"djs" poems
Broccoli in a white lamp shade
cast shadowy face tattoos
to mark the unjoustly.
The festival in background
is throbbing in directly contrasting sound, to the art nouveau it's sleeping with.
Each vegan burger stand vomits exquisite neon. However
the collage itself
is apologetically brown.
Theatre masks and DJs, VR and a Just Dance floor set,
a sprint before midnight, a sprint after discount ethanol;
so I gaze and perhaps ponder for a friend.
And yet when counting the heads,
I find I needn’t more than my own to hands
for the few middle-aged supermarket clerks
Sep 29, 2018
Sep 29, 2018 at 4:01 PM UTC
They say love comes unexpectedly
But they never told me how it leaves
Suddenly, painfully, helplessly
And this is just another poem about you
But unlike the other ones from before
It's the last of it all, with no more
See I already felt it coming
Long before it all fell apart
Before it shattered my living heart
Usually in books, they talk about heartbreaks
Emotional stress, vulnerability, and crying
But they never mentioned physical heart aches
The throbbing, and the sobbing
And what feels like a bullet clashing
Every millisecond, pounding, literally breaking
And it's something chocolates can't fix
And obviously, neither will the chick-flicks
Something not even sleep could do the trick
I've realized we grew apart
Became distant, not just because of the miles
Already separating us apart
And I know I've pushed you away
Leaving you in dismay
Unsure of tomorrow, scared of yesterday
But I didn't know you knew
Knowledged of the game I've put you through
Unaware that you could hurt me too
Now all's been said and done
I've lost the better part of me, my number one
My lover, my bestfriend, all gone
Unlike other scenarios, I choose to act differently
I aim to take it well, and not selflessly
I won't let my vulnerability get to me
And now I know better
Right now pathetically missing you
Wouldn't do
And someday, hopefully
We'll meet again, in a parallel universe
Within each other's existence, unknowingly
Maybe then, in another life, I could love you
But for now thank you for the pain and tragedy
I needed it for my poetry.
-djs
Jul 30, 2013
Jul 30, 2013 at 10:20 PM UTC
basilisk ****
nonparticular inexecrable exit
art ****
the lips on for breakfast
twilight zip entanglement
meticulous bending and sensual telepathy
fever-sickness
rock 'n roll boo-boos
lilting black 'n blues on the caboose
puppeteering every tasty ***** loose
chews the collar
thighs and necking room
bustling bussers it gives ifs
gets down with
daisy, dior, dkny, grapefruit(purple) to narcisso and pink sugar too
Bliss tainted madness
playing tug-o-war with
January's vacuum
Years of passing down groupies
to the most recent djs playing bad dubstep tunes
and that sickness of seeing iloveyou's abused
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 5:31 AM UTC
running my hands
through your messy hair
leaving trails of kisses
on your neck, your back
heck, even the air
your hands lingering
all over parts of me,
once hidden and untouched,
kissing and mending
the scars on my body
my lips pressed onto yours
gently, passionately
a sweet taste
grasping movement,
driving me to insanity
your securing arms
taking full control,
making me feel like home
wanting more,
taking over my soul
our bodies intertwined
moving in the same pace
sharing the same heartbeat,
intoxicated, addicted
filling in a lustful place
storms of kisses
hurricanes of love
a needy touch,
exchanging smiles
forming one, or ten, thereof
those moments we've made love
remembering makes me sick
but **** in a good way
a breathtaking way,
this feels so nostalgic.
