Soft skin
And fluffy hair
His personality
Rare

A boy I barely knew
Lost in his own world
Found himself in his writing

Picked up his pen
And the words flew

Black and white comes too easily
Forgets to see past his shadow
I try and remind Tiempo
When Fate has time

A friend made
Not so breezily

Curls and deep thoughts
Late night poems sent
Back and forth
I’m thankful for my poet friend

God-send?

Let’s begin.

‘I kissed you and your lotion kissed me back’

Little thoughts
And smiles

Big realizations
Let’s just talk

Bring more wine
And a silly mood

And I’ll go wherever
You want me to.

Hello Tiempo,

It’s been a while
I missed your smile

I think we’re both doing better
Just separate
But I don’t see that as an issue

Your mind is beautiful
I can hear the gears turning
Everyday you’re learning

We both over share
Without a care
Oh well
I don’t mind
if you don’t.

Fate is learning too
They finally found a family to call their own
Despite the lack of blood relation
Kind of a strange situation

She hopes she didn’t hurt you too much
He knows you’re strong
But still wishes they hadn’t made a mistake

But life happens
Fate and time had to meet
To work together

I’m so thankful
To have you near
Even if sometimes
You’re like a worm in my ear

We are pretty good at helping
But we don’t like to listen

Stubborn and hurting
That’s ok
I don’t mind starting to grow
And it shows

Can’t wait to see the man you become
No more Mr. Lonely
Just Tiempo
The only

The
Boy
Who
Found
A way
To
Understand.

At twenty one years old I still feel like a child
I wonder when I will have it all figured out

At twenty one years old my hair is growing out in an awkward style and my body has become something foreign to me

At twenty one years old I look in the mirror and wonder where the self I knew went and if they are still there

At twenty one years old I wear glasses and brush my hands through my hair

At twenty one years old I started noticing the stretch marks that decorate my thighs

At twenty one years old my favorite place is my bed and my favorite company is him and my cats

At twenty one years old I’m finally beginning to know myself in a way I never have

At twenty one years old I can move forward away from my past, creating my own future

At twenty one years old all I want is to live in a cottage with my cats, to create art and get fat

At twenty one years old I am learning to take care of this body I have. I’m learning to self comfort and take time to my self

At twenty one years old I started loving my personality more than my appearance

At twenty one years old I feel more free than I ever have

At twenty one years old I am poor and impulsive but my mind is healing and my heart is full

At twenty one years old I am hopeful for the future I can enjoy but I’m trying to live in the present

At twenty one years old I take one day at a time. On my bike ride home I feel the wind and smell the air, I appreciate the trees that I pass by

At twenty one years old I am so much

I get it now

502 Bad Gateway

what a rather disappointing thing to say

I hope it goes away...

The soft willow tree
swayed in the wind
and breathed with the sea

It’s branches became twisted
more rigid and splintered
It’s breath more ragged

It’s roots stopped growing
The trunk turned dark
leaves fell one by one until nothing was left

Dried out standing alone
It began to rot

No one likes a rotted tree

No one likes a lost soul

A smaller tree sprouted in a new place
Near the ocean

It didn’t sway as softly
Or breathe with the sea
But
it
never
let
itself
rot

Imperfect selfs

Yet no sign of despair

Love is unconditional
Despite the mistakes

All the little things
Fall away

Only you.

I read your poems

Is this what you were trying to say?

I wanted to die for a long time

To give in to eternal sleep
To end the constant anxiety
No more responsibilities
Only rest.

I even tried once.

Now I find myself wanting to live

For so long I lived for others
So they wouldn’t have to lose me

Now I want to live for myself

I know I won’t always have good days
And I will still struggle with anxiety

But if I can live for myself
Than it’s worth it
If I can stop fading
And start shining like I used to
I just might be okay.

Sometimes I hide away from my reality

I wander off into smoke filled rooms and fall into blue screens

I sleep under warm clouds that threaten to smother me

My cheeks flush

I live inside my made up world to escape what I cannot face

I lie in a bed of guilt and despair for days on end

Unable to move
Unable to feel

I lose myself in this suffocating realm
I lose all signs of life

Until I can barely breathe.






Sometimes I escape just for some air

But I found that oxygen runs through my heart, not the wind



I came back to hide again

But this time couldn’t stay

For my smoke filled rooms were full of toxic gas
And the blinding blue hurt my eyes

My clouds suddenly felt weighted
suffocating me in a sick warmth


I guess my hidden world wasn’t made for me
But for my younger self



Unable to comprehend their surroundings
Unable to process



Now I leave it behind and step into today




Breathing in the achingly beautiful

And learning how to feel.

How am I supposed to know my soulmate?

How can I make that decision?

How can I decide my fate?

I am still so young.

I love him right now,

But will I forever?

