SCHIZOPHRENIA
A long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation.
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Thank You Dearest Readers

Thank You Dearest Readers! I’ve created a poetry story but you make them alive
I’ve nearly give up along but you encourage this poetry story to survive
Every read, every vote and every comment counts
Driving my head into full speed, dancing non-stop in a beat of a beautiful sound

Thank You Dearest Readers! For all the love and care
Your simple words of saying “stay strong”  I feel them really I swear
Yet this is only a poetry story but to me most emotions are true
I’ve been to the darkest clouds but somehow you clear my gray and blue

Thank You Dearest Readers! For all the ideas and corrections
Pointing out your views truly help me travel to a right direction
You really deserve my respect and admiration
Adding some flavor to what I’ve baked, a sweet cake with dedication

Thank You Dearest Readers! How I love to shout out your names
To all of you who helped in one way or another and played my sport your game
My Dearest Readers, Thanks for a beautiful journey
This is “MY SCHIZOPHRENIA”  and this is MY STORY…..

Until Then…
Love n' Care...

Mysterious Aries

THE END

Dark sympathizes with the night
The light understands what’s with the day
Colors labeled what’s on left and right
Giving reason to who’ll go and stay

Simply justice that was out of sight
Don’t know that day and night are made of clay
That grays are white
And whites are gray

Skin colors supposed to be no height
Something we have to weigh
But why with it we learn to spike
And distance our hearts some miles away

So what’s the beauty of that site
Let us all hope that there’ll be a place one day
Where grays are white
And whites are gray

9/8/2015
Mysterious Aries

When I was 22
I came across a man.
I immediately knew
he was my soul mate.

I felt that Id known him
Indefinitely and that we'd
Always been together.

We fell in love and married.

My husband is a modest man.
His greatest quality is
Kindness, followed closely
by his sense of humor.
He is also very intelligent,
wise and humble.

He is a truly superlative
Human being.

What is most important
Is that he has loved me
Unconditionally, for 31 years
We are both 53. And I have
Returned his love.

Our marriage is sacred
and something as apparently banal
As holding hands,
Is a sacrament.

His great hobby is to
tinker on Lotus cars.

He has 3 cars and
A man cave that is truly
A shrine to cars
And car parts.

The shrine has
It's own furnace
And air conditioning.

You have to make sure...
To keep your cars warm
In Winter!
We live in Minnesota,
after all!

There are some areas
where we could grow.

One area is that he
occasionally, does not take care
of his physical health.
I then, worry about his health
for him.  

But, ultimately, he is an adult.
He has to make his own choices
And I have to accept
his health choices.

He is a manly man, and
is very stoic.  That is not
my favorite quality.
He will not share his pain
with me.

What I have learned is that part of
Love is to accept your spouse's
weaknesses.

In that way
I've fallen in love with his stoicism.
It's part of the whole of
Who he is.
You have to love the WHOLE person.

Every day I appreciate him.
Every day I tell him
how much I love him
Every day I am grateful
to have such a wonderful man
in my life.

What a blessing it is!
There is nothing better in life,
than my husband!  

When he enjoys tinkering
with his cars,
I am truly happy for him and
I share in his joy.

I want to grow old with Dave
I want to retire with him.
We want to retire to Oregon.

I want to LOVE him
Until my dying breath.

Id like to be with him,
Forever.

Beyond Death,
As well.

I believe Love
transcends death.

i thought that it would be okay to fall in love with only his eyes
but that's a wrong thing to do
it's 2am and im thinking about kissing his soul

i want to be part of his life
watching him smile all the time
look at his eyes for a long time
singing together in the middle of the night
hugging and warming each other hand
but that's a impossible things to do

his path is different from mine
he's the guy that only princess can get
he's the guy that all girls are talking about
and maybe he will never look at me even
o
  n
     c
        e

One day, you'll awaken,
with blood shot eyes,
scratching at a five o'clock shadow,
even though it's seven o'clock
in the morning, and
wonder where it all went wrong. Where she all went wrong.

When the arches of her feet stopped
tiptoeing across the room
to kiss you good morning.
When the parallels of her calves
started making diagonals
when laying on the bed.
When the crook of her elbows
no longer wrapped around you
like the beautiful ribbon on the present you gave to her last Christmas.

Do you even know where that present is?
It's there,
up there on the shelf collecting dust
along with all the "I love yous"
and other promises that you stash away for cold winters nights,
when you crave her warmth,
and long to feel the chill of her sapphire-painted fingernails.

But somewhere between the cicadas of summer and the apples of autumn, you lost her along the way.
You lost the way her hair finds its way onto every surface of your house.
You can't find the way her nose wrinkles when she laughs,
even if you turn over all the couch cushions,
and look under the rug.

You check your file cabinets for the way her chest heaves when she sleeps,
and check in the pantry for the memories of her propped up on her elbows,
looking out the window sill at the rain,

But all that's left are phantoms of her amber scent,
and ghost-smiles that have all but gone stale.

I was obsequious towards you.... opening up to you, I was an impressively sedulous suitor,

Didn't I constantly show my love; like a doting concubine,

yet never was I supposed to.

Did things I'd never wish to again do, You were always lethargic returning any affections.

You're  constantly an exorbitantly  cruel lover, on too many occasions you've left me; feeling, clinging, wishing & praying that your bitter tortures -  would end.

Morbidly I'd crave you like a killer craves the death of his victim's.

Oh there's no end, no relapse or realse, my tormentor, my seemingly drug of choice--is you!

I  sincerely felt a cordial love & dislike for how you've had me susceptible to this elegiac experience.

Unmerciful you cast away my heart and dealt my soul a mighty blow.

NEVER again  would I be your willing victim,  you're  antipathies & archaic behavior  leaves me wishing for a way out, since you've made me seem more like the enemy.

This love's a beautiful beast & so oblivious to my demise...

I'm still obligated....

I've vowed to stay, fight comes what may...

  yet & still You make it clear I'm disqualified before a race could ever be won.....

Why?

My questions unanswered
as if I've never vocalized a retort!

IVE COME TO REALIZE THERE'S NO HOPE FOR ME

☆♡

Always Me Ayeshah ™ ®
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