Part One

                              A  American Madman's Farwell

I was fried from the scene in LA the lights the fake women with the perfect smiles and quick to jump in bed mentalities that if thinking you were a casting director were all to eager to sell there souls .

The were twisted insane drug addicts maybe that's why I had grown to feel at home amongst them and there demented ways.
I had grown numb to the excess the high quality drugs and all night binges .

My mornings were like rising from the dead more agony than pleasure
I found even now to arise from the crypt it took far more than a stiff drink and a good **** I had to dam near summon a voodoo priestess to bring me back to the living good thing even the masters of the occult all desired to be famous and were already here .

Everyone was after the fast track that quick fix and I was just after yet another story.
I was just another snake in the garden all to eager to take advantage of the first opportunity to strike the innocent then leave them with a expensive habit and some cab fair in the morning .

I sat there as I do now ice in glass bottle on the table frustrated in need  of something more one last adventure was on the horizon .
And my sights were set on the land down under .

Were the heat and mystery surrounded my thoughts where the page could breathe and my thoughts could  take flight one last time .
I sat there a addict in need of another fix one that only a finally dose of adrenaline and adventure could curb my desires .

My choice was made long before my bags were packed.
and few lines and some stiff drinks were all I desired to see this road to its end .

I paid my bill packed my **** and was ready to be lost .
L.A. was a mistake always willing to happen and a new Atlantis destined to be at the bottom of the sea .

I was buckled in  and blown out of my mind as the 747 blasted from tarmac bound for escape pointed towards the sky .
I was higher than Jesus and bound for a story that would be far beyond the depths of my own madness .

Sir would you like a drink ?
The stewardess asked me when we were stable within the clouds.
You can fill in the blank when it comes to my reply .

Just make sure it's a double .

Please fasten your belts ladies and gentlemen the madness will begin shortly .

I was frozen for ages
afraid to reach for the sun
Battling myself with myself
and neither side has won

I am she who battles demons
I am she who prays for snakes
I am she with many fears
I am she who never breaks

I am sharper than obsidian
I am stronger than steel
No longer will my head hang low
because of how I feel

She had no reason and I wasn't going to ask.
Her  body left as her thoughts I was removed from long ago.

The rides that we viewed from the pier the sunrise and passed drinks I was a phantom a shadow of the man who gave all to the page and nothing to her.

No magic holds more true than the waves crashing endless into the fading darkness shore .

I had stood long before and I would stand long after .
They all leave you empty as when you first met.

This was far from my last .
The page held more than a shallow hearts departure .

There's no regret in goodbye .
Just a change if scenery.
A bottle in the sand and my thoughts to themself

She left the room.
And left me together thinking I'd be torn apart.

But my thoughts are all that has ever been the whole of me .

And the silence played endless in perfection with the crashing tide.

Your passion remains where they leave just the same.

Even though you linger
Through my thoughts
I know now,
Finally—
that it is over.
The black and blue XNY watch you bought
Has stopped ticking,
It has died—
Our time is up,
Wont you run along now?
It seems I was never
Worth the ink and paper anyway.

Even though you linger
Through my thoughts
I know now,
Finally—
That it is over.
The Olivetta's ink ribbons
Have dried up
And no longer will those keys strike,
Embedding your ink onto paper.
Our time is up,
Wont you run along now?
It seems you were never
Worth the time of day anyway.

I know now,
Finally—
That it is over.
Run along now,
Run along and don’t look back
I was never worth your time anyway.

Forgotten fights lost conversations and past conquests loom heavy in this scene of good times and past regrets .

Can you take me to that place we know   exists and all to often ignore sweetheart I'm not looking to change just be in the moment.

Dim lights and what never was the fire is a passion that never dies just is passed to another group for more of the same .

One last line and maybe take another home the emptiness suits some as time will bury us all.

Tonight is all that matters .
As we taste the wine that yesterday will never recall.

I'm the poet in the chaos and the writer in the moment That need be
Just a pawn of The words sweetheart I will be gone tommorow just the same.

Its all in a good time and a chapters end .

I will miss it one day.
Question is will they ever miss me.

Adios

Gonz