When someone dies,
Reality seems to slow to a halt.
Nothing makes any sense anymore,
And everything goes wrong.
They say there are five different stages,
Anger, denial, depression, bargaining, and acceptance.
Everyone feels it differently,
There’s not a special order to the pain.
Like a tidal wave,
It keeps knocking you down,
To the ground,
You fear you may drown,
And there’s no one around.
It never goes away,
Acceptance isn’t grief’s end,
Just a way,
To compartmentalize the pain,
Before it drowns you again.

If I could change the world,
It’d be different that’s for sure,
I won’t tell you what I’d change,
But a couple would be made.
You wouldn’t notice it right away,
Attention would have to be paid.

Would I be the hero?
From a certain point of view.
Would I be a villain?
Perhaps, anything could be true.
I tend to sympathize,
And empathize,
With ones whose chance,
At a good life,
Is taken away.

Would I be the savior?
Don’t give me all the credit.
Would I be the enemy?
Certainly, to some.
Sometimes it’s hard to walk the middle line,
Not knowing if you’re wrong or right.
People try to say it’s just black and white,
But the truth is,
It’s more nuanced,
And scuffed,
With consequences,
So sometimes it’s better just to walk the middle line.
Occasionally, you have to stand and fight.

The hill I will die on,
Is that violence is a double-edged sword.
Does it solve anything,
Or does it only make things worse?
I can see it either way.
So much petty fighting,
All for nothing,
Worth attacking,
Or defending,
Filled with lying,
And deceiving.
So if I could change the world,
This would be something I would change.

Is it just me,
Or does it seem,
That compassion,
Is few and far between?
Decency,
A relic of the past,
Replaced with,
Tribal attacks,
On appearance,
Personality,
Demeanour,
And morality.
Such a waste of time…
Why can’t we just accept,
That everyone is different,
Instead of constantly,
Judging?
Would it be so hard,
To stop arguing,
And fix problems,
Instead of causing more?
If I could change the world…

With all the people in the world,
I see no excuse,
Why so many people feel alone,
It’s absurd!
Whether out of fear,
Or a laugh of faith in oneself,
So many people,
Experience loneliness,
Potential relationships laid to waste.
As with most things,
More nuanced than it seems,
But sometimes I can’t help but wonder,
Could things be better?

And I know,
Things are the way they are for a reason,
But my beating heart,
Wishes for things to be different.
However, with little say,
Besides on the page,
All these thoughts,
Snuffed out and remain,
Out of the light of day…

If I could change the world,
Changes would be made,
Perhaps you’d notice,
Or you’d think they’re still the same.
I can imagine a world,
Free from pain and strife.
But I know,
Without hardship, there’s no growth,
The dark days magnify the light,
Without consequence, for decisions,
Things would break.
Sometimes the hardest thing to cope with,
Is the world’s imperfections,
But in the same vein,
Is the fact,
The world is what you make.
So perhaps what needs to be changed,
Is the view we place,
On our lives,
And our strifes,
And maybe then…

We could change the world…

People are the strangest things
This world has ever seen.
Complicated to a fault,
More than any other living being.
Think of relationships,
The way people act towards each other,
Whether platonic or romantic,
Still so complicated.

I often wonder,
What makes a friend?
So I’ve compiled a list of attributes,
I’d consider favorable.
In an attempt,
To answer this question.

A friend should be someone who cares for you,
Someone who is mutually interested in you,
Who you are, and what you do,
And long to see you grow.
A friend should understand you,
And not judge, but be compassionate.
Is that too much to ask?
A friend should love you unconditionally,
Not necessarily romantically,
For just being you.

A friend shouldn’t make you feel ignored,
Alone, or insignificant.
Friendships shouldn’t tear at the slightest push of buttons,
Of events that occurred,
Years and years ago.
Friends shouldn’t say crude things that they know aren’t true,
To demean, or hurt,
The ones they’re supposed to care about.
A friend shouldn’t use or abuse,
Physically or emotionally,
That’s for enemies.

