sometimes
I get lost
inside
the deepest deep
deep parts  of me
and I have to say
it’s not the worst place
to be!

You would have wanted me there,
to peck a kiss softly on your cheek,
to bid you farewell as you depart,
to see you finally so peaceful and free.

My heart was in love with your pranks,
silly fights were our favourite times,
endless conversations was effortless.
How then could I see you lie still?

Forgive me, for not being there,
there wasn't another way,
your near ones would have sent me away,
for we loved each other that way.

So many thoughts to put into words,
a lot of stories meant to be shared,
and hundreds of questions to ask,
but your voice just silenced my mind.

All the running chaos in my mind,
they froze, my voice wouldn't come out.
You were in a rush to keep the call,
and I couldn't believe you had picked up.

Hopelessly, I had dialled your number,
many a times thinking, maybe this time.
You picked when I was nearing my time,
not aware of what's going on in my mind.

I'm glad I have enough time for 5 words,
for you to remember your entire life.
"I love you so much," I said,
my last words for you, you never knew.

Such a fleeting time of bliss,
hundreds of memories,
of smiles, laughter, fights, and tears,
and moments of peaceful love.

All of which are now,
to be cherished for a lifetime.

We always spent time near the waters,
gazing at the reflection of lights,
the ripples forming and spreading,
every moment at peace with nature.

Sitting alone by the waters now,
looking at the birds flying over head,
listening to the splash against rocks,
you occupy all of my mind and heart.

They ask me to let your soul be,
but the heart isn't ready to let go.
I never disrupted your peace on earth,
and I'm sure, I'm not doing it now.

~
Hand and needle,
weapons of mass protection.
Mending day called solace,
bitterness in every stitch.
When all guides disappear
the hand begins to tremble,
that is the material point.
Listen to the water,
the sea is full of memories.
It knows everything,
it feels nothing.

A rage is building.
The sails unfurl,
the wind follows.
A hundred years of
traversing the deep
on a ship full of opiates
and other distant mermaids.
This blood vessel,
cresting the heart of the wave,
you will never completely cross
this body of water
until you learn to trust
the hands that hold back
death and it's squall.

Even now they drop anchor, singing
into the starry sky:

"Gather ye fishermen's wives
As thy men roll out to sea
Pray one and all
Thy sails hold strong this day..."
~

It is the nature of hypocrisy
That the hypocrite doesn’t see
What he or she
Really be
Sometimes I’m sure
The hypocrite is me