-djs
Jun 26, 2013
Jun 26, 2013 at 1:04 AM UTC
if words are food for the mind,
then here is a glimpse of mine
if words are drugs for the brain,
then here is why i'm so pained.
abandoned, abhorrent
abnormal, absent
abstract, abuse
addicted, anxious
betray, bitterly
blank, blasphemy
bloodless, breakdown
breathless, brutal
captive, casually
catastrophe, cautiously
change, cigarettes
crucial, clueless
damaged, dangerous
deadly, disastrous
disheartened, disconcerting
dramatic, dreading
eager, eccentric
ecstasy, eerie
effete, effortless
embittered, excess
faded, failure
faintly, fallacy
faltering, fatally
fearfully, finally
garbage, gawky
gibberish, gloomy
gone, goodbye
graphic, gratify
hallucinate, harshly
hazy, heartless
hectic, helpless
hesitant, hit-and-miss
idiotic, idly
ignorant, intimacy
illogical, imaginative
infatuated, intoxicated
jealousy, jittery
journey, journal
joylessly, judicial
junk, juvenile
keen, killing
knavish, knocking
knockout, knotty
knowingly, knowledge
laborious, lacking
lame, languishing
lifeless, literature
lovelorn, lugubrious
madness, maintenance
make-believe, malaise
mean, melancholic
mellow, melodramatic
naff, naivety
nameless, naturally
nauseous, nebulous
neglected, nervous
oasis, objectionable
obliged, obliterate
oblivion, obscurity
obsolete, one-and-only
pacifist, pained
pale, panicky
paradise, paralyze
passionately, passively
raging, ranting
rationalize, raving
realistic, reasonable
rebellious, reckless
saboteur, sadness
sake, sameness
sanity, satisfactory
scar, steady
taint, tangled
tasteless, tearful
telling, temperamental
terror, theoretical
unaffected, uncanny
uncommon, unconsciously
undesirable, uneasy
unfortunate, untidy
vaguely, vanish
vanity, vanquish
versatile, vicious
violence, voracious
waiting, waking
walkout, wanting
wasteful, weary
withering, wrecking
if words are food for the mind,
then you've seen a glimpse of mine
if words are drugs for the brain,
then no wonder i'm so pained.
-djs
Aug 5, 2013
Aug 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM UTC
There's an architect designing the world from the skyline downwards, as he believes himself to be a God
The paraffin lamps on Victorian cobbled corners are as dry as the seraph in dust bowls over some arid sea
A portrait exists, of a town covered in mist and the orange cliffs are a thousand bloodied wrists
Somewhere music plays to ghosts, obtuse reverberations of some cave on a mountain... or something
and what a useless skill it is to be a poet, flouting fanciful words as if a single soul cared or could possibly muster anything more than unadulterated apathy
What a lonely life it is, to spend entire days watching *********** and reveling in dissociative stoicism
Watching cam girls for hours on end, swept up in conversation yet never taking part, only watching
They seem as lonely as anybody, holed up in crimson rooms as anonymous DJs play through laptop speakers
Fielding obscene questions with a smile and renting their body in timetables to the highest tipper
and some days the depression becomes so heavy that ************ seems impossible, though it's possible to blame such scarcity on the anti-anxiety meds that have ruined so many-a youthful folly
Is there a more flattering notion, than a story teller being commended for honesty when every word is a lie
Fictional accounts of melancholic lives told in a pulchritudinous verse or a prose of the most regal purples
Using nothing more than psycho-stimulants and a smeared bedroom window for inspiration
There's a writer sat at a desk, typing ridiculous lines of text, as he knows himself to be human
and in that humanity he strives to create a realists interpretation of existence through scattered memories
and derivative styles of his favourite authors whilst using educational texts as footnotes in imaginary diaries
Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013 at 2:10 PM UTC
Breaking his enthusiasm as my pencil spasm insanely random like a Gatlin cannon my magnum blastin shots taken so I'm shootin then walking off like cam Nuked'm these civil lies causing an evolution I'm killing guys its the only solutions dude blowing smoke too much pollution on the same page until I go rampage and start looting enraged second phase using the bars from my cage to punch lines through these frames I'm battle rappin as quick as they can match'em let it happen captain Hook I'll patch ' em in tandom with passion my fraction got these ******* trashing like DJs scratching I'm thirsty for action these weapons I'm packing get rowdy they start clapping like jacks sons put a cap in your captain capitalize off what happens I'll top 5 of your top 10 you fighting for your life I'm just saying one with a slight of hand I'm disarming this man King of Kings Schooling these Lord of rings on thier aim, I'm top tier they lame I'm **** ' em all with the same ball and chain pen dragging them all to my hall of slain, this a deadly game, and I bringing the major pain.