I watch people socialize,
Mainly the ones who are considered “popular” in my eyes.
I wonder,
What do they have that I’m missing?
I see them laugh, and smile with their friends,
And wonder,
Do they care about me like this?
Is there something wrong with me?
Did I do something wrong?
How did things change so quickly?
Was it something I didn’t see?

Watching the ship burn to the waters.
The captain doesn't run away.
The ones that made me laugh,
The ones I missed over summer vacation.
Did they ever think of me?
The ones I never fitted in with,
Things never clicked.
I always felt awkward and out of place.
Am I just overthinking?
Did all this time mean anything at all?
Was it a waste,
Was it a loss?
Did we ever form a connection,
Or was it just superstition?

My mother told me that throughout high school,
She didn’t really have any friends at all.
I don’t know how she made it,
If it was me,
I know I wouldn’t.
I would feel too alone.
Though looking at it,
Perhaps I’m in the same boat.

I remember a friend I had back in first grade.
The thing that makes him so memorable to me,
Is the fact that he would lie to my face,
So effortlessly,
And I partly believed,
Thank goodness he left by second grade.

If you’ve read “My Former Friend,”
You know about a relationship,
I relished when it ended.
It wasn’t a friendship,
But a parasitic relationship.
So much discontentment,
So much resentment.
The past is the past so it’s time to move past.
If there’s anything I learned of value,
Is that some people abuse for their own benefit,
A lesson I’d have to learn at some point.

I sense a sense of strain amongst my friends.
Things feel more awkward than they ever have before.
Two and a half more years to go.
Would I change some things, if I could do it all again?
Yes.
Could things be worse than what I’m currently experiencing?
Yes.
Does that make it any easier?
No.

It’s hard watching a good thing come to an end,
Especially when it was a large fraction of your childhood.
But naivete is gone,
I’ll see it like it is,
Whether I like it or not,
It’s a sinking ship.
I’ll enjoy what time I have left,
And ride it out till the end.

A friend shouldn’t run away,
And leave you behind,
Without a warning,
Or something to clear your mind.
Just tell me that we’re done,
That you’ve moved on,
So I can move on.

Here we are,
2025.
Feels weird to say,
But it’s here to stay.
Looking at the bigger picture,
I see,
That I don’t think a single person gets me.
Perhaps, I set my expectations too high,
Perhaps frivolous tomfoolery is the norm.
I’m more of the “get things done” kind of guy.
Perhaps, I’m too hard to get to know,
Perhaps, the journey’s not worth the reward.
All people see is a character that’s mundane,
Yet hidden in the pages,
Is a creative brain,
That, to most people,
Won’t see the light of day.
I think there’s one,
Maybe two,
That’s it.
The rest I’m not sure about,
They have their friends, who occupy their time.
Yet, it’s not that I don’t want to know them,
It’s that I’m scared,
To be rejected,
In the gutter.
So, like my mother did,
All those years ago,
I’ll sit back,
And watch the world turn,
On my own.
And wonder,
If out there,
Somewhere,
There’s people who’ll care for me,
The way I wish they would.
According to probability,
It’s nearly a statistical certainty.

A friend should make you feel heard,
And loved.
So that you don’t have to write a long poem,
About what you long for.

Reece means enthusiasm,
Enthusiasm I rarely feel.
When it comes to most things,
The emotion is fear.
I wonder if it is a coincidence,
Why, I am named this name.
Or if there’s a reason,
Why, I think this way.
For something to entice me,
It better be something really good.
Most things that look like
Fun I don’t like to do
And I get misunderstood.
Sports sounds just awful,
Something I wouldn’t enjoy
I’m not much of a competitor,
They are just a lot of noise.
I don’t say what’s on my mind,
As often as I should, for
Fear of being misunderstood.
But writing, oh writing,
It’s easier to put down
What I think, Me,
Reece Ellison, the anxious
Boy with a world inside his head.
Huh, I guess there is some
Enthusiasm hidden deep down
After all…

The saddest part to me,
Is that I never truly understood,
Why you did the things that you did,
And the choices that you made.

