To the girl who sits behind me
On the city bus everyday:
I know they probably say
With your cat-eye and your beehive
That you look like you belong
Way back in the day
But I think you look beautiful,
Even more so yesterday,
When you walked onto the bus
with your hair down wearing tear-stains.
I think you looked best today,
With a messy bun and no makeup
Listening to a song
And laughing
While I tried not to smile

To the guy who wrote the poem for me yesterday:
I know you must work hard,
You come here at six in the morning everyday,
And I don’t know why
But when I look your way I feel safe.
I know you probably hear
That you should take a break
But I know what it’s like
To work hard
Because there’s not another way.
And I know they probably say
With your tattoos and your gages
You don’t look your age
And you shouldn’t have gotten the job,
But I think you look best
At five in the morning
When you’ve just woken up
And you’re sipping coffee
While we wait for the bus
And your hair’s all messy
And your tattoos catch my eye
And I try to read them,
But I don’t want to pry

To the girl who replied to my poem yesterday:
You can read my tattoos
Any time you like
And I think you look best
At six in the morning
When your eyes shine bright
And you sip your coffee
And don’t hide your delight
I like the way
You bite your lip
When you read a book
Or you’re thinking
Or bored,
It drives me crazy
How come we never talk?
Maybe one day,
Instead of poems at bus stops
We could go for a walk.
Well, I have to get off.
Your stop’s in a minute,
Try not to forget it.

To the guy who writes me poems at bus stops:
I feel like I know you better everyday,
But it’s really weird,
Because I don’t know your name
And you don’t know mine,
Which I think is fine,
Because if this turned
Into anything other
Than poems
At bus stops,
I’d probably scare you away
Like everybody else.
Maybe we should stop,
Before we both get hurt.
Signed tearfully,
The girl in the seat behind you

To the girl who told me to go away:
You wouldn’t scare me away,
Not yesterday,
Not today,
Not ever.
Please don’t make me leave
Like everybody else.
Signed hopefully,
The guy who writes poems at bus stops

To the guy who writes poems at bus stops:
My name’s Haley
And sometimes I close my eyes
And wonder what they call you.
I take pictures everyday
And that’s why I’m here at five
Or maybe six
Every morning
To capture the perfect sunrise.
Here’s the picture I got
Yesterday, just in case
You wanted to see.

To Haley,
Who gets up early
To capture sunrises:
My name’s Ryan and
I spend all day crunching numbers,
Praying they don’t crunch back.
The picture was beautiful
And I though that maybe
One day
We could meet for coffee
And turn this into something
More than poems
At bus stops.

To Ryan, the number-cruncher
Who stole my heart:
I’d love to go for coffee
And we can laugh while we talk,
Maybe I can even show you
My favorite place
In Central Park
And we can go for a walk.

Dearest Haley,
Who captures sunrises
And stole my heart:
I can’t believe it’s been
A year since we began
With poems at bus stops
And coffee while we
Watched rain drops and talked about us.
I know this may be too soon,
I pray you don’t think me a fool,
To believe a number-cruncher
And sunrise-capturer
Could have a happily ever after.
But what do you say
We give it a shot
And spend the rest of our lives
Telling our kids
About how a number-cruncher
And a sunrise-capturer
Had a fairytale wedding
And are living their
Happily ever after.

PRAYER IS A TEAM SPORT

[In the voice of your favourite over-excited rugby commentator.]

We're inside the final quarter. We've seen a bone-cruncher of a contest today and there's no sign of a let up, the pray-ers gather for the next engagement, positioning themselves with practiced confidence, skillfully supporting each other, ready for the push.  You can see every knee and each hand bears the marks from this long muddied pray, red and brown staining every inch of their entwined limbs; - arms and hands holding fast.

Front row.
Second row.
Back row.
Digging in for the big push.

The opposition has played an intelligent game, taking advantage of any lapse in concentration, any sign of tiredness, looking for any weakness to exploit.  The pray-ers know they can't afford any slips now, they need to keep up the pressure, maintain their advance deep in the opposition's half.  Every yard of gained ground needs to be defended.

The pray-ers' Coach looks on - look at his smile! You can see the pride he has for his team, he's schooled them on every tactic of the opposition and now that training, that practice has paid dividends. This is a team of pray-ers that so clearly know each other well, supporting each other every step of the way. You can see their coordinated pray, their sustained effort and the sheer pleasure they feel when they are praying together.

