I still remember you
I lost you because non-commitment was all I could give.
Now I wake with my sheets soaked with the residue from my nightmares, suffocating me.

I long for those days when the sun was setting and hand in hand we'd sit, in silence.
You'd pull me closer to share your excitement with me; grab a fist full of my hair to allow you to enter into matrimony with my lips.

I long to have your presence next to me; to see the rise and fall of your chest reminding me that that is where my home is.
To have you wake me in the morning with your arms protectively caressing  me, rhythmically and suggestively moving along my body...
To have you send shivers down my spine with your hot breath as I feel you smile into my neck

I remember your lips became the metaphor for our young hasty affair:
your lips often grazing every crevice on my body, arousing feelings in me I never thought existed and exciting this dormant precious place between my thighs.

My thighs, which are now the empty hallways you used to roam with so much passion and ferocity used to release waterfalls that cascaded down in a pleasurable release,
long for one more body trembling exhilarating encounter.

But most of all I long to be loved again.

the darkness doesn't shine within you.

impossible.
it smothers.

sometimes so delicate and lightly with skilled seduction
it conditions you for its welcome

sometimes forceful and passionately dark,
like the night and fears wrapped into one cloak
it forces you homelike into the darkness
where the peace is only a temporary ruse
manipulation to ready you
for your deathly dangle
again and again.


sometimes it appears helpless
and calls you in with longing and pain-filled eyes.
it prays upon your light
and draws it out of you good-naturedly
and makes you feel needed,
promising to love the light...

but oh, the smothering
is the most cunning of all these things,

learning to breathe with light is not an easy thing,
you must learn wise and sacrifice for together these are
powerful things.

what glitters is the cold
what shines is the soul
what covers is the darkness
what opens is the light

anyone clothed in darkness
is only one thought away from light
and that is that they must deny the power of the dark
as it is no match for the holy light.

a soul is not permitted to stay too long in one or the other,
that's why the sun and the moon were made

and each disappear behind a shroud, here and there
to make you understand how it is
that love and hate go around,
for one must contrast the other
each as capable but none is sustainable.


so thus measure your darkness
with the balance of light
and enjoy the strength
you gain in the fight

may you endeavour in the end
to not let the other win
then may your soul take flight,
a higher journey is always a touch away
ever just in sight.

"Run!" -heavy breathing-
You cannot trust them
Please.. Don't wait for me
Go..
If you have faith in me, don't ever look back.
Promise me.. "
His voice was trembling
I know you want me to come back
Take me into your bleeding arms
How can I forsake you?
If this means my death, so be it
Your beautiful eyes, I need a sight of 'em
.. And so, I did turn around to run into his arms
-silence-
-collapsing onto the ground-
No.. NO!
I was bathing in his sacred blood
Moaning and screaming till it thundered
The silence was deafening
My slaughtered heart stared at the corpse
of the man that I saw God in
My tortured heart stared at the corpse
No..*

Woke up, gasped, started to cry out
You rushed into my room to wash away all my doubt
I wiped my tears and hugged you tight
.. this, yet one more proof of how lucky I am to give and get love
from people
Including you, or without.