drown in the hatred
of yourself
as they wish you were
something else
try to be good enough for them
because all you want
is to be wanted
no one's okay with who you are
not even you
bore them to death
with useless silence
and wish you knew
how to make them laugh
how to make them keep you
go back to the darkness
and let it surround you
because you're no better a person
than you were when you left it
still irrelevant
lost and hiding
notice no one
because they'll notice you
and then forget
as you fail to fill the silence
as you fail to fill what's missing in them
because there's so much missing in you
push them away
before they take hold of your heart
and drop it as if it burned them
when it only meant to be a little warm
before they see just how
unfixable you are
cringe in embarrassment
because you opened up
and no one saw what you were showing
cry rivers on the inside
because you'll never be perfect  
look at yourself
and see how you don't matter
you are no one
and to everyone
you are less
wish that mother would have
saw her mistake and ended it
so you wouldn't exist
distract yourself from this reality
before it suffocates you
with its truths you'd rather forget
-IrisMaddenPoetry