Some say that time doesn't heal
but some say
they do some magic trick
and disappear
but deep down inside, the scars are still here
you might be hurt
but you are still you
and that is even truer than true

Long Sleeves.
Always long sleeves.
Even the summer.


Who here gets it?

Why won't these voices
Leave my head

They tell wrong
But there my best friends

They make me do things
That I do not like

They make scream
They fill me with fear

They sometimes make me
Hurt someone

I tell them no
But these voices control me

They make me cry
They make me sad

But there always there
When I'm alone

I beat my head to get them away
But what can I do to make them stay

They telle to ****
In the most unusual way

But I can't take a life
I would rather die instead

this is the youngest
you'll ever be
this is your time

i write about love
yet i know nothing of it
i dream about love
yet i know i will never get it
not the kind of love
your parents give you
nor the kind of love
your friends show you
i crave that kind of perfect love
that will make your heart feel infinite
that the warm feelings
that you cannot possibly put into words
would feel like it would
never end
that kind of perfect love
that would make your skin
feel like electricity
every time you touch
you feel a shoc-
no
that kind of love that
would make you feel
like a thunderstorm
bright and painful
yet a beautiful kind of pain
that you would willingly so
stand in the middle of a rain
i crave that kind of perfect love
that whenever you feel like
falling apart
you know someone will be there
waiting for you
to fall into their arms
and never let go
but who am i to talk about
love
when i can only
write, dream, and crave
that perfect love
i know nothing of

I can hear the rain
As it taps on my window
And I think back to a time
Where I'm laying in your bed
With the same rain against your window

And it shouldn't make me sad
The fact that you're hearing the rain
Against her window now
But yet, it does

As the water rushes toward the surface
it gently meets your fingertips and sends sensations all throughout your body
It feels new and exciting
Soon you find yourself completely immersed
It seemed infinitely beautiful at first glance
but now that you are under the surface it is quite the opposite of that

|s.s|

Alone alone alone
In my own ******* head
I swear im dying i swear im almost ******* dead
What i say or what i said
I want to play i want to live everyday
But we all have seperate paths
I just need somebody someone
To let me know that when i write im winning the fight .. i can see the light

The very first time that I injected
you into my veins was
the first time that I ever felt true
euphoria.
The high that you gave me
was the single most addictive feeling
that I could ever experience in my life.
My addiction lasted for
one year
six months
two weeks
three days
eighteen hours
twenty-three minutes
and fifty-two seconds.
When my supply ran out,
I crashed head on into withdrawal.
Symptoms varied from
sobbing, to emptiness, to nausea,
to the crippling fear of
no one ever loving me again.
I knew euphoria,
oh, God, did I know euphoria.
But the black hole in my chest
******* me into myself
until I barely knew
my own identity
was so foreign to me.
The darkness claws into you and rips
apart everything that you thought
you knew about yourself.
Losing my drug was like drowning
with burning lungs
and ignored screams
and watching you walk away
instead of saving me.
The weight of the universe sat
upon my shoulders and
held me down.
No matter how hard I fought,
I just could not pick myself up.
The wind was knocked out of me
at the mere thought of you,
and it took just over a month to
stop my blood shot eyes from
shedding any more tears.
The initial detox, however,
was not the hardest part.
Continuously living without
you in my system
took its toll.
At night, I reached out for you
after having a dream that I
spent one last time in your arms.
My mind played cruel practical jokes
when it told my eyes to see you
every ******* where that I go.
My waist still feels phantom touches
from when you came up behind me
and wrapped yourself around me,
becoming one with the girl you loved.
My hands shake and quiver
as if tiny earthquakes are rupturing
inside of me
because they crave your
warm hand to hold.
The bits of you that are still
left in my system are no longer
the drug that I once knew.
You are now a poison
that runs inside of me.
I wish that you would have just let me
overdose
instead of force me to crave you.
Detox lasted for a month and a half,
but living without you has gone on for
four months,
three weeks,
six days,
twelve hours,
seventeen minutes,
and fifty-one seconds.
It did get easier after the initial hit,
but the ache of you
has never left my bones.