Story teller

Now as spring light fades into a softly
blue evening, I turn to you and ask?
If you can tell me more.

The river doesn't flow as rapid as before
the lake is still dry, no breeze blows
away dust of broken dreams.

If you can tell me more tell me now
Before light is a space and
The stillness has lost its echo

I was born to love everyone but I loved so hard the insides of my lugs tore apart. Sometimes I love too deep. In a city too dark to love in, we overlook the mountain and hedges that have pricked the life of us with thorns, banished us in places that see silence through congested thoughts. We sing Like a humming birds. Singing in attempt to abolish the very existence of our stars and the stars we shared yet, we lay quilted in stardust and the silhouettes of our shadows. They burst into flames or kaleidoscopes, a beauty, complimented by the prophecy of life itself. Sometimes we hope to speak like our words have lost themselves in the coils of our tongues but we hope to live with strength not habituated in settings of frost and snow. Our worlds don't intertwine but our hopes do. We seek refuge in prayer during the midst of our foggy minds and the very cosmos of our thoughts. We recite the soft speech of the holy book to excuse us from the blackness of the universe. Our souls wonder naked from emotions and exposed to our own destinies created with incompatibility and dissection.

my garden has a butterfly
each time I see it flutter by
I wonder why it is so shy
and does not want me to come nigh

I guess its ancestors detected
that many of them were collected
to end their lives pinned on a board
then eyed by beings they abhorred

as I prefer my animals alive
I love to see my butterfly
amidst all daily haste and strife
just beautifully flutter by

It’s too much
Too much to think
To write
To dive
Not yet
I’m not ready
To dive
To think
I wasn’t then and I’m not now

I cry harder and harder and harder thinking that each tear
Will rid my brain of these memories 

Drain them
Erase them
Piece by piece
It’s too much
To dive
To start again
This endless cycle
This **** endless cycle
Take them all away dear God I scream
It’s too hard to think
To feel
To think
To dive
To feel
To reminisce

The only thing my body can do is tire itself by trying to release a pain that my heart
My heart
My tired heart will always hold onto

You are an open wound in my soul that will never heal

Each thought of you spills more alcohol into the depths of this ****

You are the lesson I learned
The one that stuck 

Dear God I scream
Dear God let me not have a daughter
I could not bear to watch her die and dive and fall and crash
Slowly and all at once thinking it’s fate and love and heaven and hope 
And everything and anything in between

Dear god I’m too tired
Too broken
I’ve lost my voice
Screaming
Breaking

You haunt my heart
My mind, heart, and soul
Because you will always be the one who broke me.
----

I am raw, plucked
bare and overexposed;
ashamed of my emotions and
too vulnerable, too fragile
I am not threatened but I do not
feel safe, I ache to hide but where can
I hide from my own mind? I need
time to decay my histrionics and my
need for affection so that it never
resurfaces again, so that I never
resurface again -- I am drowned in
something benign but chaotic, replicating
it's mutation endlessly, perpetually, until
I cannot breathe because I am overexposed --
bare and
plucked raw.

What is this line that separates us?

Why this lone tape that cordons our spaces?

Who assigned the thread that parts land and sky; earth and the heavens?

How is it that a boundary could be invisible yet bind so sure?

Which of us was given the right to reinforce... to validate this demarcation?

So what is this line that separates us?



It's reality.

.

.
Seize today.

Because yesterday was a chapter
written in words, actions and emotions
that should never define this day.
Take it.
Own it.
For it's what you make of it.


Revel in the present.

Because all that had transpired
only led to this moment.
You can't change yesterday for today.
But you can change now for tomorrow.


Enjoy the now.

Because the second that has just passed
has no anchor on you.
All that is experienced will fall away.
Committed to memory and learning
with the dawning of next morn's sun.


Anticipate the future.

Because it belongs to you.
It will wait and it will come.
And when it does, it will be beautiful.
Simply because you're celebrating today,
embracing the present,
savouring this second
and looking forward to tomorrow.

.

before the world i stand as woman, African queen
exotic beauty, strong, tough and resourceful
there in lies the damest of all that bind me to a cruel fate
"Africa, the birth place of mankind"
her daughters, slaughtered,mutilated and, raised to feel inferior
relaxers, skin lighting cream, weaves, wigs, diets
raised by western thinkers, propaganda splashed on the soap box
forced to work for the rich and powerful plastic people
forced watered down music

i dream of a world lead by African queen's
confident in there velvet cream skin
loving afro hair
swagging there bustyness with pride
no more selling our bodies for west
taking pride in being different