Even after all this time,
It’s been about two years or maybe three.
Things still seem so surreal,
I don't think things will ever truly go back to the way they used to be.

You were seized by a monster,
A monster that never let you escape,
That monster we call addiction,
It comes in many different forms.
Whether smoking, or drinking, or abusing, or lying,
It can be anywhere at any time.

We all knew you had a problem,
It wasn’t a secret kept hidden from view,
You were smoking and drinking and losing yourself,
And there was nothing I could do.
I learned quickly to avoid addictions,
And my teacher was you.

I don’t quite know how long you had done this,
All I know is that I saw a lot,
I wished and I hope that you would change,
That maybe one day you would stop.

I know that you tried,
You were in a fight that was near-impossible to win.
Deep down you were fighting your hardest,
At least that’s what I hope you did.

Sometimes I would ask you why,
Why you never just quit,
As if I thought it was easy,
Now I know that you dug yourself a pit,
A deep pit.

God has given me a blessing,
I can’t stand cigarette smoke at all,
If I inhale just a little,
It gives me a headache and makes me feel like I’ll fall.

Christmases came and gone,
We’d have fun but then you would cough,
And cough, and cough some more.
Another harsh reminder,
Of what was in store.

You never looked well.
You always looked sick in the face.
You would ***** and some days never get to eat.
You would even sometimes struggle to catch your breath.

Sometimes you would try to talk to me,
And I could tell that you were drunk,
I would just ignore you,
Probably wasn’t the best thing to do.

You used to say funny things,
As funny as they were stupid,
You could always put a smile on my face,
Sometimes I miss those things you used to say.

Sometimes I would look at you,
And I wouldn’t see the uncle that I knew,
It was some dark facade you had made up,
From your pain, the alcohol and the cigarettes too.
I wanted nothing to do with you,
I felt betrayed and angry,
How dare you throw your life away,
You have a mother, a sister, a brother that love you,
Not to mention your nephews and nieces.
I thought that you were selfish,
That you didn’t care enough to change,
Sometimes I hated and resented you,
But now that’s no longer the case.

You were gone,
In the hospital,
Your body had had enough.
Mommom was at the house alone,
Things never felt the same.

No more witty sayings,
No more funny lines,
No more playing games,
No more fun times,
All of it shadowed by a thick coat of gray,
And now it was far too late.

I remember there was a time when you came back,
Thought maybe now you would finally change,
You had seen death’s door,
I hoped you wouldn’t stay the same.

I think you got a bit better,
I thought you had learned your lesson,
Guess I was wrong.

One day they found you,
Lying over your bed,
Head bowed, hands and fingers joined like you were praying,
You were dead.

Mom and Mommom were crying,
I didn’t believe it at first.
How could you be gone?
My brother was crushed.
Dad came to take us away,
As the police came inside the home,
A tragedy that hurt us all,
But the worst thing was,
I thought it was coming all along.

Christmas came around,
No funny lines or remarks to be made.
I think that’s when it hit me the hardest,
That and the fact that the house was so quiet,
It was like a nightmare you could not wake from.
This wasn’t a fallacy it was reality,
And I wasn’t in control.

So many questions went through my mind.
Why didn’t you just quit?
Why did you leave us behind?
The biggest one that stood out like a sore thumb,
Why didn’t you even try?

Your funeral came around,
Another body lowered into the ground.
There was plenty of sorrow to be found,
And from your room, not a sound.

When summer came the removal began,
First was all of the comics and other books.
Then was your furniture and bed.
The rest of the stained carpet was removed.
It looked like a completely different room.
A new carpet was put in the place of the old one.
The walls got a fresh coat of paint.
Your room became a secondary room for fabric aplenty,
For all of the sewing projects Mommom would make.

