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will you take me home
today
tomorrow
on the weekend

will you take me places
i've never touched

will you take control
push me down
turn me on

will you know what to do
with a girl so young
Day 1: I want to tear my skin off. My heart is beating so fast i can barley breathe. I feel so filthy.
Day 2: I can't believe this. I don't want to be here. Why did this happen? Why did I let this happen?
Day 5: I guess I drank too much and my friends were to drunk to stop me.
Day 10: I can't face my friends, I can't live my life.
Week 3: No one knows. He hasn't said a word.
Week 6: It happened again, I was sleeping and he did it again. Why did I stay the night? Why didn't I go straight home?
Week 7: He left and kissed me goodbye. I don't know how to feel.
Week 10: My life's out of control, I can't believe whats happening.
Month 5: My boyfriend knows. But not all details. Just thinking about it, makes me want to take a shower.
Month 8: I finally came clean to my friends. They're appalled. They hate him now. I still feel filthy. I can't get his smell off my body still.
Month 11: The anniversary is soon. What am I going to do?
Year 1: I haven't spoken to him in months. I haven't thought about it in days. I still feel as if hes on top of me, why can't I wash him away?

Its an uphill battle with myself and others. Some days I can't get out of bed or even feel like breathing.
But I try not to let him get to me. Because if he sees my weakness from what hes done,
He's won.
  Dec 2015 Jaxton Tyler Redmond
lX0st
You poke and ****
Until you draw blood
& how much I'd bleed for you
I fear that you love

I wake up each morning
With more scars than the last
& with every new touch
I pray I bleed fast
"...We've got blood and honey
Getting high and getting some,
It's the only pain you know..."
  Dec 2015 Jaxton Tyler Redmond
Rj
My bedsheets are soaked in memories and emotions
A stain of blood there, some drips of tears there,
A warm imprint of people who once held each other there
I put them in the wash, but they don't seem to come out
Don't make me your residue
I am no longer with you
If you remember, 5 months ago you scrubbed me off
Don't continue living in me like an empty useless loft
Why are you so bent on repeating yourself?
I'm healthy, but you literally said I'm too unhealthy to be around.
Contradiction in your words. We're all learning the hard way.
If it seems the words I write don't make sense
If it seems I'm a million miles away, right in front of your face
I'm sorry
There's no words I can write
To let you know how I feel
There's no closer I can be
To make my touch feel real
I thought about driving my car into a tree tonight
these words in my head, when they come out they don't come out right
i wish i had the guts to ask you if you still love me
or if you ever loved me
you don't know what you do to me
i wonder if you did, would you want anything to do with me?
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