The pray-ers drive on.  The sound of their groans and deep breaths merge into one. There's a rhythm to it, a cadence as together they push and PUSH. 

The opposition's footing is slipping, the pray-ers' momentum gains pace and, YES! the resistance collapses.  Oh, that must have hurt!

But there's no time for complacency, the pray-ers re-form their line looking for the next opening, the next opportunity to push forward.

This is a joy to see.  The Coach shouts his encouragement - this was never going to be an easy struggle; you can't dismiss the opposition - they are a seasoned though sometimes disorganised team and they can take you by surprise.  But as we've seen here today, the Coach knows that if his team of pray-ers keep to the plan and pray to their strengths, the opposition are surely in for a hiding. The pray-ers will triumph and they will take the winners' crown.
- Now back to the action.

In the end,
it's just a lottery
and that's when life
reached out and
got at me.

If you run
you can't hide
if you hide
you can't
run,
that is known as
the lottery
conundrum.

And so we take a stab at it
make a mad grab for it,
hold on to its treasure
for what?
pain and pleasure?
not in my lexicon.

Then we're gone
before we know it and
with nothing we have to
show for it and yet
we all reach out to grab
for it.

Sometimes it clings to you
at odd times it sings to you
mostly it brings to you
peace at the end, but
that's part of the
lottery too.

We weren't merely talking business;
her eyes said something else,
I strained my ears.Listened.
Soliloquy.Whispers.Fluttering eyes.
("Need to bring her around and sign the contract")

She is silent, eyes on papers
"wind on the waters..................
rustle of the leaves" mind sings,
I got it now, no doubt, we are attracted!
i am now a man with a heart that sizzles,
"she is of course a cut above the rest,
a fine mind, amazing number cruncher,
not to forget that pert posterior,
she makes me melt, I cannot be a hard nut"
my thought train stops to her whistle,
a lovely smile, as if to say
"Things would  start to move
between us, when this is over"

                    A man and a woman,
both,  business intentions, in mind's focus,
when together such a long time could
decide upon a course of action,
but i hear a buzz in my ears--

we  seem to sway in a charged atmosphere
all i could think is this; "our business
doesn't reach anywhere.."

When--
every obstacle fell and crashed,
relaxing ****, sniffing each other, like dogs,
in the cozy confines, of her hotel suite,
she said, the reason for the obstacles,
was pretension-
she had the need to feel in total control,
(till attraction, made the difference)
"Man and woman role reversal"
"I understand" I said.Executive privilege;
she is the senior and she deserved to feel good!
decorum in business deals must be kept.
We reversed roles
and felt more elated (we thought)
too little to do
when you properly decide, to divide responsibilities
(even in bed)
                             The deal was done,
                              she put her seal,
                              and outside the protocol,
                              a parting kiss and an invite:
                                                      Is it to be Venice?
                                                      ( or Brazil?)

Should your poem contain a lot of formulas?
Should you know how to multiply, divide, subtract and add?
Should you know the derivative of this and the derivative of that?
Should you memorize the multiplication table from one to a thousand?

Will your words sound jargon?
Will your rhyming seems out of tune?
Will your metaphor be unseen like a blue moon?
Will your piece land on the trash can very soon?

Should you discuss the ratio of your words and love?
Should you round off the message your poem have?
Should you pinpoint what is lesser than or above?
Should you define the poem’s ***** and its aftermath?

Will that number cruncher be able to read between the lines?
Will the verses relate up until the genius’ heart’s vines?
Will the logical and emotional hemisphere be able to bind?
Will the sonnet be able to convey it’s meaning through its sign?

If you are a poet and you love a mathematician
Those things are probably running on your mind
The difference in forte, will it ban
A blossoming attraction between two different kinds

Sum it all up, all your feelings inside
Write it all down, like how you calculate in a scratch
Don’t forget any, like a whole number without a dot
Double check it, you wouldn’t want misunderstanding right?