When the room was clear,
Before all the fabric moved inside,
Sometimes I would go into the room,
And just stand.
I’d think of what it used to be,
The place where you formerly resided.
I’d think of what could have been,
Sometimes that’s all someone can do.
But this is the way it went,
The way that the story ended.

You were only human,
And you made a dumb mistake,
And you became addicted,
And you couldn’t get away.
I know that you tried.
As hard as you could,
I just wish you were still here,
And you did what you should.

I think you could have changed,
If only you had a bit more time
However, was the one thing,
That we didn’t have.
That’s the hardest thing to cope with.

I know that life will be hard,
And I know that it won’t always be easy,
But I know that there are better ways to cope,
Then tearing your life apart.

I know that you tried your hardest,
And I wish that you tried a bit harder,
And I hope that one day,
I’ll talk to you again,
The man freed from his burdens.

And if not…
I hope that you know,
Someway, somehow you know,
That your nephew loves you more…
Than he ever got to show,
And you ever got to know.

I’ve got a few more things to say,
More thoughts have fluttered into my brain,
And even if it may be slightly trite,
I’m going to give you another piece of my mind.

How I adore the sound of rain.
Pitter-patter,
On my window at night.
However, when the rain gets on me,
I become the Wicked Witch of The West,
And start to melt.
The rain relaxes me,
Puts my ever-sprinting mind at ease.
Snuggled underneath the covers,
In my comfy bed,
Shows that even on the stormy nights,
There’s something to be thankful for.

My music taste has evolved,
As most everything else has,
I guess it was inevitable,
To broaden my horizons.
I was raised on Reba,
My mother made sure of that.
I’ll give credit where it’s due,
She’s a stunning singer,
And her songs touch the heart,
But I’ve found another,
Who, for me,
Fans the same spark.
His name is Alec Benjamin,
I’ve quoted his song in a poem once before,
Rarely can you find a musician,
Where every song you adore.
I haven’t heard every piece of art he’s created,
But from what I’ve heard,
They’re very relatable, meaningful songs,
Which are filled with impactful words.
He’s an amazing lyricist,
Who, to my knowledge, writes all his own songs,
Here’s a sample,
From a track titled “Hipocrite,”
Yes, titled just like that.

“It's hip to be a hipocrite, well, that's how it goes
Saying and portraying things, but only for show
They talk, throw rocks
Living in a mansion that they made out of glass
Always throwing tantrums, always getting a pass
All talk, they don't stop.”
And here’s the chorus:
“All these pompous fools,
With their broken rules,
And their noses in the air,
Keep pretending that they care.
All these stubborn mules,
Went to fancy schools,
But the only thing they learned to do is talk.”

Some of the music I like,
Doesn’t even have any lyrics at all.
Just a light somber melody,
To take me to serenity.
It’s in those moments,
Where my mind is clear,
That I treasure,
All I hold dear.

As much as I fear the future,
And which direction, of the countless, it could go.
I’d be lying if I said,
I wasn’t curious to see where it goes.
Where I’ll be,
Ten,
Twenty,
Thirty years from now,
Nobody knows.
On the bucket list,
Is to be invited onto a talk show.
Fate is uncertain,
That’s precisely why I fear it,
Yet, there’s a beauty to the undetermined.
Funny how that is.

I’m very impatient,
That’s a negative trait I’ll admit,
However, I understand,
That patience has its benefits.
Impulsivity leads to mistakes,
While patience leads to mastery.
Patience leads to understanding,
While impetuousness leads to travesty.
Waiting makes me feel,
That fleeting time is wasting,
We don’t have forever,
And our presence is always fading.
Yet, breathing in and out,
And taking a moment to rest,
Reconfigure, reassess,
Is the best form of reconciliation,
The body can get.

Another poem written,
A set of words said.
Another view of the world,
Hidden in my head.
Another random word,
To help me rhyme.
Another,
Piece of my mind.

