At first I thought it was the nights
I thought the nights were the worst part
The sudden fits of loneliness that come at 3am
The tv I have to watch to dull the pain
The words I have to write to drain the pain
Falling asleep alone

Then I thought it was the mornings
I thought the mornings were the worse part
The happiness I feel right after a dream
The empty spot next to me
The empty spot reminding me
You're still gone

But then I realized it was the day
The days were the worst part
Days full of little events I used to tell you about
Days of starting to type out a message
Days of erasing the words I was going to say
Because you're gone one more day
{bcg}

Violated
Body Invaded
Teeth scraping against vile pavement
Flashes I still try to erase
Haunt my day to day
Stop holding me down
it's not funny now
this isn't how
it can't be how
For ****'s sake
This can't be the way
this actually goes down.

The Pain is bad
but the shame
that's what really eats me away
Humiliation & blame
Like tar polluting my veins
don't tell anyone
whatever you do
don't tell anyone
It's not worth it
Nobody cares
and nobody wants to know.
Do your best to let it go,
Get over it.
Don't ruin the show.
the star needs to shine
don't stand in the way
don't tell anyone
it won't even matter someday.

paper.
your skin, it's like paper;
pale, translucent, fragile, and yet --
it comes from something so strong.
i wanted to write all over you, make you
mine
but i couldn't, out of fear you'd shred
i was never good with words, i know, but try to understand --
it's the thought that counts
and the thoughts i pen down
on this, my temporary
paper

There are stories in your eyes.

I never told you how
sometimes I fell asleep
with the thought that you
were perhaps the moon-

always disappearing
with the dawn.

To face this day in the still of night
How brave am I to tears
And decades of time
Wrapped in memories