"befuddles" poems
once upon a time i was a little girl
a girl with her head in the clouds
mind a-whirl
a dizzy-day dreamer
not in tune with reality
but constantly seeing the magic of fantasy
imagination was my escape
i lived in a world where my parents didn't fight
and my dad wasn't always gone
my mom wasn't always mad at him for BEING gone
imagined that he never put those holes in the wall
with his hands
and then his head
he never yelled at my mom
in my head we were a happy family
like the people on tv
but what did I know
just a kid in denial
the reality is
my dad was never there
my dad was too high on ****
to care
and my mom, bless her soul
was trying to uphold
a family of six
four of us kids
and an adult who acted like one
so i forgive her for screaming
and i thank her for leaving...
him
the divorce was a blessing
we needed an escape from the yelling
one that imagination couldn't always provide
and my mom and i never really got along
we had a rocky relationship
there was always something wrong
i was always misunderstood
and because i didn't know how to communicate my pain
i used my wrists
and cut my veins
it's not that i really wanted to die
i just couldn't think of the words i wanted to write
so i struggled with myself and i used my body as my journal
i wasn't ready to face the dragons
of self-image and self-hatred
not ready to grow up early and be emotionally stripped naked
i wasn't a damsel in distress
but i wasn't ready to face a beast
but what i figured out
is that i am not alone
there are people all around me
and a God up on his throne
and God has helped me most of all
he has chased and pursued me
he reached out his hand and helped me to see
the love for me he has is greater than my struggles
i lean him in times of need
and he comforts me in troubles
all my pain was wiped away
by the ocean of his grace
and it still befuddles me today
he gave up his son for me
a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
not deserving of his love
but his grace will ALWAYS be enough.
Jul 18, 2014
Jul 18, 2014 at 12:30 AM UTC
Where does it lead?
That's always the question
Isn't it?
The conundrum
That befuddles us all
Where does it all lead
We all go about
Wandering till days end
Never finding a satisfactory conclusion
You'll go your whole life
Looking for one answer
All for one question
Where does it lead?
This choice
That choice
What's the consiquence?
All for such a simple
...curiosity
The one solution
The one demise
Good to see cats aren't the only ones
Who are slaves to its will
Curiosity
It seems we're all slaves to its twisted will
Oct 26, 2010
Oct 26, 2010 at 6:22 PM UTC
The Acolytes come marching in and out and in, out again
Minds befuddles, rationalities amissing, fully indoctrinated
Pathetic Dogs of Attrition dressed all in white, all in pain
Compulsive obsessives, neurotics primed and oxygenated
Scrappers at the bottom of the barrel wants unlawful gain
By hook or crook is their recourse, to that they are mandated
From rhetorics long gone and ideologies forged in days of rain
Our intrepid Confused and Acolytes are soundly medicated
Just march to left, left, left, left and we will ease all your pain
Recognize that the enemies are those that think and are educated
They all claim domain at the top, with kudos, status and fame
While you languish in closed barrels, your poor lives truncated
Those Bosses are all there because they are all Masonic inclined
Doctors, lawyers and Professionals paid cash for Degrees granted
They did no work or study, rich Daddies just paid so they claim
All those Entrepreneurs are Robbers who bankraid unarrested
Because the Police are all masonic and help/share in all the gain
The Royals are Top Mafiosas, with International links atested
So Dumb Acolytes Know the truths and fall with the wise in line
We must regain Power and march left, left so we're not left in vain
The republic shall live because it's 21 Century and we wake in time
We take all from the Secret Society and cut off all our iron chains
Begin by taunting, tormenting and harassing that ****** Wayne
The ****** Prince is the African Mafia Chief and Exploiter kingpin
Sing with me everybody
Viva la Revolution, viva la Revolution
We are clever, all in our White uniforms
We march to the left left left with our two left feet
We know our brains have left us but we go left left
Viva la Revolution, Viva la Revolution, Viva la Jinbba.
Hey! jinbba, jinbaba, hey! jinbba jinbaba, hey! jinbba jinbba
Sing.........
