We've been sad so long
that happiness scares us
We love to hate
We seek comfort in misery
We scream that the universe
does not want us happy
But we are glad
to be sad
Because joy is always so temporary
At least we can always count on misery
to be there
in the deepest corners
of our hearts.
-@IrisMaddenPoetry

I want to hold your attention
To keep you up at night
wondering about me
I want you to desire me
I want you to want me
I want to make you laugh
To make you ache
To steal your heart
To make you not want to let go
I want you to choose me
Choose  me.
Want me
I want to be good enough for anyone
I want to be better than enough
More than you ever hoped to have...
But I am not.
I never will be
anything more than boring
and ordinary
I hate me
I hate me
I hate me
For not being extraordinary to anyone
To you.
@IrisMaddenPoetry

I do not
have to tell you
not to notice me.
Your eyes rest,
and then skim right by
...my features barely holding
a place in your mind.
Sometimes
I like it that way...
...but sometimes
I wish to have
some sort of...
relevance
in your life
in your hopes
in your dreams...
Sometimes
I wish
I wasn't so irrelevant
to you...
-IrisMaddenPoetry

Rush these days
of restless pacing
of watching the clock
with an anxious heart
waiting to seek reassurance
through your hands
laced with mine
These seconds away pass too slowly
and the hours with you
pass too soon
Life's unfair
and I think too much
maybe I care too much...
- written 12.15.16
@IrisMaddenPoetry

drown in the hatred
of yourself
as they wish you were
something else
try to be good enough for them
because all you want
is to be wanted
no one's okay with who you are
not even you
bore them to death
with useless silence
and wish you knew
how to make them laugh
how to make them keep you
go back to the darkness
and let it surround you
because you're no better a person
than you were when you left it
still irrelevant
lost and hiding
notice no one
because they'll notice you
and then forget
as you fail to fill the silence
as you fail to fill what's missing in them
because there's so much missing in you
push them away
before they take hold of your heart
and drop it as if it burned them
when it only meant to be a little warm
before they see just how
unfixable you are
cringe in embarrassment
because you opened up
and no one saw what you were showing
cry rivers on the inside
because you'll never be perfect  
look at yourself
and see how you don't matter
you are no one
and to everyone
you are less
wish that mother would have
saw her mistake and ended it
so you wouldn't exist
distract yourself from this reality
before it suffocates you
with its truths you'd rather forget
-IrisMaddenPoetry

The sights fly past the windows
carrying with them
the last sounds of your voice
the wind takes away
the rest of your words
my hand has long forgotten your touch
and now I forget your face...
This dark void and time
takes everything
and we will never be everything
to each other
I'll never see enough of you
to not forget
We'll never be more...
07.31.16
-IrisMaddenPoetry

alone in mind
alone in body
alone in spirit,
lonely soul
and lonely heart.
to sleep you go
and all the words
die on my fingertips,
all the questions
move to take their spots
among things
I'll likely never again
find the courage to ask,
here's to hoping
one day
we'll know.
@IrisMaddenPoetry