My great grandfather stood on the sixth of June
Nineteen forty four hoping to return home soon.
A non-wavering ball at the pit of his belly
Told him constantly that he was not ready.

He feared for his life, his safety, his wife;
Being stood at home holding a bread knife,
Making sandwiches with that same non wavering ball
Hidden tidily away for the safety of them all.

His children knew he was on a boat
Being so brave that they could gloat
About how their dad was marching around,
Saving innocent people n that stolen ground.

But what they didn't know quite then
Was how his life very well may soon end.
Fighting with hundreds of thousands of worries soldiers
On five thousand ships not nearly as strong as boulders.

For the day he fought with many men
Against not all Axis; only ten
Thousand but still quite a few
Because he knew so much justice was overdue.

People back back at home saw only weeks before
Large green vehicles passing by their door.
The children wondered and parents knew why,
But not as much as the soldiers about to pass by.

The soldiers said "Don't fear for me,
I'll be back home so soon you wont miss me!"
My great grandfather said the exact same thing
To his wife, his kids, although not willing.

Of the three thousand that died on that day alone,
My great grandfather was lucky to be one
Of my family to come home life intact.
I am just grateful that God had his back.

For all of those that did die on that day
The memory of their bravery will never go away.
we will always cherish the thought of their fearlessness,
Their courage, determination and dauntlessness.

Beyond my existence, they spoke.
Inscrutable of my mind to understand.
Within their dauntlessness, I realized;
I have been incapacitate word by word.

I felt the agony of my emotions.
I hindered my pride of being sturdy.
The depression empowered my strength.
The glint from my eyes turned into broken crystals.

The bright blue skies are now somber.
Earth's flowers and crops withered.
All the lands have fissured.
Every river had bifurcate into multiple streams.

Generally, I am known as someone strong.
I am capable with any misery.
But now, all my journals have faded blank;
Thus, I will await a new chapter.

I am going to disregard my past.
I will mold in my hands a new and better future.
I will make the skies blue and the plants alive, once again.
I will be strong.

i.
I drove
myself home today,
Counting polemics
that I received;
that made me
feel so
attacked.

Swollen eyes,
Bruised legs,
And the urge
to dissipate
into a thin air
were just there
along with
my dead
soul.

The harsh words of
those people who
are not my
comrades are just
like an atrocious
zeitgeist of the
Fascists' dictatorship.
Those are
my biggest
weakness.

ii.
I pretend
that I am not
dying everyday
whilst in fact
every fragments of me
keeps on
losing consciousness and
even if I
regenerate,
a part of me
would always be
back on
dying.

What I'm looking for
is not a coherent
vindication nor a
stance that defends me,
I'm looking for
ways to possess self-mastery,
to be an Overman like
what Nietzsche had depicted or
to possess self-actualization
which is the
highest peak of
Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

So I began to
Construct
days of
decisive
battles.

iii.
[First arc]

I unleashed a
rather subversive
catharsis;
I punched the
mirrors until they're broken and
broke the windows with
a baseball bat
and fought everyone
barehanded
until the last moment
I shot my
two arch enemies
on the head
with my
revolver.

When I
was trying to bid
farewell,
the people
who witnessed me
unexpectedly said
that it was cool
and my dauntlessness
was cool
for doing that.

I thought
they would
hate me even more
but instead,
some of them
who are previously my
enemies ended up
wanting to be
allies with
me.
[BATTLE HAS BEEN WON]
[Achievement unlocked. +100 ability points earned.]

iii.
[Second arc]

I decided
to convey
awareness towards
the issue that
I am suffering from
through a form of
writings and speeches,
and turns out that
the society
ended up cherishing
my contributions.

They asked me a
myriad of questions
About how did I manage
to do all the things
that I have done and
how long did I take
to reach this
achievement.
I just stayed silent
for I couldn't put it
into words
how incredibly long
my endeavour was
to earn their
respect.

But I guess
it brought me
closer to
a revelation.
[BATTLE HAS BEEN WON.]
[Achievement unlocked. Magic points increased by 150+.]

iv.
[Third arc]
I have
always thought of
myself as a
modern day Cobain
due to my
lethargic self and
vulnerability and
how I depended on
cigarettes and dopes as
my redemption.

And my biggest weakness
is
my
own
thoughts.
The
world
inside
my
head.
[ACHIEVEMENT FAILED TO UNLOCK; DISRUPTED.]
[DEFEAT.]

v.
I tend
to
cry relentlessly
sometimes whenever
I realize that
all the nice things are
just dreams yet the
holocausts are
realities.

They told me,
how could I even
take care of anyone else
whilst I can't even
get a hold of
myself.

I went home with
one of my
favorite guys the other day
with bruises and a
lethargic physical condition
looking as if
I need to be protected
and I hate the fact that
eventhough I am not
fond of depending
I can't
go through things
completely alone
either.

[MISSION ABORTED—
—BATTLE HAS BEEN POSTPONED.]

vi
[No more arcs left]
I have always loved
the word "regeneration"
for the existence of that
word gives me revelation
that someday I would
get a
chance to encounter
lt too.

When I woke
up from a prolonged
deep sleep that felt
like death,
everyone told
me that they were
mesmerized by my
so-called act of courage and
volition. My lungs still
hurt and I
am still swallowing
blood that tastes like
drips of vermouth.

Honestly I
never wanted the
world as a gift; I
am in love with the
world but it goes
otherwise when it
comes to its contents.

vii
My acts that
they deem as courage
is not my
courage
it's just a form of
cognitive dissonance with
a hint of fallacy.

Oy vey, if only I
were given a freedom of
speech, I would
confront and
ask;
"Dear mother
earth and father
time, can I
live without battles
and just go ahead?"

[11417 329 2110 725
BATTLE HAS ENDED
AS DEMANDED BY PLAYER]

Dauntlessness may be indicative of strangest courage
Who shall say; those rushing to battle?
Oblivious youth prodded off like blank beef cattle
Dare I dispel bravest image; hero for time and peerage
No mother wants her son minced, poured into porridge

Good intention don't be blinded by noble cause
Nobility see no ill harm in poor's sacrifice
Do they offer their own; O when will it suffice?
To abandon war, to give thought, to give pause
Why be meat within richest men's jaws?

Let heroism gain spirit of more peaceful prowess
Join broad-minded, leave dull herd
Who directs minds in this theater of absurd?
Corporations and government alliances boundless
Don't be a cow and don't find yourself powerless

one of these days
I will try to see without being obtrusive
I will try to breathe without much heaviness
I will try to hear without being unheard
I will go along with much steadiness

the irreplaceable is never to be
forgotten  
almost impossible to take back
as the grateful recipient  
the irreplaceable is never to be
forgotten
almost possible to give back
to soon-to-be recipients

one of those days
I will speak with assurance
I will feel with dauntlessness
I will think with resourcefulness

Scholastic sterility decamped to a catocala
backwing dauntlessness.
You flicker in my hands,
mythic as the peplos
at your Prado stone-pooled feet.

My flint-flame Thalia,
I am the cautery under your brand
new fingers, the clueless mark
of your mad dash catzerie.

Tomorrow forgets you but for ivy in drywall
Jesus-toast imprints, your laughter in a hot slice
of ghost against my mouth.