when you hugged me for the first time
i never wanted you to let go
i just wanted you to hold me
for the rest of time
unfortunately
that isn't possible
when you kissed me for the first time
i didn't want you to stop
i just wanted you to kiss me
for the rest of time
unfortunately
that isn't possible

I look at the moon and think of you.

Last night I smashed my phone

I don't know why I did it

And yet I hate myself for doing it

For the reason I did it

Because I know it was bad

My behaviour was unacceptable








Each time I see the smashed screen it makes me feel sick

Heaven rained on me,
I breathed in the petrichor,
Bathed in the downpour.

Remember we were gonna leave this city and make a life for ourselves. We were gonna dance and laugh and buy too many plants and listen to as much live music as possible and prove everyone wrong and kiss and hold hands and fall even more in love everyday. Remember when you promised that.

to my darling who feels she's not:
our separation is mere illusion.
truly, your pain strikes me as i write this;
your sensations of abandonment,
and the decisiveness they have caused,
bleed from my skin into the fibers of my clothes.
i am no longer clean.
i do not feel pure.

to my severed arm and shortened tendons:
destruction is merely another side of life.
out of disappearance comes all things-
without space, there would be nothing to contain us,
nothing to allow and enfold our beings' spirits,
and they would sputter and cease like my love's flame.
i am no longer yours.
i do not feel full.

to the farthest star that my eyes can see:
your light reaches me- i glimpse you!
in the perceived emptiness between us
there is no distance to be found;
around us exists the infinite potential for
further connection and deeper growth in closeness.
i am no longer alone.
i do not feel sorrow.

I don't want to go
to heaven.
I just want to see
the sunset
reflect in your eyes
one last time.