And in that moment,
your eyes were full of love

And all
I could see
was you.

I wrote out my trauma
like a letter for someone else

I’m not sure why,
but I needed it to be seen

To be heard

Something that always confused me
was why I could never talk about those things

For some reason
saying what needs to be said
wasn’t welcome in my home

I wanted to die for a long time

To give in to eternal sleep
To end the constant anxiety
No more responsibilities
Only rest.

I even tried once.

Now I find myself wanting to live

For so long I lived for others
So they wouldn’t have to lose me

Now I want to live for myself

I know I won’t always have good days
And I will still struggle with anxiety

But if I can live for myself
Than it’s worth it
If I can stop fading
And start shining like I used to
I just might be okay.

Your brown eyes softly stare
into my starless sea

My endless story
You listen, no urgency

I hear your heart beat as I lay on your chest
I count the beats,
until my eyes give in to rest

I’ll hold your hand so you can fall asleep
I’ll visit you in your dreams
My heart is yours to keep

i need to stop
setting myself on fire
to keep you warm.