I feel like I am in a cycle of failure over and over again.  
I feel overwhelmed.
I am feeling a lot of feelings I do not like or understand.
It is hard work living.

My body somehow knows
The grief tomorrow holds.
I ache and throb
But I cannot sob;
The urge to cry
Stings my eyes.
My feet drag heavily
In the depths of this valley.
Every year without fail
I remind myself I am too frail.
"You're strong without the numbers,"
Yet I was too weak to pull you from your slumber.
Each March 22nd
Feels just like the 1st end,
When your heart stopped beating
And mine started bleeding.
I'd skip this whole day
But I'd miss the chance to say:
I miss you, lovely little hurricane.
It's all I can do to keep sane.
The smell of mint
Hurts just a hint.
The skinny jeans and hair bows
I could never disown.
I wear your effect  
On my forearm *****.
The pain of loss is akin
To etching you into my skin.
My hands shake with cold,
Though not as cold as a headstone.
Oh, how my body knows
The grief tomorrow holds.

I wish i came to your life later
So everything would've been greater
But this time i would've hugged you tighter
Would've made sure if you're alright
I would've never let you go
Like i did before, you know...

'Cause it's getting hard to sleep lately
The pain is achieving its goal greatly

I never knew it will hurt like this
When our past is all that i miss

The ache in my heart doesn't seem to stop
When i remember you, many tears will drop

Will that waiting ever end?
Is it possible to see you again?

Even if the answer is no
I'll be waiting, there is nowhere to go!

My dark room will be my friend
Till i see something that you'll send

I'll wake up with the same excitement
To see if u called,
telling me 'bout the life you spent

I will sleep with the memories of you
And the night sky will be my view
Till i see you
Then my life will renew

But please be quick
Before that makes me sick
Cause i'm so done, with looking at anyone
And remembering about our fun, being gone..