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014 at 10:16 PM UTC
With your legs quivering
Hands and arms shaking
Voice cracking
Look up to see the light
The only light
Focused on you
Only you
Look back down
To your audience
Staring
No, observing
Intensely
Right at you
And only you
And as you speak
One more word
Nothing else comes out
But a trace of
Grasping breath
The lights turn of
Or so you think
The people disappear
Or so you imagine
Losing yourself
Somewhere between the stage
Or your thoughts
Thoughts you could've said
Or performed
Either way taking over you
Leaving you in an unconscious state
Lost, confused, and frightened.
-djs
Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 12:35 AM UTC
lack of motivation
no inspiration
not even an ambition
no room for admiration
nothing but frustration
pure pain and isolation
not enough justification
or a single explanation
heck I'm just 'nother genetic mutation
with no feelings and no emotions
so how do you expect me
to write poetry of pure perfection?
-djs
Jul 24, 2013
Jul 24, 2013 at 7:15 PM UTC
Sometimes I wonder,
How can someone at fifteen years old
Go through depression?
How someone so young
Can already be exhausted
Of the world they still haven't known
And sometimes I think,
Maybe it's not real
But I am living example
I wonder, maybe, it's just a phase
But phases last years not a lifetime
Maybe it's genetics,
From each branch and every leaf
In the family tree with a chemical imbalance
But how come they don't understand?
Sometimes I think,
Maybe it's the people around me
And so I isolate myself away from everybody
Feeling relaxed but not quite happy
So maybe it's the surrounding,
So every few months I always end up moving
And I don't trace my steps I don't look back
I just keep running and running
From everyone and everything
The friends who were always there listening,
Relatives who were sometimes annoying,
And a lover who'd kept trying,
And everytime I leave they ask why
And tell me you are so confusing
But I don't answer back
I just keep running and running
Until I realize,
I'm running away from my problems
And the problem is myself.
So maybe young people with depression
Do exist, and I am one
And maybe there's no way out of it
Because my depression and I live in unison.
Merged together, stuck with one another
Struggling to live in a body
That keeps getting uglier,
Trapped inside a skin full of scars and blisters
That I have not once considered
How to make them all better.
Because it's who I am, it's my home
With my melancholic half
And half a soul of my own
Pain and depression
Are really the only things I've felt and known.
So maybe it's possible and it does exist
The only place it doesn't
Is in my sleep and in my dreams
And when I wake up
My sadness alarm tells me,
Welcome home!
Sorry it's not a sweet one though.
-djs
Aug 25, 2013
Aug 25, 2013 at 1:06 AM UTC
2 a.m.
the alcohol starts to consume me
and the worse side of me prevails
flashes of anger, neverending madness
so i drink the sadness away
drowning memories of you in this bottle
flushing thoughts of you astray
now i'm nothing but nauseous
but i can still see you and your stupid face
and i scream and yell
these drinks have done me nothing but rage
and as i start to take my final sip
i start to crumble and break
cry as many tears as i've drank
sob as many breaths as i've had to take
extracting every single burden
in this horrible, vulnerable state
so i guess these bottles are my excuse
to let the hurting go away
but thoughts of you drive me insane
and though it's not enough
this will at least ease the pain
it's almost 4 a.m.
i'm still waiting for the sunlight's rays
still anticipating for better days
-djs
Aug 7, 2013
Aug 7, 2013 at 11:02 PM UTC
losing my mind like before
my heart's going blind to mourn
no room for more!
closing its door,
filled with fear and horror
sounds in my head ashore?
not my voice but yours?
as every part of me sores
making its way to my core
ruining my spores
my insanity roars!
and the madness pours!
and the pain explores!
stop! i can't take it anymore!
i promised i'll be fine, i swore
to you over and over some more
but what can i do it's uncalled for?
my sickness takes the score
i'm destroyed and unhappy and more!
what is there to adore?
