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 Sep 15 CB
 Sep 15 CB
we sat next to one another, neither saying a word.
i could feel your good, the blitheness of your heart,
the slight ache in your soul that begged to be heard.
i listened to a thousand sighs before you said a word,
we held each others gaze before we dared to touch hands.
and just like that we were giving, giving, giving.

i told you about my mother and her love,
how she sat me down to tell me she couldn’t see me anymore.
i told you about my father and how his love was late,
how he closed every door an ordinary l father would open.
i told you that you were the only love i saw in colors.
and as we spoke, i was giving, giving, giving.

you told me that you were ashamed of your loneliness,
how the ache in your gut came and went depending on the weather.
you told me about your family and how everyone dies,
and how the two subjects shouldn’t be said together, but usually were.
you told me i talked about death nonchalantly and sometimes you understood,
and as i listened, i knew you were giving, giving, giving.

we spoke softly of the past and eagerly of the future.
during those times i began to appreciate what was being said around me.
and i think thats how i knew i was in love with you forever,
because we didn’t need to kiss or to touch or to hold.
all we ever needed was someone to listen to our babble.
and we never did stop giving, giving, giving.
 Sep 12 CB
Frank Ruland
They called her Sunshine
but she never liked the name
Never was a silver lining,
only forecasts of more the same

They'd tell her it was a nice day
just because the sun was out
But behind the shadows that it cast
was a sea of misery and doubt

They'd tell her to go outside--
there's a rainbow overhead
But she was brokenhearted
colorblind, & trapped inside her head

Their name for her was Sunshine,
though it felt like anything but
They would call, she would look
and all she could say was, "What?"
 Jun 17 CB
I'm rain
but not the kind of rain
people drink coffee and stare at
from studio apartment windows
and under pretty white gazebos ,

I'm rain
but not the kind of rain
that falls soft at first,
and then harder,
and then soft again,

I'm rain
but not the kind of rain
that smells sweet
and makes flowers grow
in the spring time,

I'm rain
but not the kind of rain
that collects in pretty puddles
in the pavement
so that toddlers in rubber boots
can jump in and splash
their parents,

I'm rain
but not the kind of rain
that lulls crying teenagers
to sleep in their warm beds
or makes lovers miss one an other,

I'm rain
but not the kind of rain
people watch and listen to
with gentle acceptance,

I'm the kind of rain
that falls fast and hard,

the kind of rain that is cold
and hurts sun burnt shoulders
when it hits them,

the kind of rain that washes
pretty chalk paintings off of
drive ways in suburbs
without a second thought,

the kind of rain that
seeps through ceiling tiles
turning cozy little homes into
chaotic whirlwinds of
anxiety and destruction,

the kind of rain that
makes your joints ache
and your eyes red,

the kind of rain that
gets the kids out of the pool
and sprinting inside,
cold, wet, and uncomfortable,

the kind of rain that
washes leafs into
your gutters,

you curse it all week long,

the kind of rain that
only wanted to touch the earth,

to feel some semblance of warmth,

but the kind of rain that
doesn't know how to
leave the thunder at home,

the kind of rain who
breaks the things
it loves,
no matter how
hard it tries to be
 May 6 CB
Verdant Quo
like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.
 May 6 CB
we lie awake for the same reasons we fall asleep,
the haunting feeling of the past,
the unsureness of the future,
the unchangeableness of the present,
our eyes remain open and it reminds us of our past mistakes,
the ones we want to change but never will,
it reminds us of what used to be so easy;
living freely.
 Apr 24 CB
 Apr 24 CB
Life is hard
Life is painful
You go to bed hungry
You go to bed in tears

People stab you in the back
People lie
You use people
You get used by people

But the sun shines
The rain fall
You smiled at me
My heart is full

Life is not always that bad.
 Apr 21 CB
 Apr 21 CB
I elbowed the universe
when I saw it flirting
with you as if I wasn’t
also capable of
sunrises and waterfalls.
These shifting continents
tried to pull you away
so with these hands of purpose
I began shifting the stars
to draft love letters
left above for all to see that
I can outworld this earth,
our sun and
the relentless seas
all asking to touch your skin
just as much as
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