The few years I had bad bones in my body
are years I regret.
But maybe bones shed like snake skin does
and the bad bones
withered away.
I pride myself on being a good person -
people know it
and feel safe with telling me their problems
without uttering
a word to anybody else.
But I still worry if I'm good enough to be considered
a good person.
If I said it, then I am a good person, right?
Is it enough though?
I'm not so sure.

I'm the person who cleans up after
parties -
the kind of person who makes the
host ask
"Who cleaned up?"
and leave the room wondering who the
kind guest was.
Maybe it's because it eases my
troubled mind
when I'm the only one who's awake,
but then
you come down the stairs and I feel
a sudden calm
as you hold me in your arms.

One day the sun rose
and it graced my face with light
while I still felt rain.

With you, I hang up the phone
like I’m taking a bandaid off --
swiftly and quickly.
They say that way,
there's much less pain.
Which is strange, because
I'm still able to feel some pain,
even if I pound on the "end call"
button to make not talking to you
less painful.

I have never felt more beautiful
with mascara running down my face
when you drunkenly told me you wanted
to marry me with your head in the toilet.

In the morning,
you said "I shouldn't
have said those things...

but they are very true."

When you put your hand over my heart,
I swear that's when everything changed.

When you drive,
and you see cars
in front of you
with their blinkers on
and you wait
to see when the
blinkers will all
blink together -

that's how it felt
when I was waiting
for both of our heartbeats
to be in sync with each other.

You make me feel like
I've got sunbeams
shooting out from
every pore of my being.
I never thought I'd feel
content with you not here,
all the while still craving
you behind me kissing
my neck and caressing
my hips and hands.

Visit me in my dreams tonight.

I cried
when Eleanor and Park
held hands for the first time.
Maybe it’s that memory
of a first relationship thing.
Or maybe it’s just so sweet
that it makes you a little sick
in the best way possible.
But it’s probably because
I thought about you
the entire time I read it
and about how I still can feel
every fingerprint you’ve grazed
across my skin from September to now.