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Vallery Dec 2023
i am not alone-
my demons and delusions
keep me company
Vallery Nov 2023
Lovers beating heart,
now together forever...
Let death do us part
Vallery Nov 2023
manic

the voices, in my head, they scream, and scream, and yell, and oh god, i cant drown them out, those voices, and the **** they tell me, like im some *******

maniac

the voices, ******* voices, all the voices shouting at me, the overlapping yelling, and screaming, and panic, and oh, god the voices, ****, they tell me to just ******* jump already, voices tell me im

manic

im manic, manic is me, im crazy as crazy can be, the voices remind me how delirious i must be, oh god the voices call me

manic

the voices are my

mania

i am the inner manic voice, i am the voices, oh god its me, its me, its me, im manic, the voices are me, and i cant drown them out, oh ****

manic

manic

the voices, i mean i tell me death is the cure, the antidote, the way out, but oh god, the voices remind me that im

manic

the voices, i cant make them stop, the voices yell, makes me spiral, spiral into oblivion, oblivion makes me, the voices make me

manic

manic

******* manic

******* manic

the mania that drives the voices

the voices that drive the mania

the voices that drive me to the end

the end of mania

the end of me
Vallery Oct 2023
Alone in the dark again,
With no one to take me to the end...
So now here I stay
to suffer alone,
Ill keep the demons at bay...
Alone in the dark,
Alone once again...
I'll take my life
to make it to my end
Vallery Oct 2023
i wish i could die,
and no, i promise i wont try...
at least not for now, not tonight...

but sometimes
i wish i could just die,
or fall asleep and never open my eyes...

buried in my head, deep in my minds eye
is the hope that barely keeps me alive...
but oh, how i still wish i could die...

just dont fret, no, please dont cry,
trust me when i say "i promise I won't die,"
i promise ill be fine, at least just for tonight...

but still, i wish that i could die,
but i promise i wont try
at least not now, at least not tonight...

at least tonight
I'll try to stay alive...
Vallery Oct 2023
Glittery sunlight seeps through the gaps in the leaves, shadows dance on the soft grass around me. I lie on the warm earth, breathing in the fresh air. I run my hands through the flowers sprouting besides me, noticing the pale yellow and pastel pink hues, the butterflies flittering among the flora. As i sit up i see that I'm in some sort of forest clearing, a small grassy area encased in a wall of thick trees...


"It's beautiful isn't it?" he said. Who he is, I haven't a clue...
I stand myself up and confusion washes over me. I don't see anyone else present, I'm alone, so where'd the voice come from?
"From me, I'm behind you."
I turn around to face the man with the disembodied voice, a strikingly handsome man dressed in a silk white button down shirt, shiny white dress pants, and white shoes. his features are utterly appealing and instantesouly comforting. Can he read my thoughts?
And with that he lets out a chuckle, "Yes, I can. Please, come with me"
I hesitate for a moment. I'm not sure I can entirely trust him yet but still I follow him anyways. We walk across the clearing, in to the wall of trees. A short distance through the forest brings us to a beautiful river with crystal clear water and lily pads floating about. "Have a seat dear," the Mystery Man said, his arms outstretched towrds a wooden bench shaded beneath some trees. As we sit he begins to speak.
"I know you're unsure of your new environment, but trust me when I say you're in good hands. My friends call me Luci, I sort of run this place,"
he gestures broadly at our surroundings.
"Now, you're here because you asked for help, is that correct?"
Suddenly all my memories come flooding back...
"I-Yes, thats-I asked for help," I stuttered.
Luci stares into the distance, possibly carefully searching for his next reply.
"Dani, I am willing to help you. Here, take this. I've made this just for you. A special concoction of joy, sobriety, peace, and release."
He hands me a small vial containing a clear liquid. I uncap it and a sweet floral aroma fills the air.
"All you have to do is drink it. You know, Death is a beautiful thing, most people are afraid or angry when Death comes around... You are different, Dani, because you welcome Death with open arms. You called my name and I delivered, you can trust me, you can always trust an angel, even the Angel of Death."
He grabs my arm and forces me to drink the liquid.
The sweet smelling potion leaves a horridly bitter taste behind, causing me to gag and retch.
Death sits quietly at my side, watching me fall to the ground and writhe in pain, all with an ugly grin on his face.
The pain is unbearable; I feel as though my skin has been covered in acid, my head feels like it may combust at any second...
Death begins to laugh.
Hes getting off on this, I know it. *******.
"Now, now, Dani, don't blame me. You're the one who wanted this, you're the one who tied the noose, not me. I saved you, now you owe me."
With those last words I give in, I had asked for this, I desperately wanted this, I needed this.
With the acceptance comes the release, the final breath, the final end.

I have been saved by an angel named Death.

Im finally free.
Vallery Oct 2023
it's not dark yet,
but the sun is slowly setting...
dipping below the trees...
and the moon is just barely peeking, awaiting for the chance to brighten up the night sky...
and the stars dance around, waiting to be seen...
I sit on the grass, feeling the warm summer breeze around me... I'm reminded of tomorrow's promise... the promise that the sun will rise once again and I no longer have to fear the impending darkness, or bear the cold and lonely nights for much longer... tonight, the darkness is only temporary, it's only minimal, and I'm strong enough to make it through the night, all because of the promise that the sun tells me.
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