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I prefer the gray.
I don’t want to choose between dark and light.
I like it that way.
No one can tell me if I feel alright.

I prefer the gray.
It can be whatever I want it to.
I like it that way.
Why pick joy or pain when both can be true?

I prefer the gray.
An aching heart can have a smiling face.
I like it that way.
Why must my emotions have their own place?

I prefer the gray.
What you think I mean is for me to know.
I like it that way.
When the words confound you just let them go.
Blogging at www.insightshurt.com
Buy “Insights Hurt: Bringing Healing Thoughts To Life” at store.bookbaby.com/book/insights-hurt
The lovely trees of autumn shine,
in fields of majestic glory;
It's heaven's way to give the world,
a pure and glowing story.

While whistling winds intrude upon,
the corners of our minds;
And the gentle breezes blow afar,
each colored leaf aligns.

As the trembling branches of the trees,
shed all their crinkled leaves;
The bounty of a sacred world,
brings nature to its knees.

The northern winds blow heavily,
with frost and chilly air;
And soon the days of winter rise,
as snowflakes dance in pairs.

Remember how the whistles sing,
a tune of changing seasons;
From God above Who tells the tale,
with faith, and hope and reason.
I see you and your desire for belonging
The failed attempts to fit in to ease the longing
Draining your energy in tribe after superficial tribe
knowing the beating of your heart has no rhythm with their vibe

Expressing your sorrow through written words
Never quite easing your pain, to think so was absurd
Crying into your pillow until the wee hours of the morn
Wondering to God why the hell you were born!

Need for acceptance the pain of rejection consuming your days
Lowering your standards in so many ways
Reaching outward in desperation to feed your soul
Blind to the notion of what it means to be whole

You were raised with the needs of others first
Not knowing the impact to you would be the worst
You have a voice and tremendous wisdom within
Because you were oppressed, to speak is a sin

The internal struggle to belong is real
Believe me, I know exactly how you feel
Don’t ever give up or let your dreams shatter
Please know from my heart, I see you, you matter
10/22/18.
 Oct 2018 Jesse stillwater
julie
trees are changing their robes;
on misty mornings
I am sitting on my porch.
a book  
I've found in a vintage bookstore
at the corner of my street
is lying in my lap

drinking a tea
wrapped into my favorite blanket
and watching my neighbors
carving their pumpkins

smelling the scent
of firewood
while also listening to
Frank Sinatra

autumn, oh autumn
where have you been?
Sometimes all we need
Is to go back in time
And change few things.
When i am with you
Even depression feels beautiful
A <3
Every step I take it's on the wrong foot
And I ask my self,can it  be any different..
when both of my feet are wrong.
Every wrong step,on every wrong foot
and every wrong path that i take
taking me further from my self
and everything that i'm suppposed to be .
I belong to the wilderness
and the highest peaks
to the depths of the ocean
the same language we speak

To the blossoms of spring
and the summers’ breeze
I belong to a single blade of grass
and every rustling of leaves

To endless starlit nights
and the hope rising with dawn
With every bird taking flight
I belong to their song

I belong to the love
of a soulmates heart
and to the bitter anguish
that tore us apart

To the carefree laughter
of children at play
I belong to the fear they conceal
and their hope for a better day

I belong to the infinite yearning
of my place on this Earth
and to the unknowingness
and complexity of my timely birth

To my physical features
and the boldness of my eyes
I belong to this body
and why it keeps me alive

I belong not to my emotions
nor heartache or bliss
I belong to the intricacies of wisdom
and forever trust in its abyss
10/20/18.
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