-djs
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013 at 10:19 PM UTC
As dreadful as an eruption
Deceased like winter
Chest tightening
And fists clenching
As roses ***** right in the throat
Used razor blade on one hand
And tabs of acid on the other
A vast and lonesome world
Population: one-half
Two mindsets coming in unison
Psychedelic tendencies, suicidal thoughts
Insanity occupying a dystopic atmosphere
Swirling smokes, colourful spheres
Intensifying a bloodshed scene
Three, two, one, a blue-green string cut
"Don't do it!" they yelled
"It's not worth it!" they said
But too late, Death grinned at their faces
No pulse, no heartbeat, no memories
No single presence of bliss
Just a cold, pale,
Lifeless
Body in the dark abyss
-djs
May 16, 2013
May 16, 2013 at 1:09 PM UTC
Talking twenty-four-seven
Kissing like there's no end
Being around your presence all the time
And you say we're just friends.
You forbid me to see other guys
Yet I could just see jealousy in your eyes
Wanting to be my only one
Then you toss me away, is that so wise?
Crossing the lines of being protective
With me, you're just beyond possessive
But when we get down to business,
**** you're more than aggressive.
But the way your eyes travel around me
How your hands linger all over my body
Doing the exact same routine twice a week
Making love, just friends, steadily.
One night you treat me like a princess
And the morning I wake up you say I'm a mess
We've got to stop this, whatever this is
We're too loose, fragile, and reckless.
And aside from our enclosed relationship
We still manage to keep a friendship
But whenever you mention your other "friends"
It just makes my heart rip.
Within our complications and misfits
We're still each other's favourites
And you say we're just friends?
I'm tellin' you, that's bullsh*t.
-djs
Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013 at 8:18 PM UTC
See whenever I think about you
I stop breathing
And when I'm with you
Your oxygen starts filling
And filling and filling me in
Until I'm bloated with air
And I just want to give back the rest to you
So that we both can share
-djs
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 9:58 PM UTC
they told me you weren't worth
three years of waiting
they told me it won't work
and i'd end up mourning
but i told them that i'd prove them wrong
they just have to wait and see
but no one told me
about the obstacles and challenges
i'd, we'd have to face
all the loneliness and emptiness
we'd have to endure
and the new people new changes
that'll affect us both
i wish they'd warned me
about the people constantly trying
to bring us down
the people blatantly desiring
to break us apart
and the people wishing and hoping
that they'll be next in line
no one had warned me
about the girl soon to fall crazily
head over heels for you
and mostly
no one had warned me
about the gorgeous boy helplessly
wanting to take your place
but they did
they'd warned me all they can
i just didn't listen
and if i did i would have known
the difference between you and him
and i wouldn't have kept looking
for a replacement
for someone permanent
only now you aren't anymore
so i'm sorry
and i miss you like crazy.
-djs
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 12:50 AM UTC
naive and stoic and heartless
nothing but a mess
stressed and melancholic
depressed and psychedelic
but how this is discombobulating
once so happy now i'm grieving
like an owner losing a puppy
a mother losing her baby
only that i didn't lose anything
just my sanity
-djs
Jun 28, 2013
Jun 28, 2013 at 7:03 PM UTC
in a city
where i cannot stay
off to an unknown town
i will fly away
for a new start
and better days
i'm only here
to be sane
thirty boxes
in which my whole life lays
packed and set to minimum
full and heavy luggages
pictures and books and letters
all memories packed away
with everything and everyone
i'm leaving in dismay
it's nobody's fault
i just need to get away
but in this dreadful city
my love stays
my source of happiness
and i simply cannot walk away
but in three years dear
he'd promised he will wait
in three years
back to this hell of a place
but not for too long
only to see my beloved's face
fill in the gaps of our missing time
once more to feel his embrace
but in time i will leave again
somewhere far away
a place i've never seen
where no one knows my name
and i will keep the same routine
pack, say goodbye, and fly away
consumed by wanderlust
stuck in a place for too long
i cannot stay
-djs
Jul 13, 2013
Jul 13, 2013 at 8:56 PM UTC
red lines then white
blood and skin tight
elongated scars
freaky, right?