Sometimes,
I don’t feel anything,
Not something bad,
Just nothing at all.
Head feels clouded with fog,
The contagious, corruptive smog.
Slowly,
Killing,
Me,
From the inside out,
One day,
I’ll be free,
From this apathy.
I’ll learn to care again,
I’ll find myself again,
I will…

The soldier and the poet,
Didn’t know it,
But their fates were intertwined.
Since they were younger,
Filled with vigor,
They attracted each other’s eyes.
It didn’t take long,
Till they were husband and wife,
Together, forever,
For life.

Then the bombs fell,
And the war began,
And the husband,
Had to go away.
He promised his country his life.
Though the poet pled,
It didn’t make,
A difference,
And he went either way.

The poet grabbed her pen,
As her husband trained for war,
She perfected her craft,
As her husband broke his back,
Figuratively,
With all of the attacks,
He was a part of.

She sold her poems,
Of her pain and loss,
And how she saw the world around her.
Her discontentment,
Her resentments,
And the thoughts that flew in her head.
She made a pretty penny,
But it didn’t fix the problem,
Her lover was across the sea.
But she prepared her poems,
To sing to her husband,
To ease his pained mind.

He was deployed to a war-torn city,
Paratrooper,
With parachutes,
Praying not to be shot before you hit the ground.
They had the advantage,
But the forces were stronger than they thought,
And they had heavy losses.
He lost his whole battalion.

Later he came back,
Into her loving arms,
But he wasn’t the same,
At all.
He was more quiet,
Less excited,
As he processed his pain.
He cried,
And she held him tight,
And every night,
She sang to him, lit by the moonlight.
Her favorite was one called,
“My Hero”

“Fighting amidst chaos,
Takes strength beyond belief,
And requires,
Some sacred reprieve.
I’ll hold you close,
Tell you everything’s alright,
I may not be able to change the past,
But that’s fine.
Let the memories fade away,
Don’t forget them,
But don’t let them take control of your brain.
My hero,
My lover,
My husband,
My all in all,
My everything,
My comforter.
Don’t push me away.
On your worst days,
I’ll be your hero,
Like you are mine…”

The soldier fell to tears,
Overcome by grief,
Heart filled with fears,
Wishing for reprieve.
His lover held him close,
He cried into her sleeve,
She asked him, softly,
“Won’t you tell me?”
“It’ll hurt you!” He said.
“I’ve been waiting!”
He cleared his throat,
Lifted his head,
Dried his eyes,
And mourned the dead,
He told her what,
Was in his head.
His choices filled,
With love instead,
Of pain.

She held his face,
And kissed his cheek,
And took her pen,
And wrote down,
All that he said,
Every word,
The saddest tale,
She ever heard.

But he knew,
He was safe,
In her arms,
Far away,
From bombs, and the shots,
And the blood, and the guns.
None of that,
Was here with him,
Just his wife,
His closest friend.

The soldier and the poet,
Didn’t know it,
But their fates were intertwined…

A Poem By: Reece Ellison

Demons,
Everyone has them, hidden just behind their eyes,
And if you squint, you’ll find what they try to hide.
As the tears flow,
And their heart begins to open,
You’ll realize.
That part of being human,
Is suffering behind a smile.

Your head can tell you many things,
Not all of it is true,
But you’ll convince yourself,
That there’s nothing you can do.
Your mind can be your greatest friend,
Or your greatest foe,
A pain people can try to relate to,
But it’s one only you’ll truly know.

Pain,
Everybody has it, hidden just behind their eyes,
And if you squint, you’ll find what they try to hide.
As the tears start to flow,
And their heart begins to open,
You’ll realize,
That part of being human,
Is crying yourself to sleep at night.

Sometimes when you open up,
And you try to explain the abstraction of your pain,
People tend to take it,
Laugh at it,
Break it into pieces,
And wonder why you’re hurt.
People can be cruel,
They leech off of each other all the time,
Harm someone for the benefit of themselves,
Never understanding the other side of their actions.

Scars,
Everybody has them, hidden just behind their eyes,
And if you squint, you’ll find what they try to hide.
As the tears start flowing,
And their heart starts opening,
You’ll realize,
That part of being human,
Is masking anguish inside.

