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Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
I couldn’t sleep.
My brain shivered when I moved my eyes.
I felt invincible
“Invincible” fails to describe it.
Then I was a cockroach
Crawling like a little bug
My head missing each obstacle
Just enough to feel them
Brush their matter against me
Blowing a rush of air back at me
Warning me my choices are crucial.
Cutting it close to the end
But - I don’t mind it.
-I’d be a liar if I said
I didn’t like it this way-
Some fear the discomfort called the unknown.
I welcome it with open arms
A gift in each hand.
As long as it never bores me.
Life must never be boring.
Fear is inevitable
It is always present
My greatest weakness.

Life is not the time to find your purpose
It is the time to create it
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
It was a night of manic dreams and
Ear shattering ringers from smoking cigars
Beyond counting.
I thought puffing one would bring me
Sunshine
It dumped me in a hole.
I never stay in one place long enough
To take care of what needs taking care of.
On the hustle from one cloud to the next.
Happiness flooding my veins
Till I can’t take any more of it
Then I spend days in a freezing cold bed
A house that isn’t mine
Stuck in a hole
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
The state of things
It’s a crisis
The shame it brings
It’s a crisis
Isolation
It’s a crisis
Mass hysteria
It’s a crisis
Senseless dying
It’s a crisis
Divided nations
It’s a crisis
Spreading virus
It’s a crisis
But the rivers are flowing
Clear. The trees are growing
Years of filth walking astray
Birds are singing
Voices ringing
Through sacred skies of blue and grey
The blind now see the sun rays shining
The worst of times have silver linings
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
She came from a broken home
She moved to New York to become an editor
He fled Belfast City to make his way as a fighter
After his brother was blown up in a car bombing
It was summertime when the ocean breeze
Climbs up the hills, flows through the fields into the trees.
He could see the harbour. He could see the city lights
The tall buildings, the millions of people
He was alone, lonely, alien, afraid.
Their paths intersected by mere chance
By the ball fields on the edge of town
Their eyes met each other
As a summer storm blew in over the field
The grey clouds rumbled
And rained down on them
They ran into the trees for cover
In their scant summer clothes.
Their heads turned slowly as their eyes met for a second time
The laughter started when he said the rain ruined his haircut
They embraced
They kissed
They made love in the rain
She took him back to her place and did it all over again
He moved into her apartment on the ugly side of town
They would talk about the state of things
The pandemics, the hysteria, the great writers
The music, the people they hated, the people they loved
They were at home with each other
One day he woke up to find
She had gone
And not left a single thing behind
No note, not even a goodbye
He never fought another fight
He drove around town for days chain smoking cigars
The ones she hated the smell of but told him he looked
He looked like a movie star when he smoked them
He went to the undertaker and asked if they did walk-ins.
He drove up the mountain
Where people dumped their garbage
He looked down the cliff to see the unwanted refuse.
“That’s me.” he said.
His body was never found
The undefeated fighter met his match.
She delivered the knockout punch.
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
He handed out love
Like it was an object
In a gift-wrapped box
With gift receipt taped on
After few times use
They went to the store
They got a full refund
He never got back
What he freely gave

I’m still young
He thought
I’m just enjoying life
He thought
I really care about those women
He thought
I’m being honest about my feelings
He thought
I’ll find the right one this way
He thought
Twenty-eight women later

He was more degraded
Than ever before
The number wasn’t impressive
He certainly wasn’t proud
He’d rather it roll back
To zero or maybe one or two
At the most. Only those few
First cuts who left their mark
Were still on his mind from
Time to time or all the time
Depending on how honest
He was on that particular day
He’s a suicide case
He feels sick to his stomach
Unsteady, faint, vertigo
He falls - falls - has fallen
He feels a hand at his neck
His chest tight like a rope
Was wrapped around it
Tied to a pick up truck
And drove forwards at full speed
Clutching him ever tighter
His breath sapped from his lungs
“I only want to be a better man
A better man than I am
To live and not to fear
To thrive on happiness
Not fall into the same old trap
Of mortal hungers”
These words loop in his head
Like a broken record
Light fades from his eyes
A ringing floods his ears
Like the dial-tone of an old phone
Left hanging on the cord
When a call is long over
The choice is his to try again
His alone
Either to live on
- or -
To die a lump on the stone cold floor
He starts to cry
He’s full of fear
- but -
No one’s half as anxious as the crowd
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
She takes you to the forest
Where you climb the swaying trees
She speaks to you as softly as
The gentle blowing breeze

She waits flustered by the ocean
You run hurried down to meet her
You try so hard to ask that question
You know you want to ask her

— The End —