long sleeves on bad days
wristbands are also okay
hidden scars
but they'll never fade.
and one day you'll touch me
disgusted and queasy
two year old scars
and you'll never accept these.
-djs
Jun 30, 2013
Jun 30, 2013 at 11:11 AM UTC
"it's been almost a year,"
that's what they always say
as an effort to help me forget about you.
but it's been almost a year,
and i think i'm missing you again
and i know i swore to myself
that i'd stop writing about you,
but not enough shreds and scribbles
can erase the fact that to this day
you're still my muse,
you're still the only reason i have
to keep writing,
to this day, you're still here.
maybe you're drowning
in the ink of all my pens,
maybe you're engraved
on the pages of every piece of paper
that i write on,
or maybe your face just naturally resembles
all the clouds i look at,
maybe i've just been hoping that
you're looking up at the same sky as i am,
but i know that your skies
are thousands of miles away from mine,
and no matter what i do,
the sunshine there
just won't replace the rain here.
see, they keep telling me,
"it doesn't have to be this hard,"
"it doesn't have to be him"
but thing is, even during those times
when i didn't want it to be,
still, it's always been you.
and i know that
if it had been anyone else,
i wouldn't lose hours of sleep again
i wouldn't have to worry about
time differences either
i wouldn't have to wait for calls
that are way long overdue
and i certainly won't have any problems
missing you;
but i guess i've always been
attracted to complications.
but it's so late
and my thoughts are in disarray
and since i can't be there
to say these things to you
i ended up writing them down
like how i usually do.
soon, we'll be walking under
the same old skies again;
i guess asking you to be patient
would just be selfish,
you probably just stopped waiting.
or maybe you never even have.
-djs
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014 at 3:26 AM UTC
It’s the third of April and I was there
Sitting still, wondering
Observing the lifeless environment that surrounds me
And I simply couldn’t help but think
How did it all come to this
And why
It was exactly a year ago, during April, too
A blossoming sense of the beginning of new life
Little did I know
There was something even more beautiful than the flowers and trees
Something more serene than the feeling of crisp air and bright yellow sunlight
Little did I know that such a lively season
Was above, beyond, and even better than the liveliest things combined
Within three months after, it was mid July
And by then things only got more astounding
“Breath taking”, even
I’ve come to known this cheerful atmosphere’s smiles
Laughs, and confidence, and everything that makes it the amazing familiarity within me
And it was charming and it was lovable
Just like the warm breeze and chilly nights
What a wonderful thing to learn true happiness from the happiest surrounding itself
At this point all it ever was, was everything but sorrowful
Oh and November rolled around
And as leaves started to hit the bottom
Trees started to give up, and flowers started to disappear
So did it
So did it
This vicinity, of all the happiest vibes
The sweet turned to bitter
Just as the blossoms turned to gloom
It fell into a million little pieces
And all they could do was shatter it even more
And all they could blame was itself
All they could judge was nothing but the setting
And the thing that was once like sunshine
Turned into ice cold
Who would’ve guessed
That the happy atmosphere they once knew
Was this dark hole ******* itself into it
And who would’ve guessed
That the strongest, too, break
It was February and
It was the most similar thing to an incomplete train of thought
It was February
And everything was completely gone
The fragrance of what were once the roses
The scenery of what were once the moving lakes
The warmth of all the components of happiness
Its warmth
They were gone too
Too soon, and too fast
And now it’s the fourth of April
I’m still here I’m still rationalizing
I’m still thinking over
Onto why
Why am I the only one left
Is it really fair to leave me the same
Just when everything else had changed
-djs
May 19, 2013
May 19, 2013 at 3:25 PM UTC
Two star-crossed lovers.
