heaps of jewels reach the sky,
gold dripping from scars
and silver stuck to teeth.
Stars in galaxy scorn over them as they laugh.
I plead in silence.
In dead silence.
In a world of described darkness and i see them brunch.
Munch.
They munch on all edibles.
Edibles i've heard.
One by one everyone disappeared.
i know the reason and the truth
but could not speak up and shoot.
I knew about them.
I know about them.

out of all the people who have seen me,
why did he made me feel seen?
He saw me as a evergreen paradise, always beaming up to dream.
He stared at me,
prolonged,
as i'm the ruthless star crashing through the galaxy.
A thousand words of coursety,
letters of love.
A million actions of care,
a zillion praises to drown in but
why does his look of wonder fill up my anxious soul?
why had he become the Sol to my Soul?

so my parents blabbered about how the enormous love they shared resulted me to existence.
Their faces were covered with brilliant smiles and i saw love radiant in them.
Though i couldn't pinpoint their pastel lies made in paradise.
Those shades of blue hovered through the sky
and drops of hatred made me cry.
Its thunder made my ears bleed,
its lightning made my eyes sore.
I am no child of love.
I am the child of hatred my mother bore.

All this praise is a slow poison which cripples under my skin.
You can not see and can not feel
  but you will see its appeal.
It dazzles the one who lays its eyes upon and
glances surfaces by its arrival.
Oh and
oh and
oh and
oh how i grovel upon its arrival as it may gesture empathy but it is not.
i slowly decompose in its sedimentation.
It is a disguise.
A disguise.
One must not fall yet i fall.
I fall and fail.
Fall and fail.
Fall and fail.
Fall and fail.
How many times has it been?
Since i've felt this eradicating feeling from my core.
Has it been moments ?
Days? months?
years?
My whole existence?

how cruel of you to exhaust moments of delight into staying here
forever.
It can't.
Joy,
delight,
excitement,
laughs,
smiles,
sunshine,
happiness are all fleeting emotions. They come by as a swift of wind to kiss you so impressing that you may be tempted.
You may be tempted to make it last.
happiness is a part of nature that we solmely feel,
you cannot make it last.

there's literature hanging in the air right now but i have a stuffed nose and what more can this mouth engulf in a disgusting way.
I had dreams.
Merry should i say but they attach themselves to the literature right now because i have a stuffy nose and can't breathe.
All the passions,
pleasing,
socialization attaches themselves to the literature as it is in the air right now.
Do they all love literature just as much as me
or are they mocking me for the stuffy nose?
because i sure remember smells of those whose enticement ran through my veins and spilled from my finger tips.
They were enchanted by the world yet they all hang in the air now.
Dense air which slowly cripples my eye sight.
Have the air not known of situation i am poised in?
Why would it know?
Its air.
Air.
Air.
Air.
Its so unfair.
I believe the air must be the one who floated the literature up.
Or else why would it be hanging?
That dense air mocks me for having ocean tides on my body,
for the vast difference in our size,
for the way i move slow compared to it and now it holds my
every array of hope.
There's literature hanging in the air now,
Yet the air sickens me
so i think literature loathes to be with me.

I painted your greyest skies my warmest colours,
i planted flowers over your dead soil,
i sat in pit of misery as my experience shouldn't be bestowed upon you,
i pleaded as a solider to its king to stop the war,
to stop the war within you
and when the roles were reversed you left me out to stink in my agony, dreaded with misery
When questioned, you looked at me
It was the first i saw your soulless eyes,
and maybe i shouldn't had hesitated with your knife over my throat,
I should've melted over your knife and let blood drip your face,
If it drips would it be sinful? Or a scar?
maybe i should've let myself rot away as my soul would've been free,
if it weren't for me
would you have survived?
You, who held this misery once was too shaken to see if it weren't for me.
We are two worlds colliding and dying.