I was struggling to curl into sleeps somber embrace, I couldn’t accept his warm and gentle touch. You had aided me in times of restlessness, whispering words that had me lulling into that blissful darkness. I’ve found myself yearning for it as days pass, as the connection between us goes silent yet again, so I’m awake pondering over the endless ideas of you and I, some evenings I’ll even try to whisper the same sweet nothings to myself to see if it’ll help, but it only get me thinking of you a little bit more. Some evenings I paint over the purple bags under my eyes, trying to pretend that everything is ok, but it fades away throughout the day, along with that tenuous hope. So I go on, unnoticed and exhausted.
You keep me up well through the break of dawn, just as the sun begins to peek over the horizon, I can’t help but feel my heart break get just a little bit worse with each sunrise.

“I’m not hungry, I’m not full. I’ve starved myself of you for so long, I dont want to even begin to imagine what you taste like.”

"Slam my head against the wall, pretend all you want.  My body protests your want. A pounding headache filled with no’s and stops’s.
My love has evaporated and I wish with all of my heart that it would fill the void between us, but when I lay next to you, all I feel is emptiness."

what does it feel like to be held
not by another body
not by a set of limbs, a chest, a chin
but
by another soul

what does it feel like
to see truth in another pair of eyes
instead of hidden intentions
instead of absence

what does it feel like
to hear a familiar heartbeat
resounding next to your own
reaching through skin
through bone
two rhythms
indistinguishable

what does it feel like
to write poems about
a love that exists

"Tailgate gazing, feet hanging.
One glance and you’ve got my heartbeat hammering.
I’ve been hungover on the thought of you.
Dazed, and missing you.
I’m being consumed."

”Infinite galaxies come running down my tear stained cheek.
I’m swept away in this pain.
Cherished memories washed away, always down the drain.
I envy the days where I felt so endless, even when I ached.”

“Remember our cigarettes & the oil rigs. City lights, and drunken nights.
Remember the scabbed lips and 1:00am road trips. Races and white long sleeves.  Christmas Eve burn outs, empty parking lot makouts. Piggy back rides, and best friends forever. Remember the kissing and love making. Shirtless & in love, punches in the face, followed with forgiveness. Unfairness and regret. How I see you and seem not to forget.“