Heart
I broke a heart
That was once mine
It hurts knowing am not the one bleeding
Young & stupid I was
I took away what I had cherished
Now am perished
In my own tears, drowning away
Hoping for some sanity
From the perfect start to a perilous end
How did she feel?
If I felt like this
Collecting pictures from what we used to be & what we became...
The lovers that went
Apologetic I am until my last breathe
I broke my heart
The part that beats for you
I broke a heart
The one I will always love.

Beneath everything
Every try to be "Almost perfect"
Despite  the daily criticism
I'm still breathing
Breathing through my deep scar
Underlining my super flaw
Everyday I try to be someone else
Just to please someone else
My scars run deep
I gradually fade away
Underlining my super flaw
Every try to be "Almost perfect"
Despite my daily critics
Diving deep into my scars
I still breathe

In a moment of madness
There was a fist fight with the "Inner me"
And He said;
Beneath your scars
You!  Yes you
You are almost perfect without trying
"No one is in control of who likes who"
Learn to love your scars
It's made you

In just a fist fight
Beneath the crazy
Despite all odds
We became one
Scars to my beautiful

The loving is real
All through the Nightingale
Beaming wild in our joyful eyes
No question of doubt
For the girl who loved
For hers is real
And it sinks deep in thy heart
Mind to heart
Heart to mind
It runs through
In just a beating second
We find the passion
For his eyes could tell tales of love
For his love is real
The love of two wild souls
In a monstrous world
And still surviving
No question of doubt
The loving is real

Sometimes I like to compare myself to the stars.
I shine so brightly,
But no one knows how far away I am.
I could be millions of galaxies away,
Or I could be the next one over.
People think stars last forever,
But even they have a tipping point.
Even they explode.
But no one knows,
Until it's too late.
Just like me.

No, I am not perfect.
I am far from being flawless.
I have a lot of insecurities.
I'm a walking mess.

Don't get fooled with my fake confidence.
Deep inside me is full consciousness.

The bags under my eyes, my uneven skintone.
I am afraid to show it all.

People will talk behind me,
everyone hates ugly.

Don't get fooled with what you see outside,
I am not perfect, i hope you understand.

I don't think there has been one moment where I don't miss him. I'm constantly wondering why he won't come back even though I should be wondering why I'm still here. And I often wonder if there is anything I could have done to make him stay.  

I remember this exact day last year and god, what I wouldn't do to go back..... We were getting ready to take our first little trip together and oh, was it memorable. We have always been messy and gone with the flow, but I still don't think this is how things are supposed to be. He would hold my hand everywhere we went and all I could think about was how proud I was to be loved by him. How proud I was of him being proud to call me his. He would love me on my worst days. My ugliest days. The days I couldn't bare to love myself. And I would love him the same. And still, I love him the same.

We used to argue on who loved who more, but this was an argument I didn't want to win. I did anyways. I loved him so much more that I let him crush me and begged him time and time again to fix me. I still am begging him to. I have always said it will always be him and my entire heart wishes this wasn't true. And I hate that he still isn't here but what I hate even more is that I still wish for him to come back. I am longing to feel safe, in his arms, again. I wonder if that day will ever come

I see you from across the room
I've known you for years
But I get this feeling inside
Like I just met you
And as I watch you
You slowly walk towards me
And my insides start to melt
As you get closer, our eyes lock
And I feel things I've never felt
You move me, make me wobble
Once your close enough to touch
I can't help but giggle
You put a finger to my lip
And I secretly smile to myself
Your fingertips move down my arm
Softly landing on my hip
You caress my face with a gentle touch
Then get closer until there's barely a breath between us
My knees go weak
This is all just too much
I sigh and lean in to your mouth
Your lips surround mine
Removing all my doubts
I can feel it in your kiss
And a sudden bliss overwhelms me
This electricity is too hot to miss
I go in hard, I can't help myself
My arms around your neck,
I feel you losing control of yourself
No holding back
I can't help but want for more
And in a flash
We're lying naked on the floor
Fingers, legs, hands and arms
We're completely intertwined
From our souls to our hearts
I feel love to depths divine
And there's no greater sensation
Than when your body finally enters mine
It's an overpowering friction
I'm surprised we're not engulfed in flames yet
These sparks are flying
I've never been hotter
The sweat starts dripping
We've never been wetter
The passions an electric surge
And my body's on fire
I fight the urge
Taking myself higher and higher
I'm lost in you
In your touch, in your eyes
And I'm surprised how unafraid I am
A guilty pleasure with no shame
We climb together as one
A game that we'll both win
Reaching peaks we never knew existed
Crying out in ecstasy
Again and again

I sigh...
And sleep
Cuddled in your arms
Heart and body
Safe from harm

Keep your family close...

It's easy to forget about the people who are near you every day.
Don't take them for granted.
They are the answer to all your problems, in a way.
My grandmother hugged me today.
We both cried over my dying grandfather and her dying soulmate.
This death will bind us, bind the time I took for granted---No more of that.
I have made a pact to take care of her damaged heart--differently damaged, beautifully damaged heart.
It's broken like my grandfather's, who has a short time-span.
I'm as scared as he is.