When you see me you would think i had the weight of the world on my shoulders
I look burdened
Weighed down
Each step taken is a struggle
Every movement heavy
Heavy
That's how my body feels
It feels like weights are on my shoulders
It feels like sandbags are tied to my waist
It feels like my shoes are weighed down by bricks
Heavy
My body is so heavy
All my effort
All my energy
Goes into putting one foot in front of another
The corner of my lips feels like it has barbells at the end
It's a chore to smile
Cheeks are sore from the strain
Every muscle is protesting
Why must i drag my weighed down body out into the world
Each finger has a weight
Every motion is weighed down
If you looked at me with xray goggles you'd see all the weight i carry
Each weight has a label
Each weight represents a pain
Each weight has something from the past, present, or future
When people say baggage they think of me
All this baggage
All these burdens
All this weight
Heavy
I'm so heavy
How does one lighten the load
My back is crippled
My knees are buckling
My ankles are shaking
My head is a bowling ball
But i smile
I smile and try to make it through another day
I count the hours minutes seconds until I'm back in bed
Back in bed hidden from the world
Back in bed where my battered and bruised body can rest
Back in bed stripped down and exhausted
Because every day is a chore
All my energy is used getting out of bed
All my focus is used to make myself work
All my effort is used to put one foot in front of another
All my sanity is used trying to not let others see
Its almost impossible having a conversation
How does one speak when they can barely function
How can one speak when using all their strength just to stand
How can one speak when all they want to do is scream
Every day is the same thing
An endless cycle
It will never end
Get up
Smile
Stumble
Survive

I,
The ship lost at sea.
Crashing waves and darkness surround me.

Him,
The north star.
Brighter than anyone I've ever seen

Our loneliness mingles on our tongues
It lingers on the warm spot you left beside me,
When you woke to leave
It shows face on the nights you aren't asleep next to me.

Our kisses are filled with paraphernalia we are too petrified to state.
Our touches hold promises that we can only fulfill.

The ocean and the night sky swallow our lights
Yet, somehow we still find each other.

Why do I love?                                                    
Is it because I want to feel loved in recoil or is it the thought of love in absentia soldiering me to asset love.

Tell me what love is?

Love is the reason I want to get out of bed early in morning to watch the sunrise in her presence,                                           
Love makes my feet numb and my heart seek solitude whenever she stands next to me or sit beside me in the bus on the journey to free my heart.                                                  
Love takes authority of your heart’s emotions desire that feel like a burden, not to her they aren’t,                                                  
Love gives you perception, to see her for who she is, not what she can’t be but what she’s worth.                                                           ­ 
Love is a ****** who invariably needs rehab to stay on track and feel alive where there’s oblivion in array.

Ask me what love isn’t?  

Love isn’t waiting for you across the street,
Love wants you to play a game of chase, chase me if you fancy me love said.                                    
Love isn’t a pack of sheath you keep in your ripped side pocket jean for a quickie,                                                         ­              Love isn’t a puppy nor a cub you can teach to play a game of fetch nor play dead,                                                            ­  
Love isn’t your wrecked black sedan you can panel beat back to its mint right condition,                                                       ­ 
Love isn’t your typical Cinderella fairytale were the glass slipper is fated to fit foolproof,  
                  
Why do I love you asked!      
        
I love to know love, what it’s like to put her in rehab ahead of enemy lines and what it’s like to see the perception of her own personification.

May I entwine
In your pretty serenity,
Forever is a lie
                           Promise
                                          Me
                                               an
                                                   Eternity