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stargazer May 2018
Left my opinions at the door
No one cares what I think
There could be more left in store
But I'm standing on the brink

The brink of losing
Losing all that matters
I take my time choosing
But everything is in tatters

I'm at the brink of falling
All it takes is a breath
I'm only really stalling
My spiral into death
stargazer May 2018
Your demons
Your monsters
Your heathens

They all have something in common, you see
When you don't believe, they cease to be
You are the only one stoking the flames.
stargazer May 2018
When I was younger,
My temper had run out
So I took a small piece of metal
I believe it was from our fencing
I took the slender stick of metal
And I hit the tree
Again
and again
Trying to release this monster of anger that consumed
There were lines in the tree from where the metal had clashed with it
The bark split where I had hit it
I felt bad about what I had done to the poor tree
But other than that I didn't think much of it

That is until I saw it today
It has been years since I abused that tree in anger
The bark is white now,
It healed over the scratches
But you can still see through the bark where it was split
Where it was broken

I am jealous
For that is not how my scars are
My scars cannot be seen
No matter how deep down you look
My imperfections lie in my very soul
I have covered each blemish carefully
They are not visible even with the most complex microscope
The most advanced magnifying glass couldn't catch a glimpse of them

My scars will forever remain unseen
The hurt that you can't see is often the most horrible kind of hurt
stargazer May 2018
The warm liquid traces down my face
A deep ache follows wherever it travels
They flow like blood
Relentless
Drip
                        Drip
              ­                                               Dripping
and
Slip
                        Slip
                                                             Slipping
Salty
Like sweat
But not

Sweat is a sign that your body is getting stronger
Tears are made of your body breaking down

I wonder when all my tears will run out
When I will simply cry dust
Because the pain is too much

I wonder if one day I will drown
Suffocate
Choke
On the liquid agony that leaks from my eyes
stargazer May 2018
Sadistically speaking
You're out of time
The world is shrinking
You've lost your last dime

Sadistically speaking
You've played your last round
You should stop seeking
For the approval of the crowd

Sadistically speaking
We are all dead
Or breaking
Just a group of empty heads

But if we're speaking sadistically
What's the point of anything?

If you can't look at the bright side
Why look at all?
Does it hurt your pride?
Is negativity some kind of protocol?
Look on the bright side, jeez
stargazer May 2018
I put myself together
Over and over
Bruised, bent, and broken
The damage I cannot reckon

I fix myself everyday
Always broken a different way
Pretending I'm okay

I am a broadway star
My acting is steallar
I never miss a cue
In anything I do

The lights come on
A smile I dawn
Impressing the crowd
Their cheers grow loud

Time for the finishing act
This requires wit and tact
I take a slow, careful bow
I see a girl in the crowd mouth, 'wow'
stargazer May 2018
Just when we think everything has been said
Someone says something new
When we think everything has been done
There is something to do

We don't fully comprehend the meaning of everything
We use the term so casually
But really we don't undersatnd
Everything happens gradually
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