The stars were out in full force
They were my only source
Of light.
Because tonight
Its just me
Alone, by the sea.
Writing secrets in the sand
Things that no one would understand.
They always get reclaimed by the water
And like a knowing mother comforting a daughter
I always feel like a weight has been lifted.

There's the constant rhythm of raindrops
and you're staring out the window
Watching that one guy at the bus stop
and all rushing people down below.
You don't even look in my direction
As your name fills the air
But I can see your reflection
You might know that i'm there.
your body rises and falls with every breath
as your green eyes try to capture the scene
Like a camera, but with more depth
it takes time to develop, to understand what it means

I think I remember you
From the last vestiges of a dream.
Where reality and illusion blur
In between states of mind.
You're a memory of a memory
That one face in the crowd
In a passing car, a crowded train.
A glitch
A ghost
From a different time
From a different life.

There is a song burning in my brain
Like a feeling I can't contain
It defies any explanation
It breaks every limitation
It is a pure transmission
To me from the musician
I know every groove in the record
Every note of every chord
Every word of every verse
For better or for worse
This song has become apart of me

I miss you today
I miss you tomorrow
I miss you yesterday
I miss you next week
I miss you when you're standing five feet away from me
I miss you when you're out of town
I miss you at night
I miss you in the daylight
I miss you when I see you
I miss you when my eyes are closed
I miss you when I cry
I miss you, so I cry
I miss you at school
I miss you at home
I miss you when I'm all alone
I miss you in the crowd
I miss you all at once
I miss you in bits and pieces
I miss you in my mind
I miss you in my soul
I miss you in my heart
I miss you in my arms
I miss you and your laughter
I miss you and your smile
I miss you when I'm dreaming,
I've missed you for a while.

My mind
my poor mind
is swimming with thoughts
Swelling with oceans of heartaches forgot
Waves of regret rise and break on my shores
But in search of that bliss
I dive back in for more.
I rock
And I tumble
All alone in my head
Contemplate if I've known
what it's like to be dead
I've been numb as a ghost,
I've been colder than ice
yet my heart beats on still in its pale morning light
As dawn breaks on my waters,
what the waves whisper of
is whether or not
i have known how to love.

I feel safest wrapped in
Darkness
Solitary,
Voluntarily.
Shut my eyes and experience the
    Colors,
       Under covers,
Fast asleep.
(I never asked you to be next to me.
I never told you that I couldn't feel.)

       And I feel strangest
In the daylight
In the sunshine or the shade I am
   Opened like a book
For leafing through.
My ink melts and leaks
Off pages
Until
Descension,
  Depths of ages
Passed and to come.
   Again I am one.
(I never asked you to
Let me in)
Cloak of blackness
Masks malpractice
Sets me free.
Solidity,
   Shattered as the sun

Beats me awake and I am
      Shaken,
      Naked,
Young, Dumb, Prepared to Fake it
Let me be.

There is something so grounding about the rumbling of a train going by,
   And then the soothing, settling of the surroundings as it runs off into a whisper, escaping the reaches of your eye.
I sigh.
   Another train, in opposite direction sliding by.
   I see in it the line drawing my potential demise and simultaneously untangling my turmoil inside.
I am fried.
I am fine.
   I am so drawn to these tracks where the machine-cars glide,
   A deep-seated need to witness
Their Force, their Direction, to Feel Alive.

She sat in that chair by the window,
Watching as life went by.
Hoping to receive the letter,
The letter that never arrived.

She sat in that chair by the window,
Listening to the sounds of life.
Clutching to the hope of the letter,
The letter that never arrived.

She sat in the chair by the window,
With the light fading from her eyes.
She never gave up the hope of the letter,
The letter that never arrived.

As I sat in that chair by the window,
With a tear running from my eye.
I wished I had sent that letter,
The letter that never arrived.