Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

I have tears in my eyes and you push me away
This is friendship?

I laugh with you and am given a ***** look
This is friendship?

I tell you I love you and you leave me behind
This is love?

I tell you if I cry yet you can't tell your in love
This is love?

I listen to you and try to understand but all you do is scream at me
This is family?

I tell you I'm in love and you slap me with insults
This is family?

I cry every night and I know it'll never stop
This is life?

I want to die and stop breathing and scream for help though it never comes
This is life?

I never have to hurt again
This is death?

I can stop having to pretend to smile
This is death?

Your toothbrush still has the paste on it
The plate shattered in fragments of you
The glass still has your lip stain on
This bed I'm sleeping in still smells of you
Lying to myself that you'll comeback
Leaving him and crying and knocking on the door begging to come in
But hey, who am I kidding..

Put the car in reverse as you slipped into neutral
A gear must've rusted; I trust the machine busted
because things became mechanical, to be truthful
Major malfunction--our junction ceased to be lusted
by my soul's circuits and tired wires proved to be liars
I thought I knew what I wanted, but I was wrong
My cogs, guts and screws became loose in the mire 
of our muddled love, where I did no belong

What worth is living when everything ran rampant silhouettes of you
Running through these polaroids on the wall
I did get out, but it's you everywhere I go
You have etched this fire in my heart 
When it burns when we're in love
And when it burns my soul 
To ashes remnants of you
Trying my best to get out
I knew you were trouble from the start
But my heart's like a glass thirsts for that lust
Now broken brittled into pieces
Fragments no longer could be fitted 

Puzzle pieces and Polaroids for the incinerator
A conflagration consuming our condition
where you fail to see what I fail to do
I may be coldly pieced together, but I'm no traitor
*My love was just another raggedy rendition,
But your eyes are the demons haunting you

Blood makes you related
Loyalty  makes you family

Last good-bye


Sitting here, I can't help but stare.
Your lifeless body just sits there.
Your lips are in a line.
You don't open your eyes.

All around you people cry,
Children stare with wide eyes,
As your you body lies there,
With your daughter by your side.

I look to my right,
Was met with curious  eyes.
Tears steamed down my cheeks.
"Why does everyone cry?" he asked.

I sighed, trying to hide the sadness from my voice as I tried explain to his six years old ears.

After sitting there for what felt like years.
His tiny hand grabbed mine as he dragged me up to our uncles side,
I forced out between my cries
My last good-bye.