Well 19 such
A big #
Improving my heart
To be ready for heart breaks

I sit down and smell innocence
Sunday afternoon, playing
Hide-and-seek on bikes,
Climbing over heaps and piles
Of extended-backyard-adventures
My friend looks at me scared
Worried about crashing mid-air
I only think of home
Sticky black poison that
Almost strangled me to death
Once, when life was simpler
Despite all that I smile
At diesel and benzene
Exhaust smog and fumes
Turn blue skies even brighter
High on childhood dreams
If only I inhale, deep enough
A scent that takes me back
Over miles of detachment
And oceans of growing up
A memory fuming of
Family and safety,
Only needing a engine
To move forward in life

Holding on, hands grappling
Wrapping arms around air
Fleeting, leaving
Urges, lurking
Out of reach
Bubble burst
Glass shattered
Chances lost
Among the ashes of
Could-have-been-but-wasn’ts
Last convulsions
Pulsing
Through my fingers
Lingering loud

Dear readers , its that time
again for me to talk to you
and explain. I write from the
core of my heart. I write
because he exists from the
start. Its hard to weave all
these emotions under your
skin. Its hard to love in
silence because to others
your love might seem
as sin.

Dear readers , the heart
wants what it wants. No
culture or religion or God
can put a stop. We as living
human beings were created
from the same star dust.
Therefore setting no rules
for love should be a must.

Dear readers , love is a
mixture of pure emotions.
It's not just about being
***** and craving lust. It's
about that spark that's set
in the depths of your souls.
Its about that energy thats
created when we kiss and
touch. Its sacred and
pure.

Dear readers , don't
complicate love. Its a
blessing from the heavens
above. The best gift we
could ever have. Feel it ,
adore it , obsess it , hold
it. Plant it in your souls ,
plant it where ever you
go. Dear readers please
don't deny this and say
no. Carry love with you
on every road you
go ~

I wanted suicide. My eyes
could tell about my living
hell. But letting go of all the
ugly and hurt was the key of
ending it all. Holding onto
beautiful things was the
only way to survive.

Holding onto love had me
living my life. Happy and
free it made me. My heart
felt what it was craving for
all along. It wanted to be
caressed and  adored.
My heart never asked
for more ~

I feel numb and cold. I
feel isolated and bored.
My hands have sinned
again. This body is no
longer holy without you
by its side. Without your
hands caressing my
arms and thighs.

I painted a map on the
wall. Planned to build a
raft to float across the
ocean hoping to land
on your shores.

I can't sleep alone
anymore. I have to
move next to you. I
forgot what is it like to
feel. Lost my appetitive
and will to survive. I
need you badly in my
bed sheets tonight. I
stained the walls
with geography.

Paint splattered on my
shirt. And now I'm left
with nothing to do but
to write you a love note
and head out to build
that boat.

I'll be kicking these
waves soon. By dawn
i'll be wrapped up in
your arms. And we'll
be kissing again under
the moon light. But now ,
i have these feral
waves to
fight ~