Surrounded by people yet oh, so alone
It took me a month, 12 days and three hours to notice the hole
in my stomach from when you told me I deserved it.
Why is your voice, then, the one thing I wish yelled it?
The sorry sound of apologies I'll never hear,
the ones I make up just to rid of that shatter I feel in my spine everytime
I remember what you said to me April first before the line went dead,
Hell bent on apologies I fabricate and decorate with words my peers love,
to reinstate a relationship I all but deconstructed on my own,
so why am I alone?
Every mistake, I would blame everything you'd take, and I would give more.

I still have a bruise on my knees from the night I hit the floor.
I'd give until I had nothing left,
I have nothing left.

I'm a thief. Good at deceiving,
convincing everyone around who cares
I'm in a good place.
God, am I happy.
Convincing them I'm losing weight by eating clean and not because I lose my ******* appetite every time I remember you never missed me,
I don't sleep.

Why did it take a month to feel this hole consume me?
I'm empty

I'm a bittersweet love
Just wondering if your heart
Can stomach the taste?

Who we were from the start
Kids just chasin' fireflies and stars
Now were to the part where I'd like to get lost
In deep conversation in your car

Can we just take a second and let our bodies be?
Give me just this moment
*Because I couldn't imagine if I lost you out at sea

I want to fall in love you seem just so right for my needs
My heart, my soul it's all being so slowly torn apart
Something is growing though, it must be your gentle seeds

Down, down so buried deep down
Your presence just makes me feel so alive
I'm catching heat, we're just so on fire
And our unmatched Love* can only take us higher

The fire in her heart had grown weak
How was she to win the battles in her sleep
Now and forever she closed her eyes to escape
To find comfort in the deeps sombre embrace
That which she sought she never found
Demons and evils greeted her
Strange faces dark and twisted
They laughed and clawed and shrieked
Through dark halls and forests bleak
Scarier still the faces were familiar
A dream long lost, a memory drifted
One such night as any other
As she wandered a hall yet un-traveled
With a gasp she noticed what stood before her
It was one of the demons that dared to haunt her
Ragged, grimy and caked in mud
It took a step toward her with a heavy thud
In her hand appeared a gun
She shot the demon to the hell it had sprung from
The demon instead shattered and glittered
To reveal a gilded frame of earth and lead
She fell to her knees without a sound
And shoved the gun in her mouth
She must escape this prison
There was no redemption
The demons had tormented her
All too long
Eyes shut tight
She embraced the light
The shot rang out as she softly fell
Deep into the abyss where the demons dwell
She did not wake up
Nor did she return
For the demon inside her
Was her and not else
When ones soul speaks
It’s best you listen
For ones soul becomes tainted
When left unfelt

Dear Diary,
I drove the neighborhood and looked at the Christmas lights tonight. The clouds were patchy and the sky was dark. Everything seemed at peace. I had pulled over and was resting in front of a nice house with gorgeous white lights everywhere.

A few houses in front of me, a door opened.
A figure emerged carrying a backpack, followed by an obviously shouting and gesturing man. The figure spun and said a few short words before marching away down the sidewalk. The man returned inside.

The figure walked a short distance and looked around, as if lost. Then they sat on the curb and dropped the hood. Started to cry, head in hands.

She was only 14.
I walked over and she was startled until I assured her I meant no harm.

"Are you okay?"

"My papa told me to leave."

"Do you have a place to go?"

She shakes her head no. So I ask if she wants help. She nods.

"C'mon. I'll find you somewhere."

She follows. I call a good friend for advice.

"See if she has a friend she can stay with."
Genius idea. She does.

Twenty minutes later I drive away, leaving her with her best friend's family. Tell myself I did good.

Then return to an empty room to spend the night. Hopefully things turn out right.
Merry Christmas kid is my last thought before drifting off.

I never thought the day would come
And there she was
Sitting there in front of me
More elegant and beautiful
Than I had ever dreamed

8,870 miles (14,272 km)
1,339 days
For her to be within reach
She was everything
That she had led on to be....and more

To see
the light in her eyes
To feel
The touch of her hand
Was the best gift
She could've given me

the air, cold
your soul, warm

and christmas, sad

because you're not
here with me.