Which from the very beginning,
Were never right for each other.
He was a mysterious boy,
with eyes that could easily destroy.
She was a confusing girl,
that can get stomachs in a whirl.
He was the bad-boy kind,
unacceptable to others' minds.
She was too good for him,
too bubbly and outgoing.
He hid something,
he wasn't strong even from the beginning.
She hid her part, too
she was happy outside but inside won't do.
He trusted no one,
all faith in him was long gone.
She was broken due to the past,
with memories that didn't last.
But he loved her,
loved her like no other.
No intentions of another.
And she did the same,
her love grew everyday.
With no telling him in any way.
He'd long to be with her,
though he knew she deserved better.
But she needed him only,
to understand and protect her from many.
He spoke barely,
not letting traces of emotions flee.
She liked the silence,
but not as much as she liked his presence.
But he had problems of his own,
unable to fix her sorrows.
She was delusional, self-conscious
thinking he'd never accept her issues.
He simply couldn't resist,
despite the never-ending risks.
She was drawn to him,
like gravitational pull filling in.
Happy or sad,
he wanted her just as bad.
Bad or good,
she wanted to be with him for good.
They were two star-crossed lovers,
That were so wrong, yet so right
To love one another.
-djs
Jul 5, 2013
Jul 5, 2013 at 1:52 PM UTC
You; the roots of all my hurting
The cause of all my suffering;
You are deserving to die!
Within your bashful self
And drowning lies
Just another demon
You deserve to die!
Let me take the great honour
To even help you
I promise I'll stay true to my words
Let me be the tightening
Sharp thorns
That will remove you
From the face of this world
For you deserve to die!
Let me rip
Your cold freezing heart
From the body
I once saw as art
But no more! No more!
I will be the one to rip it off
Your narrow enclosed mind
As useless as your presence!
Undesirable essence!
You deserve to die!
And I will put together
Your mouth
And judgemental eyes
That say nothing but lies
Insults, hatred, and doubts
You deserve to die!
And for all the countless pain
You've brought to me
I will be the one to let you die!
Countless of times
But no! You cannot die just yet!
You must suffer along with your regrets
Undeserving of an end
Nor forgiveness
I curse you!
You deserve to die slowly
Tortured by your own self
Killed by your wrath
Within the darkest
Of the most evil world
Over and over and over again!
And some may say
I'm full of anger and fear
But I swear, oh I swear!
I will not stop 'till you disappear!
-djs
Jun 6, 2013
Jun 6, 2013 at 3:35 PM UTC
If the Scots
get independence
will we get better ****
I'd vote for that.
Maybe the 'silent majority' are like ...
hospitals, schools, fish,
whisky, natural energy
blah blah
The good folk in Scotland
have been drip-fed the
worst **** in history:
coated in chemicals
bath rinsed
molasses
spare car tyre
plastic
flotsam
***
seriously
No wonder -
Bammed (right up)
Givin it
Havin it
Lovin it
is why
bands & DJs
Love to Play:
'up for it'
'Hey MoJo's
share some of
that MTV love'
anything that's called
Council Hash
and accepted as the norm
reeks of class politics;
ah they won't mind
the **** end o that
they're the Scots
The Scottish Government
should embrace
a new Scotland
and the people in it
We want lots of things:
one of which is
better ****
Crime will drop:
- sniffing car tyres for a hit
- sales of Buckfast
will fund the entire
South East of England.
Scotland could lead the world
in upcycling as
Rizla fails to meet demand.
Our days would be so radically different;
auto flexi time
carbon neutral
trams with comfy seats
systematically
mathematically
go faster
than walking:
a mode of choice
I'd vote for that
...
Jul 30, 2013
Jul 30, 2013 at 8:34 PM UTC