Sep 12, 2018
Sep 12, 2018 at 5:09 AM UTC
about
a year ago the doctors ordered me to return,
put down the tablet, cease driving, stay seated,
you a skinny hair from dying, the drop dead
unkindly kind, come back to the city, there’s
an operating table Resy~reserved just for you,
the menu we will decide, two or three courses,
but for
the summering on your sheltering isle, where the
lapping waves sounds of the sound, the greenery
calming befuddles your senses is ended, the congress
of animals too have ordered your dispatch back to
the hubbub of pizza parlors, nail salons & bodegas,
and
we will slice and dice, drawn up plans to redirect
the arteries and veins that you’ve spent good money,
lazy years clogging & ******* sending you back after
you’re in fighting trim, and and recommence dialogus
with
the sun, sky, animals, the water and the waves, and
write of peace of mind, knowing that your body, too,
is
at peace, but not at rest, and let the writing begin
again, with a refreshed perspective, and re-greet
old friends, Hafiz and Whitman, who were left
behind in a hasty departure, your retreat is ended
and now, a new re-treating of the soul, to match a
newly refreshed body
postscript:
*where is shelter? why, within and without…both needed,
in happy juxtaposition*…
May 19, 2024
May 19, 2024 at 5:00 PM UTC
When it's been pouring heavy all day
then this feeling comes and always befuddles.
A couple cuts to make demons obey
rather I should jump in some muddy puddles.
Jan 23, 2021
Jan 23, 2021 at 3:50 PM UTC
God, I wish I were in Colorado
Driving down a dusty rural highway,
Beholding colossal mountains
Emerging from the horizon,
And feeling the sunlight around me
Gradually turn into snow.
There, the air befuddles the mind,
Diverting thoughts,
Altering time.
The mountains form a fortress,
Serving as a refuge to lonely travelers;
A sanctuary of serenity;
A place where spirits soar with the eagles,
Dance in the crisp, motherly breeze,
And meditate in the dense forest.
Tension dissipates,
Gratification is gained,
And convalescence commences.
God, I wish I were in Colorado.
Apr 16, 2016
Apr 16, 2016 at 8:01 PM UTC
So much hope set in the height of 8"
The curlewing curls of
pea plants
decadent
Continuos flowing of the firmament
Breaking the concrete walk of the beat to the scene we live our lives between street meat
Imploding our boundaries while humans surround me no air or oxygen just fountains trying too hard to be scenic
I have a garden
I own the earth
But not In the end
It will be my dad
All carbon and cozy covered in primrose plots moldy and pozy'd
So many flowers mounded on the grave of a detritus that it worthy.
To be part of physics
Oh happy squeaking willow branches I remember
Oh china tree blossoms white
-just soon to come out-
Ou the bombs though
The agony hanging over me when I know that there is not a peace treaty from betwixt man fingers plotting graphs of how to not hurt each other
Yet I swoon to the garden and it befuddles my every move tripping me with plant with organism with hippy mumbojumbo
Convoluted material
That makes an aqueous pressure and fluidity to drown all the youth
Thou must grow but this isn't this fixed rates word attack
No. I am here to be the garden
To show walden in myself for my selfs joy
I am here for selfishness
Not evil as you couldn't see me
To pick apart the pieces
If the leaves rent in the movement to just create me
To tease and toss the strings ran from below them to the trees seams.
To root the ever awesome conglomerated picture of a fixture of an ornament
Of the human life that Seams to stem from what is Lendon.
This is homage to myself
And so is the thought.
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014 at 8:27 PM UTC
“Blight into cold blue and obsidian water sky.
I await to graciously glance at sunset and smile,
I must renew my bones in dynasty of deity,
I have been feeling an awakening sensation,
I must still clear all my earthly levies,
As I sense awakening of a simmering rage,
The day that since has died a desperate light,
That light that must get stronger by the day,
Today is dead latency in the desolate land,
My heart welcomes you once again my love,
My season my woman my deity my immensity,
Every road leads to the door step of my heart,
For without thee I will roam with a hungry heart,
It is blunt to pause to make an end majestic creature,
Nefarious it was for suns to store and cache my will,
Skies black water befuddles me and constrains me,
Moving heaven and earth that which we were,
Made all the stars weak by time and fate,
Every ode will disperse and die as soon this will,
Ode to Blackwater”
By Andrew Guzaldo 09/20/2018 ©
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 5:43 PM UTC
Had him since he was a baby sitting on my lap until he grew up
What a baby dog he will always be
This curious Airedale who befuddles me
Outsmarts me
Friends, oh he has friends
Especially people
What a cute face they always say
As he looks at them quizzically or innocently
I don't always tell them that his brain is working overtime
And this seeming charm is a facade.