What if time goes by
and I can’t remember
the love he gave me
the joy I felt

What if he moves for me
only to regret his decision

What if I don’t want him around one day
but I’ve already committed?

How am I supposed to know my soulmate?

How can I make that decision?

How can I decide my fate?

I have so much life left to live.

I like it with you
but what if one day I don’t
I can’t see the future
but I hope that I won’t

I hope for a perfect life with you

but perfection is implausible

rushing feels illogical

but if I do not decide eventually

we may be separated eternally


I hope one day I can know

How to recognize my soulmate

How to make the decision

to change my fate.

The air flows through my AC unit noisily
I stare at the ceiling thinking about my life,

What I could be

Laying in bed so often makes me feel worthless
As if getting enough sleep is lazy,

I just need rest

My mind is my enemy, every-time I find peace
It forces me to relive my regrets,

I wish I knew how to make the voices cease

I was taught to be overly critical of myself
And I’m having a hard time unlearning,

Reliving memories I had put on a shelf

I’m trying my best but it’s so tiring
How can I escape the constant spiraling?

Learning to love myself as I am
Is harder than I thought,

When will I begin to understand?

I am not perfect

I wish I was.

I wish I could be what you deserved.

Your sweatshirt smells of smoke and laundry detergent, just like you

You would not even exist without women

How dare you try to claim them

How dare you try to own their bodies
To control their wombs

How dare you disrespect the mother that gave you life

How dare you hate us when we created you

She was so young
And then she was not
He left with no shame
And she was named a *****

Why must you betray my heart when I’ve given all I had to you?

I’m growing and changing
Sorry it took so long

I’m learning how to fit in
And sing my own song

All my mistakes
Were part of my masking

Doesn’t excuse them
Just please understand
The difficulty
Of the task

I’m this way for a reason
I can’t change my seasons
But I’m getting help

Learning to take off
My
Mask

Don’t speak, listen

When you need it
Just ask

A little girl no longer so young
She weeps because she is older
Forced off a cliff she hadn’t seen
Flailing,
      screeching,
                   grasping,
for a sturdy point to take hold
But alas not one remains
She falls
They watch
She dies.


By: Sophia Coe

Soft rises
Deep falls

Rushing water filling my ears
I wish to open my eyes

Surrounded by the comfort of Poseidon

Schools of fish swim by my legs
Nearby lives
A titan

I squint and feel the sting of salt water seeping in
Discomfort at first
Turns into wonder

A world within a sea
My dreams floating
Along with me

I hit the sea floor
Sand brushes my feet
Awaking my thoughts once more

Bubbles floating up and away
I decide I want to stay

Shells with endless twists and turns

Will they ever learn?

I still remember the boy with the sandy hair
He told me:

To be one with the sea
Is to
Have found a way
To be
Free.

I am never good enough for myself

Despite all my attempts

I fail to reach my ever high standards
That I only hold for myself

The cruel adjectives I use to describe myself while staring through the mirror

break my seven year old self’s heart

When did I stop loving her?

Mother

Why did you let us go home to him


Why did your world not stop when I told you


I am so full of your love

But at night I wonder if your negligence discounted it

I know your mind is like mine, scattered and foggy

I know you were lost too

But I needed someone to get help

And I asked you.

The naked trees surround
A dark winding concrete road

They’ve lost their decor
Once bearing leaves with color
Now absent

Knotted branches resemble the *** holes
A few ghost towns

Abandoned souls.

Spirits sweep the path in a dust

Snowflakes appearing alongside
Intertwined with the freezing air

Falling slowly
Softly
Slowly

Just as
Snow
Found its home on the ground

So may I

Lost but not searching

Monsters lurking.

Your beautiful brown eyes full of sorrow
it feels wrong to see them so sad.
Your head is cloudy full of familiar thoughts
judging each misstep.
You see yourself as a failure
A boy who couldn’t measure up.
You tell me how you hate yourself
how you wish you didn’t exist.
Your critical mind may only see your failures
But I try and remind you of your success’
I see you for who you are
Full of love and laughter
All you want is to make the world smile
I just wish it would smile back
You care so much for everyone else
That you forget yourself
Perhaps that’s why you find it hard to love
When you look into the mirror?
You’ve come so far and worked so hard
So why do you let yourself think all these negative things?
To me, you are kind, thoughtful, caring, smart, hardworking, loving, handsome, and my favorite person. I hope one day you can see me as I see you. You are so perfect to me.

And in that moment,
your eyes were full of love

And all
I could see
was you.

You used to take me shopping
You let me get new things

You thought it might help me forget
The hurtful words you liked to scream

But I never wanted your baggage
You disguised as your love

I just wanted a dad

I wanted genuine love, the kind that doesn’t have a price
But you don’t  even know what love is

I’m sorry your dad hurt you
I’m sorry your brother was mean

But I wish you would’ve healed
Instead of taking it out on me.