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 Nov 2018 Brianna Kinyon
Ash
I know how this goes
I've been here before
I still let you in
Knowing that you will push me over this cliff
Knowing that you won't be there to hold me at the end of this cliff
I hate this
I want to say I hate you
I don't though because I don't care enough about you
I'm just naive so naive
I keep letting you in
But you are no longer invited
I won't open this flood gates again
I'm shutting them go play with someone else
You aren't invited anymore.
As you can see,
I've never been a prodigy.
Always unimpressive, apparently.
Stressing is an everday thing.
But you wouldn't care,
You're just so unaware.
Depression has me ensnared,
But you couldn't handle my despair.
So keep your eyes closed.
And I'll do the same.
The things I think about are completely insane,
I wish the good times would never change.
But this isn't my dreamland.
It's a place where I don't want to stand.
Depression is the ocean,
Anxiety is the sand,
And I'm somewhere floating in between it all.
 Nov 2018 Brianna Kinyon
-
End Game
 Nov 2018 Brianna Kinyon
-
whatever we think we have
is destructive

they say opposites attract
but what they don't say is
damage seeks out damage

we both know this is temporary
we'll never gonna choose each other

we are asymptotes
staying close to each other;
would never gonna cross the line
or would we?

maybe we're perpendicular lines
we'd cross the line
once
but that's it
or is it?

maybe we're each other's point b
each other's end point
but i doubt that

I think I know what we are
We are black splats
or stains hiding
in each other's blind spots

we see each other
when we want to

hide each other
when we want to

and I am tired
of being your temporary cure
because healing you
is like alcohol
it kills me but gets me addicted
makes me miserable yet happy
healing you is like being offered
space cakes
no matter how hard i try
to convince everyone it's harmless, it destroys
it builds me up
then lets me down
makes me feel everything then nothing at all

i don't know how it happened
all of a sudden then all at once

we both know this won't last
please erase me
wash the stain
open both your eyes
let go

whatever we think we have
let it die

---

let This die
but dont forget

we'll stay close
enough to keep each other warm
but not too much to let each other burn
 Nov 2018 Brianna Kinyon
Abigail
I fooled myself
Thinking I could control my dreams
You are the essence of my daydreams
Just a tiny bit of your presence, makes me complete as a human
I don't think I could ever tell you
Maybe a small part of me wants you to notice it yourself
I guess that's what makes me the fool
That's why I'll keep daydreaming
Just for you're company


{ TO JULIEN}
 Nov 2018 Brianna Kinyon
w
9
 Nov 2018 Brianna Kinyon
w
9
It's kinda hard to accept
that I treated you as my only option,
but you on the other hand
treated me as one of your options
I am torn in two.
My head pulls one way
My heart pulls the other.

I am torn in two.
I am drawn by the future I should want
And enticed by the one I actually do.

I am torn in two.
My mind follows the plan of the man who loves me
My eyes follow the man who never will.

I am torn in two.
One half is content with the way things will be.
The other half yearns for the lives I will never live.
Your ability to cheer me up is impeccable.
What's more incredible is your beautiful smile.
How do you always grasp my attention so easily?
It's like your inside the air that I'm breathing.

I feel naive wondering if I even stand a chance?
Thinking about you sometimes puts me in a trance.
I can't help but point out that it's completely in vain,
Have you noticed this, or am I just going insane?

And I hope that you can forgive me for shutting you out.
I never really meant to, it was because of my doubts.
Doubts that you'd do that to me at some point I mean,
It's happened so many times that I've become apprehensive.

Afraid; anxious.
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