i remember how it felt when we were sitting on top of your car
staring out into this little city
with expensive taste
the feeling of my head leaning onto your shoulder was so comforting
the sun was setting and your body was guarding the sun from shining on my face
we sat there in complete silence for a few minutes
and then you asked me how my grandma passed away
so i said it
you listened and wrapped your arm around me when i got weak
then you opened up to me and i grabbed your hand and held it
i kept looking at you and i heard the hurt in your voice
and i wish you would let me in the walls you've built around
so we can light a match and burn it down
but there is no doubt in my mind
that if you could
you'd crack my ribcage open
and pull my heart right out when ever you wanted to
and then id be left with nothing
but the words you said to my ear
that have sunk into my veins
and wont get out of my skin

holding onto you is so hard
letting you go is even harder
you've got me all choked up
like ribbons of a balloon
tied around my neck
you're sweeping me off the ground
but killing me at the same time
and sometimes i wonder why i feel
so helpless
i was happy before i met you
then i had a taste of you
and got greedy and even more happy
and now I'm scared that when you leave
I'm going to consist of nothing,
but an empty heart

i remember it was almost sunset
and i was sitting on the passenger seat
with you handling the wheel next to me
and we nearly crashed into another car
i could swear i never felt more alive yet terrified
but when you got my hand and told me
"feel my heartbeat"
i placed my hand on your heart
it was beating so fast
but my focus was on your blue eyes
this was the first time i felt something so surreal
it felt like i was starring out to the sea
i got so lost in the waves of your heartbeat and the shock in your eyes
that i didn't realize you started holding my hand
and then you kissed me and i didnt think much of it
because i thought id see you again soon
now i know that i should of kissed you longer