experience one moment that can create the ver forgetables
begin the memorys that escape the ordinary and outstep the extrodinary
soak it all in
In hopes to never feel it again
make it matter for the morning isnt neccesarily near

I am your mistake
no love, no hate
the scars that are
shown upon my wrist
are memories of my past
the bruises which
appear all over my
legs are caused by stress,
I'm your cupcake,
extrodinary and sweet.
so call me cupcake.mistake

I love how
When something happens
You always want to tell me
Even if it's not that exciting
But you still want to share it with me
But you won't tell me in text
You have to wait to talk about it in person
And I'm the same if something happens
No matter how extrodinary
You and my best friend
Are the first people
I want to tell

God is going to bless me with so much
I don't know when and I don't know what
But I know God is going to do great things for me
He is going to bless me with beautiful visions
And a beautiful future
I am blessed and I am recieving blessings every day

I have many things to look forward to
And I can't wait to see what will happen 
God, make me extrodinary
Guide me in the way I should go
Make me shine the way you need me to shine
Make your home in me and renew this temple

Want to be extrodinary
               Not ordinary
Want to be the one with the brain
           Not some plain Jane
Wrap me up and tie me down
Last seen fleeing in a wedding gown
          Confused, where to go
Break the string to the puppet show
Want to be me
                  Not one of three
Want to dance
            Not be dismissed at first glance
Break free and run wild
Dare to break the rules
              Play pool and be a fool
Continental shelf in of oneself,  remember yourself

Today the rain pours
As I wait for my shift to begin I sit in my car
My hair is wet, I'm nursing a deep wound
Which will become yet another scar

I cracked open the window to my heart
Ever so slightly
Reluctantly to allow a warm island breeze to roll in
Instead I experienced a turbulent wind

I let my guard down like never before
I opened the door
Thinking we were something more

Now I sit confused and disheveled
Face full of tears
An emotional flood
Perhaps it was I who misunderstood

You see, I took your word as true
Rememer, those three little words you spoke?
"I love you"
Empty now they seem
Extrodinary how a heart changes so quickly
I'd like to make this break clean

The last words spoken by you the other night
Do you remember the ones after the fight?
"This is me giving up for now
I'll talk to you tomorrow babe, I love you
Good night"

Those words gave me false reassurance
As these arguments are a regular occurance
You'd tell me time after time
"Babe we'll be fine"
Why on earth did I believe that line?

My own stupidity
Has gotten the best of me
As I delusionally imagined how truly loved by you I'd be

As with protocol you told me to go
So I gave you your space
That is our bi-weekly flow
But you changed entirely
You didn't call like you said you would

Colder than the deepest ocean
You tell me now,
"We're not together so what does it matter?"
To this I reply "I love you"
And then your harsh words cut me like a knife
"I don't, we are done"
You love me no longer
The heartless tone said all I need to know

I don't understand what happened but it did
The trust I worked so hard to release to you after months
Is shattered and jagged on the floor

Some people go through lovers like water
But that is not me,
I let people in very selectively
When I love, I love truly and deeply
Sometimes months, even years, go by
Before I'll look a man in the eye

I know with time, I'll be fine
You'll move on and forget my face
Rise to fame and bring pride to your family's name
But I'll always keep my door open just the same

So for now I sit and wipe away my tears
Recounting the steps as I reel from the shock
Of something seemingly small that has ended it all
I have to put on a happy face
As I enter the workplace

The girl with volcano eyes,
And a lions mane,
Never quite fit in,
I guess she's to blame,
Because she's got freckles on her nose,
A few broken toes,
On her left foot of course,
And she doesn't sit straight enough,
She's smiling a lot,
But never feels it,
So they say she's insincere,
But she carries twice her weight in responsibility,
For you,
A stranger,
She's got short legs,
A long curvy torso,
That bleeds into wide hips,
She has larger calves,
And tiny ankles,
Fat fingers,
And small hands,
Perfect ears,
But too large a nose,
They say her cheek bones are so high,
Her bottom lip too plump,
But her personality,
Extrodinary

I know you see the world burning around, those sorrowful tears of despair in your eyes, streaming down like the waters of Peru

But I am going to grasp you close, I don’t know how much youth we have left, but I know I wish to spend it with you

I won’t whisper sweet nothings to you, I won’t partake in giving you roses, I won’t promise I’ll be around forever

I tell you in clear tone, that I wear my heart on my worn out sleeves, that I see you and I see why life isn’t always darkness

I’ll take you to the rivers I walked before, and tell you my memories, and how I wish to make new ones with you

I’ll tell you that I’ll die one day, and that I wish to make it count, so I’ll take my seconds being around you

You aren’t a waste among this earth, you are the lotus among the thorny vines, the magnolia against the pouring rain

You are the temple in wish I find sincereity, you are the docile lake were I look at the mirrored stars above

You are the roaming fox, among the foggy woods, encumbered by dread and sorrow

You are the realm were fantasy becomes real, were dreams take forms of plausible smiles

You are what makes the doubt become dust, you are the breath that blows it to the eternity around

You are the astral spectical of crystal amazement, you are the life inside the dreams of love
You are something amazing, something special, something extrodinary

the brain
is
such a mysterious creature
involuntary
extrodinary
anything but
ordinary
why is it
such a separate thing
from "me"

when im alone
and i have nothing to
direct my attention to
i wish i had my fill
of the things that are known to **** you.

its been a little while
that ive been clean of it

but i need it.

i get itchy
and twitchy
and thirsty
without it
my throat feels like its on fire
and the only thing that could cool my case
was another fill.

without it
i’d have these extrodinary headaches, real irritable
and i’d feel like i saw the room slowly crumbling down
and the floor would spin from beneath me
which it never did.

once i had another fill
it was as if it made my stomach full again
it felt like a three course meal
in one small compact dose.
so
so
tasty
yet terrible.
its tearing my family apart
and i know this but when my mind starts
thinking about moments like those.
where i felt really infinite.
i start to crave
for another fill.
another fill
just
one  
more
wont hurt.
at least for today..