I think I have a wound deep down,
I don’t know where it is,
But I know it hurts.
I see things more pessimistically than I did a few years before.
Maybe that’s just cause I’m changing,
If so I wish it would’ve stayed the way it was before.
Sometimes I wonder if my presence changes a thing.
If I were gone, would it matter at all?
For a day, or a week, or a month, does it make a difference at all?
Perhaps that’s a stupid thought to wonder.
I’m no longer fooled when people try to act nice.
I see them for what they are,
A wolf in sheep’s clothing,
Trying to hurt an aching soul to save their own.

Fears,
Everybody has one, hidden just behind their eyes,
And if you squint, you’ll find what they try to hide.
As the tears pool dripping,
And their heart starts breaking,
You’ll realize,
That being human,
Is being afraid of what tomorrow will bring.

This may sound foolish,
And I know it is,
But I’m afraid of change,
Chronically afraid.
May be why I’m so anxious,
Watching things speed by so quick,
Whilst I’m left wondering:
Where did it all go?
I think I’m rather boring,
And nobody knows me better than me.
Introducing the fear of being alone,
Praying it doesn’t end up becoming real.

Demons,
Everyone has them, hidden just behind their eyes,
And if you squint, you’ll find what they try to hide.
And as my tears start flowing,
And my heart begins to open,
I hope you’ll realize,
That part of being human,
Is filled with pain and strife,
And sometimes,
Feels harder than it’s worth.

Four distinct seasons,
Each with their own beauty,
Ambiance, weather, and color,
All for us to enjoy.

I must admit,
Winter’s my favorite.
I like feeling cold,
Not freezing cold,
But cold enough so that when you encompass yourself with blankets,
You feel the comforting warmth of home.
I love the look of the planet,
Underneath a blanket of snow,
The smoothness of the white,
Prettier at night.
The snow as it falls,
Gorgeous as well,
Everywhere you look,
A painting could be painted,
And the beauty would be upheld.
Snowmen on the lawns,
The festive season,
What’s not to love?
Hot chocolate by a fire,
Tales of reindeer flying high in the sky,
All these reasons are why,
Winter’s my favorite.

Followed close behind in both timing and rank,
Springtime.
The weather looks nicer,
The flowers bloom once more,
The rain may seem inconvenient,
But it’s something to be thankful for.
The pitter-patter on my window at night,
Makes me feel,
For a moment,
That everything’s alright.
Don’t forget the flowers,
Of many shades of colors,
How I look forward,
To when the Indian Paintbrushes grow.
Sunflowers,
Irises,
Roses,
Daisies,
And all the others,
Makes the season more special,
Nature’s a wondrous thing.

Now comes the one I least adore,
But still, I know,
It has its strengths.
Summertime,
Is my least favorite.
I’ve never liked the heat,
Especially when it exceeds a hundred degrees,
That’s a bit excessive to me.
It’s the time,
To hit the beach,
To be at peace,
I can practically hear the waves.
Vacations typically wait till this time of year.
Fireworks,
In America,
The booms,
Something to behold.
The weather,
While not ideal for me,
Is still wondrous to see.
Maybe in my later years,
I’ll appreciate the beauty of summer.

Last but not least,
Fall or autumn is third on the list.
Things cool down,
Leaves fall down,
From their trees.
Reds,
Oranges,
Yellows,
And browns,
Litter the grown,
Entrancing the eyes.
They’re something to see,
But not worth to speed.
The crunch beneath your feet,
The air blows deep through the trees.
Halloween,
And the Thanksgiving feast.
Bliss at the finest degree.



The Earth isn’t the only thing,
That goes through seasons,
Life does the same.
Some seasons are dark,
Without a light in sight,
But it’s there,
It’s always there.
Other seasons a filled with joy,
Take those in,
Enjoy the moment,
Because for better or worse,
Like the seasons of the Earth,
It always comes to pass.