-the deep feeling
of being alone or
feeling loneliness;
the morbid dread
of being alone.
*i guess i finally
found my condition,
and no cure for it.
at least i am going
to die alone,
there will be no one
to show fake sincerity
for my death.

i find perfect peace in lalochezia ..
your being is selcouth,
this piece is adoxography to the world
but everything to me.

darling you drowned me so deep in lust,
i started to believe that it was love..
i sit by the ocean in the night time as if i am a paralian,
listening to the most peaceful sound that is the waves roaring..

the horror of my desolation,
seems to be washing away at the sound of the ocean..
i never want to leave this place.

i suffer eremophobia,
i just need us to move..
we cant stay here, we have to leave,
this is torture.

i dream of rasasvada,
i dream of apanthropinization.
le mot juste.