiting for an Uber or something—I'm sure (we were all sweaty and looked like drowned rats).
‘Sure,’ I thought, ‘let’s run off into the sunset.. not.’
But I said, “No, thanks, anyway.”
.
.
Songs for this:
Golden Boys by Res
Fruitcake by Subsonic Eye

Well,
Here I am
It's a dilemma
I don't like it.

Help?
Probably not.
Life is weird, right?
Just be a good person.
Again, again, again.
Right?

I all feel alone sometimes

But Im here.  And it will always get weirder.  Despite your lack of
appreciation.

its the song of your heart beating
the alive liveness  of your limbs
dancing running jumping
the flow of your hair and sitting down
listening to birds singing
your confusion learning maths or
indeed anything
yes through it all and more to come
I have lived you and loved you