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Nat Lipstadt Nov 2023
At What Cost?
This Purchase of Our Future

a thousand answers + variegated shadings, a summation:


of millions layers of our owned chosen complexities,
so many possible outcomes, it makes infinite randomness
seemingly simpler than our googolplex crazy preposterous
notational choosings, our owned decisions which though false,
cause nothing is tandomn random except for love at first sight

it’s all  just *******, we conditioned from pre-birth,
the expectations subtly subsumed into the woman’s womb,
overlaid by the ***** donors whisperings that you will be a
great third baseman, or a great bass player, or both, but
“your” fate, ha!
is anything but yours…
to purchase!

if you were born to live in a home with no heat, and water was
obtainable by walking 100 yards away, you would still be a
pianist, writing notes of plaintive need, grand desires, musical
words of agonizing delight just as when
you first blushed when the brain
connected yellow rays with a word,
sunrise,
and an experience was synapticaly imprinted,
that real things could be defined by an ordering of letters and sounds
and you were tongue burnt by a need so great
to collect these pleasurable things and put them in a right order
of your
peculiar
particular
personal
inherited inputted
design

=
and
you yet debate
what is my instrument,
knowing that the multiples of your fingers
are the engine of your existence,
and on any particular day they, your well connected perma-crew,
will pick which is the chosen one,
and
no matter which,
for you had nothing or little purchase,
it was coded in your pre-history
just as you prepare a transmission list
of your own,
when you daily first touch your face,
closing the sensory sensual connection tween
the ephemeral and the physical
and
the new combinations
that you will imprint upon
someone’s flesh,
that is your right,
that is you write,
that is what you were
predestined,
to
create

but,
(what the heck)
you get
to-pick the instrument of the day…


(
that,
is your purchase, your only cost,
everything else has been
pre-paid
)
Thu Nov. 9 2023
8:51am
ny
Melissa Sherwood Jul 2015
When I think of you I hear a baseball game.
Thousands screaming around us as the 2nd baseman gets the second out at the bottom of the 5th
Thousands of voice waves fill the stadium
For once my ADHD clogged mind is able to focus on one single thing
You.

When the thought of you crosses my mind
I remember car rides
Aimlessly driving
Like time, the car flys
Blurry lights
Red light
We blow through it
Your arm like a switch blade
Cuts aross my chest
Time slows and you say
"Sorry it's me being protective
I guess a force of habit."

When your name slides into my brain through one of the holes in my face
I am graced with the memory of silence
Silence at 4:03am in the morning
I learn you're a silent crier

If I ever glance at the clock at 5:13 in the morning
My photographic memory will play for me
That time of us laying under the trees
Watching the night fade
Then attempting to figure out
How to get me inside without waking up my parents

When you dwell in my head I remember a few lessons
You taught me patience
Patience is good for the young naive soul

6 months of silence and suddenly the memory is no longer sweet
I think of you less
I receive a letter every few weeks
You sign your name with a heart
PS a promise that you'll be coming home soon
6 months ago I promised I'd wait for you

Lover I am lonely
I crave your arms and only your arms to hold me
But it's been 26 weeks without you and my patience is growing ever so weak
Meg B Apr 2014
Playing by all the rules,
or so it seems,
the out-law fears
nothing and no one
as she
places her backwards cap
atop her
full head of fine hair,
sunshades
hiding her wide
toffee-colored
eyes.

Chewing ******* a piece of
wintergreen gum
like a first baseman
and some chaw,
she grips the steering wheel
as a heavy clap of
bass
emits a thundering chorus
out her rolled-down windows
into the half-empty street.

Brow furrowed,
the out-law ponders her next move,
bobbing and weaving through
one-way roads;
the destination she knows,
but the route is more
a riddle
yet to be solved.

The light air
and brilliant rays of sun
that sneak behind
puffy white clouds,
the out-law senses
some promise
from the
universe.

Lungs still filled
with
smoky wisdom,
she reflects intricately
on the life
lived by she
in the past few months,
gaining insight
into her own
optimistically
curious
soul.

She slurps
her Diet Coke
thirstily
as her cottony mouth
forms words and phrases
she one day
wishes to utter.

Time and space,
they are dear friends of the
out-law,
so drive she does
down that
long
windy
road,
twisting and turning
on the beacon of self-discovery
and hope.
And
love.

The out-law
watches the sky,
fascinated
by the rich colors
the sun paints
as it falls into a state
of serenity,
and
the out-law feels so serene.

Leaving comfortability
and safety behind,
the out-law relishes
in the excitement of the unknown,
getting high off
the fumes
of the uncertainty
that looms.

