Mofogofunoluwa

Apr 2020

Jiya

i want to tell you.
i really do.
i'd love to spill my secrets, my issues to you.
yet i can't comprehend it.
i can't communicate it to you.
and the fact you could leave me.
it makes my heart a tearful blue.
you already look at me as if i'm broken.
what do i have to lose?
i want to tell you.
i really do.
yet i can't cope with the fact.
the fact your presence may fade.
vanish without a trace.
except you'd still have that key.
the key that can unlock the darkness in my brain.

this poem is in honour of my teacher who wants me to know that i can talk to him. but it's nearing the end of the year and he may not be my teacher next year. i fear that if i tell him too much i won't be able to cope that next year he might be wandering around with the burden of my thoughts i selfishly put on him without being able to do much to help me. and that i won't be able to connect with another teacher like i have with him. so, in general, this poem isn't really about telling him about my issues. it's about the fact that i might lose his presence in my life and that he's one of the last things that's keeping me sane. this poem is about loss. XD sorry for the mini rant i just needed to get this out there y'know.

#loss #teacher #trust #scared #confession #issues #hopelessness #worry

Apr 2020

Penny Laine

Untitled

I let my trust run wild until it turned into paranoia
I let my paranoia go untouched until it turned into resentment
I let my resentment fester until it turned into depression
I let my depression grow until it became doubt
Now my doubt had turned into confirmation
It wasn’t a kiss or a word I was scared to know of
I was afraid while I strangling my tears so you couldn’t see them
You were building a dam to keep others away
I was afraid while I was trying to mend my heart with bullets
You were acting as a tailor for someone else's
I was afraid that you had become someone else's safe haven
While I was learning to be my own
But still I let my trust run wild

#love #deception #trust

Apr 2020

Penny Laine

Untitled

I invite my demons back into my bed,
I let them taunt and torture me
As I kiss their lips and feed them, love.
I beg for them to blacken my eyes ****** my wrist,
And fill the void that rests within my soul.
I’m addicted to the way the pain feels
And they're addicted to the ways my tears taste

#abuse #used #love

Mofogofunoluwa Apr 2020

WOGA.

I knew woga so well,
Even if she was dressed in rubies, I'd still notice her several miles away.
I have closed doors, shutters and curtains in hopes that she won't seep through the hidden crevices of my home.
I don't turn on the lights for fear of the monsters that hovers above me.
I fear the fingers that always finds its way down to my stomach to taunt, **** and poke my ulcer, I fear the known.
I fear the very thing that's in the air, in my sleep and in my head, the very thing that whispers uncertainties
Woga keeps growing her monstrous army day by day and that's what scares me the most
My darling Woga loves when I cry myself to sleep on her lap. She takes pleasure in her soaked skirt, she loves when I surrender.
Woga loves dragging my weary body across hills and valleys, until the earth becomes the color of the very thing coursing through my veins.
She's a lover that can never be satisfied.

Woga is Swahili for fear

#fear #ulcer #sadness #love

Mofogofunoluwa Apr 2020

Eternity

We spoke of an eternity together, just like Isis and Osiris. We prayed for an everlasting love.
We cried, we laughed, we kissed, and we spoke of our love.
Then boom!!! The madness
It started with the recurring late nights.
I thought the tale of the fisherman's wife was a myth, until I became one.
Now I'm on my porch, hoping you'd remember our love and come back.
- Adewale Mofogofunoluwa Eunice.

#love #greek #mythology #hope

Mofogofunoluwa Apr 2020

Salty Tic Tacs

I once had a conversation with the little girl with salty Tic Tacs streaming down her face, she said that it had been difficult keeping a tight grip on her sanity in a room filled with lunatics. She said that she was more of a recluse because the voices in her head had demanded to be listened to.
The voice tell her all sorts, funny how she referred to them as "people" when they were her own thoughts. She said they all wanted to be heard and obeyed and she had been drowning in sermons telling her how to live, how to be better and how to do better, now she's drowning in an ocean of critics, each word reminding her how she would never be perfect.

#sadness #loneliness #tears #drowning #voices #insanity

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