Don’t be irrational, like some numbers are
Don’t measure and compare, like graphs’ bar
Be precise as possible, but you don’t have to hit the bull’s eye
Still do some cliffhanging, and let the person analyze

They say opposites do attract
Everyone differs so why worry about those questions above?
Just express what you feel, write what you want
I’m sorry I’m a poet; I wanted this piece to be long enough

Qui Transtulit Sustinet

There sat CONNECTICUT, a twit
blue nanny-state, and doomed to sit
on welfare-warrens of the ******
her social service on demand.
She withers on NEW ENGLAND‘s vine
a bygone has-been, and a sign
of democratic overkill
where her once-dear and verdant rill
now stagnant flows: polluted stream
a moribund New England dream.
The richest state with poorest heart:
the Northeast’s saddest story. Part
of history’s renowned revival,
now irrelevant. Survival
chains her children in dependence
keeping back the state’s ascendance.
Apostate Puritan, grown old—
for LIBERTY, no longer bold;
a slave to Man, where once God’s WORD
awakened greatness. Souls were stirred
in ENFIELD (of all strange places),
Christ beheld in radiant faces . . .
Edwards held their spellbound souls
like spiders over flaming coals,
in gratitude for Gospel grace
renewing thus both town and race.
But I digress. Connecticut
is what I came to speak about:
forgotten dull colonial matron
yoked in failure, plebe as patron
nostalgic for her Charter Oak
whose deadwood limbs went up in smoke
along with dark tobacco wrap
while the plantation took a nap.
Her social programs overgrowth
pose forest fire-risk. Under oath
her public servants signal virtue;
sign which really should alert you
to the democrat-machine’s
impending failure (ways and means).
Nutmeg-addled Tax-and-spenders,
dollar drunks on welfare benders
widen economic rifts;
force single moms toward double shifts
while Latin Kings hold court in prison
waiting out their royal season:
fiscally unsustainable—
yet totally explainable
(nutmeg is a drug for witches
spendthrift warlocks, bankrupt *******).
Oh HARTFORD, city of the dead
which dies at five, then home to bed,
insurance once assured your rise;
but now your ghosts haunt sadder skies.
Your life displaced, outsourced, out-dated;
so, it seems, your fall was fated.
Meanwhile, close to New York City,
fairer fields are growing pretty
long on corporate commutes.
Data-driven growth computes
as data-drivers flood the roads
and enter by Manhattan-loads
from golden coasts’ Atlantic shores
and posh patrician golden doors
to bite the apple of our time:
a number-cruncher built on crime.
New England’s puritannic granny
(data-driven tyrant ******)
seeks to harbor tropic isles
with blandly bureaucratic smiles.
Your poor dear heart cannot afford
to welcome every island lord
who looks to better his estate
and so decides to emigrate.
Displaced Jamaicans outta yard
compel the soft verse to get hard.
Boricua separatists, dispersed
show nationalities reversed
and dwell between two foreign lands
in Spanglish no one understands.
Such nutmeg gets the covens high
to soar the stormy Liberal sky.
It’s Yankee hubris: condescension
taxing plebes for such dissension.
Though you connect, there I would cut,
excising from New England’s gut
metastasizing social tumors:
clueless and obese consumers,
teenage moms, pajama-clad
whose nenes wait in vain for dad.
QUI TRANSTULIT SUSTINET—truth . . .
but that was was in our nation’s youth.
She’s gotten worse with passing years
confirming citizens’ worst fears;
showing her colors every vote
her monotone, a droning note
on which the blue-bloods hang their hue
when hope and change are overdue.
Her atheist zeal meets Yankee pride:
a most progressive broomstick ride;
oblivious to her Christian past,
an enemy of God at last.

My swing was still tied to
the arm of the
tree when they
put it through the cruncher that
made mulch.

It fell because it
was dead
for a long time, like
dad said
whenever he thought so.

I asked mom if Spot
got scared and
ran away and
she cried
and at night
told me everything dies,
but she was wrong
because I went to sleep
and dreamt he was alive.

There is nobody there for you, and now, there never will be. I don’t have a goodbye for you. I tried to find one, I searched really hard, but shifting through the **** made me sick. I’m well again now. I don’t have anything for you. Once I had everything. All my words were wonders and they leapt out of the sun, smiling, but you shot them down with a blood-encrusted gun. They flopped around mewling, trying to hide behind injured wings, as you sought them out and stepped on them, laughing. Dream-cruncher, word-waster, selling your sad, sick song. You specialize in nasty tastes, brutal boy, and you won’t care. Narcissist. Ego King. I don’t think you have ever loved. You would love this poem.

Just when you think that you've figured it out
the numbers change again.

My brain leaks integers as I watch in the interval
and the numbers change as I've said,
due to
no doubt
the loneliness of a lifetime
of unhappiness.

So
I alter the cruncher
punch in an alternate number
and watch as my eyes start to spin

which is not so easy on a stable platform
as a human
being born about a century ago.