On she drives.
JB Claywell Aug 2014
He wished he’d been born tough
instead of already broken down in ways.
Raised by an English teacher;
he didn’t complain about it,
but sometimes wished
it was by a linebacker
or first baseman instead.
Jesus Christ, just look at him!
He was a yard across at the shoulders
yet a good shove would’ve
put him on his ***.
He resented it sometimes;
especially considering the way
he was wired.
Like a pilot light
that’s always looking for a reason
to fire up all four burners
all at once.
Sometimes he wished
that he could fight his way out of a bar,
just once.
Spend the night on a jailhouse cot.
Go to the ER with a broken nose.
The adult in him knows that these are foolish thoughts.
He’s too old for that **** now,
pushing 40.
Sometimes he feels 25 and powerful.
Sometimes he feels geriatric and slow.
He likes himself better now than he did
10 years ago.
But, then wonders what could’ve been
and who he’d be if he’d been able
to draw his first breath just
15 minutes sooner.
In the end, he figures that
maybe he’d like himself less than he does
right now.
That’s the only thought
that saves him
now and then.

The pondering  of "what if" by a 39 y/o with Cerebral Palsy
Charles Sturies Jun 2017
Sandt Amaro and Karl Spooner on the old Brooklyn Dodgers.

My 2 all-time favorite players of my favorite team the Yankees are
an putfielder acquired in a transaction Vernon Webb
and the Rookie of the Year for, I believe, 1957
an outfielder first baseman Norm Cisbern.

My 2 favorite all-time Illinois basketball players were sixth men Ed Perez and Joseph Bertrand.

My 2 favorite all-time Detroit Lions are Bobby Cayne and Pork Walker with Ces Bingaman a nice third.

My favorite all-time Cleveland Browns are Otto Graham and Frank Gatsby.

My all-time 2 favorite Chicago Bulls are Michael Jordan and Dave Corzine.

Mordern-day-wise, I like Parig of the LA Dodgers, Steven Aren who last I saw was with the Washington Nationals, and in modern Illini football I loved Monty Wilson. He hit so hard and the sound of a prize recruit who never got in on a game. D'Angelo McGary and I liked the sound of the name. Duane Brantley who was a large for the time offensive lineman out of Chicago wo dropped out before he had a chance to play.

This is just scratching the surface, I guess, since I'm not into the star system per se.
Charles Sturies
Brianna May 2014
Hit
"Hit Run Score, We Want More!"
I hit,
I get to second,
Double.
Two outs, one on second.
"Batter up!"
Batter steps up to the plate
First pitch,
She grounds the ball
Out to the first baseman.
They're both rushing to first.
I'm rushing to third,
"BATTER OUT!"
So close.
Brianna Jun 2014
helloreactmarcoshe'sdiamondpoloshapepoemshallwritehomehelppitcher­catcherlessonsturnplaybatterboyhouseinsidehithiddenjustbeneathbab­ylittlelookingstupidpopularspacereallosermeansecretsadmitbaseseco­ndtalkingworthlessactionsbrokenridingstrugglecommentskitchenrushi­ngtakingsoftballwasn't creepy they're day street physical turns mom dolls taunting plates ghostly chase snow wander outside cat takes starts mumbles captive basement plate glad winner destroyed diamonds handle regret smart confidence amused irresponsible wallpaper mommy outs negatively untrusting dumbwaiter barbie aren't he's nobody's agrivated isn't temporarily teams double joins jealous backyard copy insecure upset creaky refuses bully claims team scratches grounds baseman fight run allow alive trying room worse comes god thank close place sky fact continue angels hiding years lose chair gone does nice know tell like lies practice things want score hate watch window left right held believe old mature afraid stare shell walks instead refuse negative steps game ball big everyday month positive join pitch playing turned worth new think answer leave perfect hard scary lonely beautiful floor lived places sight toys door protect says

Can they become more than the label,
*My 1.0K Words?
Jr Estinova Mar 2018
I DON'T GIVE A ****!"
WHY?
"You asking me why?"
"When was the last time we spoke ?:
"When was the last time you saw her?"
Who?
"Don't play stupid with me
I'm not tryna hear all that
I'm out
You are such ******* *******"

Your eccentric personality
The illusions
The constant confusions
The subtweets
The words
The allure
The pseudo care
The Korean noodles
The massages
The animal ***
The guilt
The phone calls
The texts
The drama
Repeat

We lie to lay with each other
To find out about each other
Till clever words
Make us distant
Eluding your illusions
A handful
Even for my two hands
Checking on me like a baseman in the ninth inning  
Patrolling my twitter is what keeps you winning

DMs got me sinning
DMs got me sinning
DMs got me sinning?