Escape artist watching me garden and taking off to visit the neighbors
Once ran away during a thunderstorm down a busy road
to be rescued by strangers and taken to a nearby town's vet
Heartbreaking, wondering where he was
Not the last time he disappeared
Once on a mountain hike where only the visioning of a friend brought him back
Now he is twelve
How much longer do I have to be with him
To sense his vitality
His love of life
And love of walks
And love of chicken stuff
He will always be special in my heart and the hearts of others.
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 26, 2016 at 8:28 AM UTC
Adoration awes to see full moon luminous
sparkling glory of heaven beckons to gloss
grace dazzles to behold beauty half veiled
joy mills through by dream for Autumn to flow.
eyes yet befuddles to sight of captive blossoms
love of mellow inspires to seal on swathe cherished
solace of innocence sates soul to reckon within
for virile tranquillity to rave through by Autumn's rapture..
Tide and ebb reels through crest and trough onshore
attribute heartfelt yet quivers under seizure of hope
over rhythm of lips as when caged by the crave
red in vein cascades holding breath as when unravelled.
Lithe of grace resounds in hale of reverberation
Quest yet ponders flicking through curve of shadow
For dream to delve from hideout i slumber deep in night
Yet on next dawn waking from slumber i see Autumn in its robe.
Oct 19, 2014
Oct 19, 2014 at 9:57 PM UTC
Out of doors, I bathe in sunlight
in the honey glow of afternoon
Unaware that night befuddles
the flawless ere of peace fled soon
with yellowed grass and aching leaves,
beseeched, from up above may fall
and with a careless kick of feet
I scatter fire ants big and small
For while I lay in grass galore
night time at the edges creeps
emerging in my green stupor
to shock my mind from lazy sleep
far out of ease my warmth is knocked
into the cool steady gaze where sheep
alarmed at the stroke of midnight flock
jumping the fence with boundless leaps
While up the front porch stairs I run
and watch the nighttime settle in
while broken leaves fly in the wind
oh, woe for those who rest at sunset
in the hollow heart of darkest sin.
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015 at 10:26 AM UTC
As clear as the placid water his soul was
To hell with the devils, they vitiated his presence
Living in a world of dreams all the time
He never realised when the clock struck nine
Plagued by his own demons, he made a tower of miseries
Although he wore a smile but it was only beguilement
To the deluded creatures which danced around him.
In the scorching heat of the desert, a frigid separation had seeped in
The reasons which he himself was oblivious about
But this is how the state of things are supposed to be
So hazy.. so murky.. Confusion befuddles this issue
Does the nexus exist or was it just another series of co-incidental events?
Even if Lucifer ran all the way he wouldn't enlighten the dungeons of his heart
For they have been scarred beyond measure with a myriad of hapless events
Still standing in the queue waiting to exterminate his soul.
The assault has begun. Who would win?
The wicked sisters of Fate who have been conspiring since eternity or
The miniscule luck which has been showered onto him?
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 5:27 PM UTC
out of touch, touching on Rip Van Winkle
the modern world only confuses and befuddles
uncertainty mounts and pressure builds
trying to be involved, evolution has passed me by –
detest is the word I use for my phone
accused of being smarter than I am;
and while I have a bachelor’s degree,
my manual is probably right
and I will never understand the vastness
of its functionality and app amazement –
A lonely grey hair falls gently
finding rest on the space bar as I type
and like an explosion or maybe lightning
it occurs to me that this is just the natural progression
and seriously, who cares if I can code…
I am 40 –
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 18, 2015 at 2:38 PM UTC