It's an ocean and it always roars
numbers
numbers
keeping scores
and doors too because it's always
always doors

I went through my first and the second and
through each door to another, through one more
and another and each door became one more
until
the one with a sign on it
that read,
'go through it'
and I went through it and found it
was the first door I had gone through
and now
what's left but
numbers
and they'll always be there

it is good to know
that numbers care
which numbers count the most though?
is that
something else I have to know
or just premature
enumeration?

REMEMBERING COLERIDGE

"Ok! Can we have..."
my mind shouts

from its directorial chair
megaphone in hand.

"A MIRACLE OF RARE DEVICE
over here!"

BUT OH! THAT DEEP ROMANTIC CHASM
is still in her caravan.

"Ok...cue camera No. 2 &
where...

where are the SUNNY PLEASURE DOMES WITH CAVES OF ICE
can someone please. . .

. . .get the ****** SUNNY PLEASURE DOMES WITH CAVES OF ICE
please!

"We've got a Coleridge
moment

coming up on his next
footstep!"

"Are all you brain cells
following me!"

Memory goes through wardrobe
dressing each thought

in perfect Kubla Khan
costumes.

"Ok...cue footstep 2000 &
waitforitwaitforit....2!"

"Ok people..!" shouts my mind
"...he's going to remember the

Coleridge any second
. .    .nOW!"

"Cut to...OH STILL UNRAVISHED BRIDE OF QUIETNESS!
wot...wot....cut CUT!"

"Ok...who pressed the Keats button!"

And so it is that a Keatsian personified urn
of Greek extraction

finds itself in Xanadu

as I cross the road
and almost get knocked down

by a ****** big No. 69

and a cursing cyclist
in spangled blue latex.

*

What it is like inside my brain as I try to remember the bits and bobs of Coleridge that bob up and down in the stream of my thought as I try to cross a busy road. The mind is more interested in salvaging the lines of the poem rather than coordinating the feet in order to cross the road still in possession of my life. I survived to tell the tale but...only just.

I guess I was remembering the old comic strip THE NUMBSKULLS that tinkled my pink when I was a young fella me lad and both comics and poems jumbled around in that little mind like so much bric-a-brac or emotional flotsam and jetsam. And so the lines like shipwreck sailors get washed up on the shores of my consciousness.

Our "myriad-minded Shakespeare" as Sammy said of Will and could have been said of me in this poem but not as successfully as either Shakespeare or Samuel Taylor Coleridge.

The Numskulls is a comic strip in The Beano, and previously in The Beezer and The Dandy – UK comics owned by D.C Thomson. The strip is about a team of tiny human-like technicians who live inside the heads of various people, running and maintaining their bodies and minds.

The comic strip first appeared in The Beezer in 1962 and was drawn by Malcolm Judge. In this version they lived inside a man's head rather than a boy's head. The man was never named, but the Numskulls referred to him as "our Man". There were six Numskulls during this time. The 'Mouth Department' was home to two Numskulls, named Alf and Fred. Luggy (Radar) looked a lot like Cruncher, Snitch looked like Cruncher as well except Snitch wore orange, Brainy had no glasses and had no hair apart from around his ears and wore black, Blinky looked the same except he was bald and Alf and Fred had two hairs on their head and wore black and yellow.

Blink. A few times more.
Lights gain contour and shapes move.
This is me at the very beginning
Not like conception, but at the start of memory.

The floor I am sitting on
with my legs daggling over the split-level
Is hard, yet warm. Parquet is the term for it
7 years later. Floor will do for now.

A tree towers before me, flashing brightly
Causing an assault on my eyes.
I think I can eat it. The round things look
like sweets.

Somewhere in the crème-coloured lounge suite
Below my throne an equally crème, equally uncomfortable,
Equally ugly set of couches and chairs
Laze in the afternoon butter-sun.

Grubby, sticky fingers draw abstracts
In the high polish floor, and I giggle at my
Masterpiece.
Something floats into my head.

Something? No, a someone. Mom
Later to be learned. For now, loud lady.
Incomprehensible jabber and noise
Fall out her food-cruncher.

Another floatie in my head,
It makes noises, but not like mom.
Mom tries to make its noises though.
It is soft like my blankie.

Update: Mom calls it Zeus. Also, it is
A cat. Zeus plays with the candy on the tree
No fair, I want it. Zeus also uses his teeth and nails
To hurt me, but his hair and nose hug.

His tail flails and bandies about in the air
Hips swaggering at my infancy
It looks good to pull.

Hissssss.
And the cat is gone.