DMs got me feeling tremendous
Newness and
New man
New thing.

out in the west end
Wk kortas Jul 2020
It is, in its own fashion, a ballpark—there are dugouts,
(Though more kin to lean-tos if the truth be told)
A fence with advertisements, though its paint is cracked and faded,
And some of those firms testifying
To being tops in collars and canned foods
Have long since changed names or flat-out gone under,
But a ballpark nonetheless, and if you squint your eyes
Or find some other convenient method of self-delusion,
You can convince yourself it is a rather fine thing,
Happily oblivious to the fact that the infield
Is all bumps and tiny moraines
Covered with crownvetch and chickweed masquerading as grass,
The outfield rife with bark scorpions
Who frequently wander inside the lines.
Milling about this somewhat-short-of-pastoral greenish patch,
Wearing uniforms of a reasonable homogeny,
Is a curious, potentially combustible group of men:
Honest-to-goodness big leaguers whose off-field proclivities
Led Judge Landis to excuse them further participation,
Rope-muscled miners from Bisbee,
Carbide-lamp helmets tucked under their arms,
Callow boys taking a chance on this decidedly last-chance town,
One or two others with tangibly acute reasons
For staying in close proximity to the Mexican border.
Holding court in the midst of this collection
Is a man whose face was not visited by the smallpox
As much as it was wrapped up in its full embrace;
It’s old Charlie Comiskey who should be in jail, he grumbles
Man has more money’n he’ll ever need,
Hell, more than Stoneham or Ruppert.
No reason in the world he couldn’t pay his boys a fair wage,
But he treated ‘em like dogs, and if you starve it long enough,
Why, even the most loyal dog will turn on a man,
Ain’t that right boys
?, and a pair of his listeners,
Men named Chick and Swede
Who know of Comiskey’s parsimony first-hand,
Grimly nod their heads in agreement.
The speaker pauses for a moment, and as he does
He produces, seemingly from nowhere, a hip flask
(Brought forth like a seasoned magician
Pulling flowers from some gauzy handkerchief,
Or a card sharp finding an extra king in the very air itself)
And takes a long draught before continuing.
Look, I love this game--hell, no man loves it more
But it’s still just a **** game,
Just entertainment, like a circus or a rodeo.
Maybe we a took a few liberties with a game here and there,
But, you know, I knew folks who’d see the same Broadway show
Three, maybe even four times;
They knew how it would turn out, I reckon,
But it didn’t keep them from spending four bucks a ticket.
Well, what’s a ballplayer but an entertainer?
We still put on a good show, and no one gets hurt,
But because it’s a ballgame, you’d think we’d spit on the cross
.
With this, the circle breaks up, and men head to spots on the field
To field lazy fungoes and toss the ball around the infield,
And most of the on-lookers soon head back toward town
(Perhaps back to work at one of the smelters,
Their stacks blowing forlorn clouds into otherwise endless skies,
Or maybe to one of the sad houses on the far side of town
Where haunted-eyed Mexican ****** mechanically light candles
In supplication to saints whose efficacy they’ve come to doubt)
But the stragglers who stay behind are treated to the first baseman
Make a marvelous, almost magical, pickup of a short-hop throw
With the easy nonchalant brilliance which at one time
Brought hundreds, no thousands, of men to their feet in disbelief,
And as he sweeps his glove upward, he laughs
(Though with just a touch of restraint, a trace of the rehearsed)
And says See, boys? Once you are big league,
You are always big league
.
alifeissixtofiveunlessyoujiggletheodds
always trying to prove something, to neself, to the universe,

to the person down the street

ehh purple hair and fractional tennis *****, then

lead the plastic barriers,

remember the number

ohh saintly hell, I feel like the callous on my feet are even stronger than last month, and this walk is jazzy

so I go about proving the gods, or some diety, that this is, infact, tanglible...artifact to be exact

proving it to the widow who fancies the conversation more than the content,

proving it to pine needles who know they willl fall in two, three days, anyway


prove it to myself, and my toes, and my eyeballs

red flesh and bolstered blood,

can I have a candybar for sixpence from the richardsome magician in the sky?

no, he is occiupid with tobacco candy and the home baseman is comalainging about his peanut pickings


If only I was a kite, then fate would truely be out of my hands, and there wouldn't be any more reason to feel proud,

perhaps tied to a tree for an eternity, perhaps confused bewtee the medeterranean sea and south africa,


who could i be?
tonylongo Apr 2020
1.Garo Yepremian, the field goal kicker,
when he tried to throw a pass (with a football)
and it flew backward out of his hand
and was run in for a touchdown by the opposing team
in the SuperBowl. I did that when I was 12.

2. Bill Buckner, the first baseman,
when he bent over to pick up the weak grounder
(a baseball) that would have let him make the final out
in the World Series in 1986, the first one his team
would have won since the Stone Age,
and instead let the ball roll between his feet
out into the outfield. I did that when I was 9.

3. Vinko Bogataj, a Yugoslav ski jumper
who fell and flew sideways off the ramp
in a tangle of skis arms and legs, and was exhibited for
years on TV as "the agony of defeat". I did that over and over
whenever I tried to move upright on ice or hard-packed snow.
I still do.

4. LeBron James, who, at the end of the last game when
Cleveland won the NBA Finals, blocked a shot by
flying about fifty feet through the air in one second
(apparently descending from the ceiling)
and flattening an easy layup perfectly against the backboard.
I did that last Tuesday night, in my dreams.

5. Lorenzo Bandini, a Formula One race car driver for Ferrari
who died in a fiery crash in the 1967 Monte Carlo Gran Prix,
which I saw on TV when I was fourteen the same day,
though there must have been some broadcast delay.
There was also a delay before two crew members
went to pull him from the smoldering wreckage,
and as the cameras watched, there was a small
secondary explosion, and they dropped him and ran.
I'm sorry if this sounds like sick humor, but
until then my ambition in life was to drive Formula One.
I've never learned to drive.
It is time to have a good party enjoy a decent lamington
And eat chocolate and milk shakes and yeah
But we don’t need any of that. I can get passed this, I feel positive and I feel cool
I believe in myself to do anything
I drink beer in front of the yobbos they go scull scull scull
I say ok I will do just that
I can’t figure out what my dream was last night but
In hindsight it was a fucken nightmare and dreaming of it
Gets it out of my head
I play mr baseman
And I play it very loud and cool I love to have a beer with Duncan
But he isn’t my mate
Because he used me
He just cares for the richer end of town and not for my end
You see I wish the world was easy
But that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy
Because we are having a beer in the club and we get a beer gut
And we drink all the way Amarillo saying we need to party all night and say
Drink beer drink bourbon drink ***** drink softies drink wine drink cider and then get drunk
Party and we think about the wood chip which turned into the news paper which reads us the news but the internet is the best paper, save the trees and go online dudes
When our histories have finally been written, many, if not most, of the important things to have happened will not have been purposed or planned for — but will have happened in lieu of those things.

That College or University that you went to may have been in lieu of the one you initially thought you wanted to attend but couldn’t get into.

The woman you married may have been the best friend,
or roommate, of the girl you initially tried to date. But because of time or circumstance you ended up taking her out instead.

Like Reggie Jackson being traded from the Orioles to the Yankees, some of our best accomplishments are the result of finding ourselves in one situation in lieu of another.  My family physician, when I was a kid, only went to medical school because he was refused entrance into the university engineering program which had been his first choice.

How many of these alternate, and in lieu of, situations have impacted your life and maybe shaped the important events that went on to make all the difference?

Many times, life is calling out to us from places that we refuse to hear.  The universe has a plan, and the secret is to get in lockstep with that plan and value the options we are presented and the new choices it gives us.

I’m sure the doctors, scientists, farmers, and businessmen (all patriots), that became our Founding Fathers never intended to lead a new and emerging country to freedom and independence.

They were being called to something bigger than their original and proprietary decisions had mapped out, and history will forever record the importance of their answering that call.

The best parts of all of us are often those undiscovered.
They are sometimes most evident to others while being blind to ourselves.  As we recognize without help or assistance the talents of our children, we are often in the dark when it comes to seeing those same things in our own nature.

Every parent starts T-Ball or Pop Warner Football wanting their kid to be either a pitcher or quarterback. If that were allowed to happen, where would the great third baseman and linebackers come from?  We very often need the help of others to determine the right and correct roads for us to walk down.

Kris Kristofferson and Louis Armstrong did not have the greatest singing voices in the music industry.  They did however, go on to write —and sing — some of the greatest songs in popular music during the last 100 years.  We often need to go against the grain and swim up-stream to achieve our greatest levels of success.  The rain that falls on the highest peak in the Rocky Mountain range does eventually find its way to the ocean.  The route it takes is determined by something beyond its ability to control.  

The next time someone says to you: “You have a great voice; you ought to sing professionally,” or, “I think that’s a great idea; you should send it to a magazine,” maybe you should listen.  More than just that one person is reaching out to you …  

                               The Universe Is Speaking!

— The End —